Heavy In Your Arms

And is it worth the wait,

All this killing time?
Are you strong enough to stand,
Protecting both your heart and mine?
Who is the betrayer,
Who's the killer in the crowd?
The one who creeps in corridors
And doesn't make a sound
[...]
My love has concrete feet, my love is an iron ball...
[...]
This will be my last confession
"I love you" never felt like any blessing
Whisper it like it's a secret
Uttered to condemn the one who hears it
With a heavy heart..

I'm really feelin' the twilight soundtrack.

That might just be because I have had 3 hours of sleep in the past 48 hours though.

Got up at unreal o'clock on saturday, went to ldn, opened bank account, sweated all over the shop, had interview, sweated all over the mall, got to drinking at my bro's bbq, got drunk, went to see twilight eclipse in a most lovely little place called Finchley, stood in central ldn til 3am, got back to bro's flat and didn't sleep much...

I just wish I knew what I was doing. It's like there's a little switch that flips in my head when it comes to KJ. I just can't help it. And that sounds like the worst ever excuse for being a shit human being. I just... arg. I dunno. I guess it doesn't really matter anyway. KJ has finally realised what a cunt I am. But gah, the feelings are still insane.

Just for tonight darling, let's get lost..

I am so tired. I couldn't even drive home.