Marked.

Right. I made a list. Because I knew I would forget about things to talk about. 

It isn't a very good list. We'll see what happens.. 

Hmm.. it seems I have come back.. and out of my little isolated music bubble and this annoys me.. because there are essentially two choices when it comes to music:

1) TOTAL isolation. No radio, nothing. This is difficult. It's nice because you are completely in charge of your own development but then you can be ages behind. But then if you are truly isolated, you will never know.

2) Total integration. This sucks because you get things like overplay and just general ruining of bands.. 

Since getting back, 1 has merged with 2 and it's not good.. 'Cos like [and here's my music snob side] I'd found some pretty decent music and was immensely liking it over the past wee bit.. and I get back, and it's on a fucking hollyoaks advert. HOLLYOAKS. And apparently the world has been pimping out Sara Bareilles without me realising. I spose I had years on them though. But still. And I don't know.. I just like to have music to myself for a bit.. and to think that it's only being listened to by a relatively small number of people and being appreciated and it's growing and stuff... and when I realise that everyone has been hearing it.. I don't know.. feel slightly tricked and that everything I gained from the music was false somehow.. 

Yes. I know. Freak. 

Frightened Rabbit are better than bloody hollyoaks. I mean are they really going to play the lyric 'should we kick its cunt in and watch as it dies from bleeding' ? 

Hmph. 

Next thing I know, I'll come back and Josh will be doing arena tours. >_<. 

I need to be less retarded about music. 

Glasto is on at the minute. This makes me sad. Music festivals are shit for trying to maintain communication. Humph. People are there.. And I want to talk to them. I would also quite like to see some of the bands kicking around.. hmm. 

A lot of people are going and being proactive and doing things this summer. I, as ever, am not. This sucks. I suck. I never get around to doing anything, apart from missing the folk who are away and wishing I had bloody well done something. Too much of a lazybum. Ah well. 

I also get scared of people changing... Like take the people on gap years or anyone doing a decent amount of abroad time.. When they come back they will be different, they will have 'grown'.. I've regressed. Will they still want to know me, talk to me, find the same things funny?

I very much doubt that they will.. Don't the clocks turn back this evening? Another hour for you to try and forget, to try and correct your mistakes... Sometimes I wonder who would notice if I just disappeared.. I think Diggs might. And my mum. But apart from that.. Trying to gauge your own significance could be a difficult exercise.. For me, not so much. I know I don't matter much. I'm just matter... and that's all that matters anyway..

Hmm. I was supposed to finish that post... but I've forgotten what it said.. two shakes of a lamb's tail... 

...

*shake*

.....

.........

*shake*

Ok.

Awkwardness and me not deserving my results.. 

Well. I don't know if I deserved a 2.i or not. Looking at the amount of work I didn't do during the year... probably not. I guess I did work a bit come to exam term.. but nothing in comparison to others.. But then I don't know if it's more fool to them, or more fluke to me. I think it just feels and seems as if others put a hell of a lot more in to it and knew a lot more than I did, regardless of whether this was the actual case. And I know that others deserved at least the same grade as me.. I mean, I made 30-something videos this year. 30-something. Not to mention the number of finger puppets. 

Awkwardness is going to have to wait once more. Important scribbley ideas have occurred. To do with cults and communism and oh this is going to be awesomazing. 

Musick

Wiley - Wearing My Rolex

Frightened Rabbit - Keep Yourself Warm

Josh - We Slept In Our Beds

Josh - There's A Girl

F.C.P.R.E.M.I.X - Fall Of Troy

Ssion - Heaven

The Postal Service - We Will Become Silhouettes (Matthew Dear's Not Scared Mix)

I Was A Cub Scout - Pink Squares

Josh - Disappearance Plans

Tegan and Sara - Back In Your Head (RAC mix)

Say Anything - Colourblind

Josh - Carving On Wood With Shards Of Glass

Uh Huh Her - Wait Another Day

Union of Knives - Evil Has Never