Eek

¥o.

I am alive.
I think.

... I still have an essay and a supervision to get through... and they're in different subjects which suxx..

I crashed out last night.. it was fun.. I woke up randomly to people singing Reef - Place your hands, which was nice. It was one of those surreal real life merging into dream moments.. Crashing out meant that I didn't get to do my normal go out, come back, get two/three hours sleep, get up and go rowing still drunk/hungover routine.. which is probably a good thing.. I guess.

Gah.. I have made a major commitment to rowing.....

. . .

I have ordered the lycra.

*feels sick*

Hmm.. I'm finding myself wearing my hat a lot this weather.. wearing my hat makes me feel better. I love this hat. It's a good hat. It's my rave hat, my emo hat, my dutch scientologist hat.. I could go on. But yes, sitting in my room reading about roman law is much better with a hat.

ZOMG this Phoenix Wright case is insaane..

Anyhoo.. I'm going home on Sunday.
And I'm still kinda unsure about it. Like I really want to go home.. but six weeks is a long time. And I don't know what I'm going to do in that time apart from work my ass off to do everything I should have already done and more. And I don't know.. I mean, there's plenty of visiting to be done which will be fun and distracting.. but I think that everything is gonna hit me when I get home.. and I won't know how to deal with it. bah.

But but.. the good life! the day i get home.. yayness!

For some reason I agreed to go to some of my friend's lectures. And I felt quite proud that I know more medicine than she does.. and she's actually studying it. I mean, imagine not knowing what avascular necrosis is! madness!
*rolls eyes*
This place has turned me insane.

Aaanyway.. I have law to do.

And a christmas formal to go to. crackers! tinsel! awesome!

But ergs before then =(
Coxing is the way to go.. they get off easy.. no lycra.. no ergs... just the whole having to steer, keep everyone in time thing...

argh... whhhhyyyyy do rowers have to wear lycra? I mean, yeah the good ones can pull it off no problem.. but I will just make people throw up. maybe that's the tactic.

So yes.. how's life elsewhere?

~over and oot

Ill

Bleurgh.

I had to go and get ill didn't I ? And I couldn't have done my essay before this point could I?
Bah.

My lungs hate me.. and I couldn't stay in the library because I was making too much noise, with my weezing and coughing and spluttering.

That's what I get for trying to stop AIDs.

I really want to sleep. Oh well.

I'm going home in a week. This scares me.
I seem to think that once the first term is finished, everything will stay the same for the next 3 years.. which is bullshit.. but I think it anyway. Which means I'm all panicky =(

I don't like panicking..

[ . . . ]

Well that was the shittest essay I have ever done. Oh well. It was my first problem question. And I have no idea how frequently cases involving fire eating chainsaw jugglers come up.. but I think I will avoid them like the plague.

Which I should have done with this current plague that I have. Rowing is gonna be hella fun with it now that it's actually settled in for the long haul. baaaaaaah.

I was going to blog about interesting things.. but now I just want to sleeeeep. So I hopefully will.

I will return for more essay-complaining hijinks soon no doubt. Like tomorrow. For the next essay deadline.


~Over and night..

[edit at 02.53] FUCKING FUCKING FIRE ALARM. MERGHJSDGHRFWKJ

[edit at 03.30] BLODDY FUCKING TWATCOCK FIRE ALARM BASTARD CUNTFACE A;IHGAER;KLGHJ08GHIPRWHIOWADKS .MNNB;Oewfh'

Crisis number.. Lots.

I am going to chart this crisis.
I forget how many I've had... but it's been a fair few.

So..
Supervision on Wednesday. [20 cases]. Essay for Sunday.
Supervision on Thursday. [7 pages of cases/articles/questions etc]. Essay for Saturday.
Supervision on Tuesday. [30 cases]. Essay for Tuesday.

Now I know that doesn't sound bad. And I guess it isn't really.. I mean.. The reading lists for two of the supervisions are a lot shorter than normal.. but one is MASSIVE.. and that's the one I made a twat out of myself in last week.. So I kinda have to start.. Especially seeing as everyone else has done the Wed. reading and essay already.. and a few have done the essay for Tues.

I hate people who actually work.
Me and FWL [fellow waster lawyer] have waaaay more fun. Like today, we were talking to some sixth formy applicant people.. And I think they were shocked/disgusted by the amount of work we don't do. Although to be fair I did come in sit down and get out the DS and start playing Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney in front of them by way of introduction.

Anyway.. reading to do. I have my mini caramel mega-sex squares.. So I should be ok. I may end up in the law library again in my pjs. That was a fun time. Pissed. On the floor. Of a library. In pyjamas. Stylish. As you can see.



Start Time - 17.38

[17.49] I already don't understand. =( Gonna be a looong night.. And I'm probably going out tomorrow night.. Although hopefully last week's events won't happen again.. that was just strange. Baaaah. Right. I will make sense of this judgement. Just you wait and read...
You may be waiting a while.

[18.24] Ok. Wtf are 'chattels' ??! Like really, who uses that word? It's nearly as bad as 'preclude' although not quite.. because preclude is everywhere.. whereas this seems confined to something about stamp duty.
Seriously, what's wrong with 'prevent' ? Hmm?
And in the case of 'chattels', what's SO bad about 'items' ? huh? huh? tell me. Tell me now.

[20.35] Well.. That has been fun. I've been productive.. just not on the work front.. Had a chat with the porters.. reported the non-functioning heating [seriously, my room is colder than outside and my fridge, although that's not surprising at all] and the lights that aren't ever on.. and managed to get someone else to cook for me =) And goddamn, this pasta is so good I might actually finish it...
Uhh.. yes.. got the saturday essay title, finally.. it is "To what extent do unimplemented European Community directives have direct -or any other legal -effect in national law? Is the law in this area satisfactory?"
I have a feeling I should ask someone who has done politics about this..

Build it up build it up build it up...

[22,38] Have hit the library. But not in pjs cos it was rainin'.
It's quiet.. too quiet..
And I look like a fool sitting here dancing in silence..[headphones].. ah well.

Will report back later sergeant..

[00.14] I still look like a fool.. dancing away with my shoulders and hands..
There's a humidifier in here. It's noisy. I have done hardly any work..
And I have no idea what I HAVE been doing...
This post is probably getting long.. And I don't think these all day updatey ones are much fun to read..

yaaaawn. I want to go to bed.. but my room will be BALTIC. And I don't like sleeping in a t-shirt and two hoodies with a hot wheaterbottle. Baaah. No.
Must. Not. Think.

Do I dare brave the freezing room of death?

I could just sleep here.. In every law-related building they make the tables/benches perfectly bed sized.
Right FWL and I have decided to head back to the big ice box. Feeling like an earlyish night after the hell that was Scumdies. Eurgh. *shudder*


~ A poor choice of words in wanting to tell you anything..

*stares*

Roman essay due soon.
Very soon.
Not yet started writing it.
Not quite sure why I always end up here.

Bah.

HOW fawesome was the Boosh?!!!

c'mon guys you gotta have watched it..

[excuse me whilst I make stuff up about romans.]

[23.18] garh. Stupid Romans being smart.

[01:41] I hate essays.

[02:12] Well, that's a fourth if ever I wrote one.

Now to get up in 4 hours. eeeesh.

[to be edited...]

[09:11] ok.. so I did kinda oversleep.. but not too much, thankfully someone knocked for me at 07:04.. so I just managed to pile 4 layers of warmish clothing on before trying to run to the boathouse via frosty paths..
I'm having bad flashbacks of my essay. Oh well. It doesn't count for anything.. just my self-esteem. Supervision will by fun-ahoy. And thinking about it, I will actually fall asleep in it. Supervisor has a really soothing voice.. and I'm really easily persuaded to sleep these days..

[09:22] haha.. my fellow waster lawyer was fast asleep too.. I went and knocked her up just in case.
She has viral conjunctivitis.. as does her neighbour.. Which means that I will get it next as it is slowly spreading along the corridor towards me.. or y'know, maybe I've just caught hypochrondia complainia..

Can't believe there are two weeks of term left. It's strange.. like.. where did it go? why don't I know anything? is it because I'm a waster? when did I become a waster? is it even possible to be a waster lawyer?
Hmm.. whilst I'm sure anyone reading this would simply love me to continue on with these meaningless questions... I gotta go get some coffee and something vaguely edible so I don't die during the course of the day.. or y'know miss any of my lecturer's legal comedy gold.. she's a legend.

[to be updated... maybe]

[13.10] I didn't get coffee or food =(
and it wasn't the normal on fire friday comedy wise.. best quote was "wagging the subjective tail.... does that even make sense?".
Supervision T - 2. Still no idea what the word 'mancipi' means. Which is kinda bad.. seeing as it's used all the time.. not as bad as not knowing what assault was the other day though. cringe. We just looked it up. Makes even less sense now... I love it. Thoughts anyone?
aaaand I'm staring at the screen instead of Borkowski.
Not me : "You are such a whingey freak.. you whinge for no particular reason.. come to think of it.. so do I
Me: I think it's a lawyer thing."

Current shopping list:
Sword
Laurel wreath
Optrex
Mini caramel squares of sex

[taking break to discuss roman law with fellow waster - 13:28]

[22:39] Rar. Not gonna bother with watching more children in need.. need bed.
And I hate being tired because when I'm tired I get even more thoughtful. And then I remember things I don't want to. And then I just feel even more tired. Blah.

Went on a quest for a sword after the supervision..
it wasn't so successful =( which I think is insane.. the only one I found was in the disney shop and it was part of a potc set and was crappy.. I want my rave sword back..

I should probably sleep.
Given that the total amount of sleep I've had recently has barely reached double figures..
Ha, the 'newspaper' had this article about students who take proplus/ritalin/red bull to stay awake at night to do the work.. and guess what? sometimes they can stay up until 2 in the morning! like zomg...

Grow up you pussies. You can stay up until 2 with just water.

~over.

p.s best line from supervision today - "I would recommend that you all read more from the digest... and when I say 'more' I'm being generous"

My brain

is dead at the moment.

I think it's having a holiday from the constant thinking. Not that it's ever thinking of the right things.

I think I'm also having cravings. I have cravings quite a lot actually. Not the pregnant kind, because that would be weird. Just like.. sometimes I have a craving for vegetables and vitamins.. Then for bacon.. And now I'm craving normal people. It occurred to me yesterday that I could be becoming even more of a jackass. And I have no way of knowing because I don't have normal people to gauge the relative measure from. And I really don't want to become a major jackass. I'm happy being a dick. Like, am I still the same person? Will people who have known me for more than 5 weeks still like me? I really hope I haven't become some arrogant twatface. That would suck.
Like, I just want to go chill with some people.. and not care. Have no deadlines to think about, no lists to get through..
Basically I just want to exist. But with no real purpose. For a while. The constant staring at words is slowly draining me of all enthusiasm. This week's criminal reading list isn't so bad though, only 40 cases. ¬_¬ [Last one was 72, I just counted]
But yeah, I think I have whatever week this is blues. Except not really, because I'm not blue.. just deflated. Like I have no energy. Which, by the way, is really crap for rowing machines.
Term is going to end soon.. and I don't know how I feel about it. I'm looking forward to going home and stuff.. I just.. I don't know.. I feel like everything is drifting. Drifting somewhere I can't get to or grab hold of or have any way of controlling at all. Sometimes I like having no control and just going along with things.. But everything is just so whoosh! and you go along with it.. that I think I'd like to be able to have some effect on my environment...
Hmm..

I'm still not sure if I am supposed to be here.. like.. I do like it for the most part, but I just have moments where it is so crystal clear that I'm not the typical person that I begin to wonder why I'm here.. Like in one of my supervisions this week, we were talking about parliamentary sovereignty.. and I, eloquent as ever came out with, ' So if Gordon Brown was like "Right chaps, I'm the dude..."' And while it was funny.. afterwards it was just so clear that the point I was making wasn't taken seriously at all and everyone else was just cringing their way through.. and I don't like it..
because I'm not expressing things in some extremely convoluted way.. I feel woefully out of place.. bah.

Maybe I will just be a renegade. Like a Kingsperson, but not at Kings. Because that wouldn't be rebellious. Would it?
I no longer know.


I think I may be schizophrenic. Or bipolar. Or something. Or else I'm just having a sugar rush. You decide.

Hmm.. in summary I'm happy.. I just feel empty.. I think.

Um.. yes.. I'm going to stop here.. to save yourself. Because this doesn't make great reading.

Cat - I'm timing how long it takes you to successfully stalk me. I can reward you with the contents of my fridge- butter, cider, milk and southern comfort. It's like the assassins guild.. except with less polystyrene fridges.


~Over and out of my head like legal knowledge.

I went to A&E yesterday/today.
It was fun. I should get symptoms of serious diseases more often.
I should explain the backstory.. backstories are important..

So a few days ago the headline of the local newspaper changed to "COLLEGES IN GRIP OF KILLER BRAIN BUG".
I got excited thinking some insane parasitic worm was infecting people and sucking out all their intelligence. It turned out to be meningitis, which IS a killer brain bug, but not as I had imagined. So you know, I get changed into my comfy comfy pjs and notice a rash on my shoulder. Interesting. I poke it. It doesn't fade. Nice. So I text my friend saying "Yo, I might have the killer brain bug".. jokingly of course. She was at a toga party at the time.. which I wasn't at because I chose the van of death instead. Anyway, I decide to go to bed.. but then people get back and I was all "Hey, check this out" *shows off freaky rash thing*.. Everyone did the rolling a glass over thing and was like "holy crap, that's meningitis, wanna go to gardies?" [and I said VoD all the way, they're nice and some guys actually got to go IN the van yesterday.] until.. Someone went and knocked on a medic's door to ask for a diagnosis..
Inside the medic's room was another medic who was paranoid that she had meningitis.. so once she saw me it was off to A&E..
Which was, actually a lot of fun. For the hours of 12-2.30am.
But really, a Glaswegian, a Geordie and me.. sitting in A&E making inappropriate, un-PC jokes... comedy gold you can't make up.

So yeah.

In other news, I am a fucktard.
Like you know when something's bad.. so you try to do something? but then it makes it worse.. so you just keeeeep going. until it's a big mess. And you've made it so bad that you can't help but go in circles? Well yeah. That's basically what I've done. and it sucks. Because I don't really know how I did it, or how I'm going to fix it.. I have no other input except my own head, which you just know is going to be a disaster. And I don't like feeling guilty when I don't notice something and so don't cross the street accordingly to avoid putting a downer on someone's day/making indifferent or bad thoughts enter their head for a split second. And I want to get it sorted out before I have to pack up and leave. But it's not going to.. because I keep just making things worse. And I don't know what to do. And it's hard to try and sort out. I think I know a really easy way to do it, which is what I wanted to do the first place anyway, but trying to get someone to do something they don't want to do without being able to have a conversation with them is quite tricky when you're as big a twat as I am.

And everything is so circular.
I'm a twat -> I do twatty things -> people get annoyed -> I cock things up, act like a twat -> people don't want to talk to me because.......->i'm a twat!

And I don't know if admitting that I'm a twat helps things? or makes it worse? no effect at all?

See why having meningitis was fun?

So...

I really, really, really REALLY want that ^ level of comfort.

I should be writing an essay on roman law.
I've got til midnight.
I don't know anything on the topic.
The books don't talk about it much.
Well... maybe they do.. I wouldn't know, not having read any of the extracts I'm supposed to.

I want a break.

To do nothing.

To just exist.

Instead of having to effectively write 4 essays in 2 days with none of the reading.

Playing Pheonix Wright. Yes..
I want life to be like Pheonix Wright sometimes. But then I would just yell "OBJECTION!!!" at every available opportunity..
It's like yesterday, I went next door, DS in hand..
Me: Goddamn. I hate this.
Not me: What?
Me: I hate it when people lie...
..And you know that they're lying..
..but you can't PROVE that they're lying...
..because they might not be lying..
Not me: That's so Irish.

On the plus side, yesterday was halloween. So I got to look shit and in doing so, looked alright. For once.
Tonight is supposed to be indie nu-rave night.. but I don't have the clothes.. oh well.
And I have that essay to do still.
Fuck.

On another plus side, I got two 5 week blues packs.. Double the bubbles!!!
*blows bubbles all over room*
Happiness..

[NB this post is insane all because of an IT course about legal sources. *bangs head off desk* it has pushed me over the edge.]

Now to make shit up about women in Rome.
Think I'm gonna go with a correlation in rights with sexual favours.

~over and out of my mind