Rain

Well. I walked home from a club, alone, for the first time in a while.

It was raining.

If I had broken down, it would have been quite poetic.

It was quite poetic anyway.

I did contemplate jumping into the river.. just because it looked so dark.. and would probably be a good release.. but then I thought about my phone. And how it would never survive. So I stopped myself.

I am not drunk. I wish I was.

The irony of having many people ask 'so how long's it been?' was not lost on me.

I just...

I dunno. Maybe I'm being paranoid. And insecure. But it feels exactly like it has before, and there's been no improvement. No sign of change. And it isn't healthy for me to be thinking these terrible things all day every day.

I just want to sleep.

So that's what I'll do.