Tarmac

I've just come back from a little jaunt over to the mainland. It's been ages since I've seen anyone, so felt it was time to remind myself I have friends, before I went totally hermit.
Despite spending at least an hour waiting on the airport tarmac at both ends, I'm glad I went. It wasn't an zomfg-yay-doing-stuff visit. But I didn't want one of those.. I just.. wanted to hang out. Make fun of H's pizza ordering technique with L. Listen to CCB's tales of crazy tutors, and come up with stupid stories about a prince whose best friend is either a horse or a dog, has an interventionist foreign policy and has a disfiguring injury, but no familial conflict re: ruling the realm. Try to pretend like I totally didn't fall asleep while watching American Dad. (I totally didn't). (I pulled my eyelid muscles and had to let them rest). (Honest).
Anyway, it kinda feels like it was a weird dream. Too short, I guess. It's as if I need time to adjust back to being 'myself'. Weird. I could kick myself for the amount of time I wasted with one person. I don't know why I do it. I really don't. It's like as soon as I'm challenged, I retreat back into my headspace and have an entire conversation with myself about how crap I'm being, instead of speaking. I hate it. The only explanation I can think of is way convoluted and makes no sense. Sigh.

On a vaguely related note, I'm always surprised when someone puts thought into getting me a present. Like, when I'm present hunting, I do usually try to think about it some and get something that I think will mean something or be appreciated. It doesn't usually work. But I figure I should at least try when I'm buying something 'generic', like a book or dvd. For some reason, I never expect anyone else to do this. I really am a bit of an arrogant twat, aren't I? Anyway, I always feel really touched (in the warm fuzzy emotional way, not the other way, thanks) when I get something that took mental effort to come up with, or shows that someone has actually paid attention to something I said in passing a while ago. And then I feel bad cos my effort doesn't match up.

Aw, hound of grey has just got up on the sofa beside me and snuggled in. She's getting so fluffy. Well, for her. She's about as fluffy as a cotton bud, but still.

Right. I need to go sort out my horrible mess of an amazon order and finish hoovering. Joy.