27/06/12

This is not going to be a happy post. Just to let you know in advance.

I feel pretty useless at the moment. The continual inability to get a job is really dragging me down.
I hate the process.

I look for jobs on all the usual big websites. I check charity, legal and NI specific sites, to try and narrow down to something where I have a reasonable chance of being qualified. But there's the problem. I'm not qualified. I don't have an HND in management, HR, typing, secretarial studies, or anything. I don't have 2 years experience of a "customer facing role", a particular type of litigation, fundraising programmes, marketing, or development schemes.
So what do I have? Nothing worthy. A sub-par degree. A post-grad diploma which is meaningless outside of a very niche market. 3 months of paralegal work. 1 month of teaching. Volunteering with 2 organisations since uni. Volunteering with 2 organisations in uni. Some sports.

I can't afford to live anywhere but at home. I'm pretty sure that's narrowing down the number of positive responses I'm getting from jobs elsewhere (not that I'm getting any positive responses). Which kinda sucks, seeing as there aren't many jobs here.

I'm almost getting to the stage where I will apply for anything. But that approach doesn't actually improve anything.. Again, I'm still not qualified. Plus questions are always asked about whether it's what I want to do and whether I will be committed.

It feels like I just can't win.

On top of this, I miss my friends. I know that there's fb and so on, and that helps. But I still feel as if I'm sitting here on my island isolated from everyone and everything. I know it probably wouldn't be any different if I was elsewhere. But still.. it feels like I don't know what's going on in anyone's life, and that I don't really have anything 'current' in common. I'm becoming increasingly bad at being upbeat. And that's really no fun to talk to. It's a vicious cycle, and I feel myself becoming increasingly bitter. I don't want to, but it's not really something I can stop.

Sigh.

Anyway. Back to the job sites.