36 Degrees..

Zoh my god.
It is so outrageously hot in my room. Why must my world consist of constant extremes? It was freaking baltic in winter and now it's a sauna. Grr. I go from being ecstatic to deeply sullen and defeatist. No wonder this place turns out so many bipolar people, it IS bipolar itself. Hmph.
And I'm getting sick of the sea of people that are outside my door and in my way everywhere.. Just because they can spend the time lounging in the sunshine and I can't... even though I do.. frequently. I HAVE A TERRIBLE WORK ETHIC.

Sigh. I am royally, republically, screwed. I can't emphasise that enough. There aren't enough formatting tools for a start.

Anyways. I should move on.. Can't remember what to though. When did I last do this? What did I talk about? I've been mostly drunk since then.
Hmm.
I'm not liking this. I want to curl up in a corner and make the world just go away and stop bothering me for a bit.
I'm still a slave to gravity..

- - -
Hmm. Just got back from a supervision..
I don't know whether I love or hate the fact that my supervisor does the legal equivalent of slapping me in the face with a wet fish and then pulling the carpet out from under me so I end up 180 degrees away from where I was with a new bump on my head and a baffled look on my still damp face.. 'Cos one the one hand it's awesome that there is this person who has thought in this way, knows so much and is teaching me.. but at the same time how can I have completely blindsided that entire viewpoint? Increased self-doubting is the only outcome really.. Sigh.

I think I have quite a lot of stuff to remember this week. I should probably write it all down somewhere.. Different supervision day, go to odd training thing, collect tickets, go to talk, get plan written, obtain permissions.. oh and revise. Of course. Aaaand, I still have to write a list of which cure songs to listen to. Giving someone who doesn't like them 300+ songs/versions with no guide is a bit of a mistake.

Did you know that I have the eyes of a drug addict? Because apparently, I do. Random.

I'm considering writing a book. I don't think I will, because it would be a hideously boring book and of no interest to anyone but I'm considering it all the same.. summat to do innit guv? I don't think I would be a good writer. Mostly because I present in such a way that betrays the actual honest meaning behind it. Words, remember, are not my friends.

I don't know where this is going. I don't know where it's been. I'm not in the correct frame of mind to admit to anything right now. It needs to be darker and I need to be drunker.

Conflicted. Innit.

If you save my soul, I'll feed your ego...