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Arg.

I turn into a despondent zombie all too easily.

I'm amazed I managed to get home. 

I need to learn to stop zoning out... or at least learn to appear semi-normal whilst doing so.. 

I hate that I'm so obvious. I don't want to be an open book. 

Also. Last day of bumps. Chasing the same crew for an overbump. 2 freaking metres. So frustrating. Enough, boatie! Enough!

I am not commercial. I think I established this today. I also established that I am horrifically mediocre and not all that intelligent. Boo, hiss, et cetera. 

Sigh. 

I wish I knew what I wanted in life. Apart from a house in the country with dogs, horses etc. I wish I knew how I am going to achieve the house etc. God damnit, I just want to be content and left to my own devices without the need for any sort of earning capacity. Let me be world.. Let me be! I could just potter about quite happily, not causing any [much] trouble. 

I miss my stupid dogs. Quite why I miss this mess: 

I'll never know. 

Sigh.

I want new music. I want to have this essay done. I want I want I want.

God. I don't like this. Argh!

I want to go.. I dunno. Punch a wall or summat. Yer. Well 'ard, innit.