mumbley..

Hullo.
Happy Weekend...
I know I promised a decent post.. But well.. You know how crap my morals are.

I had to get up at 5.15am today. So guess what time I went to bed? 3.22. I am a veritable bastion of sense, clearly. At one point I had decided that there was no point going to sleep.. but then I just got so very very tired [due to the debt piling up like spides on a fake gold medallion] that bed was the only option... You know, 'cos my bones got tired.. and that feeling is hard to ignore. Do you agree? 'Cos every fibre aches and just wants to sigh and stay still..
Anyway. Dragged my form out of bed and managed to coordinate myself to a reasonable level.. Then we went on a traipse across the town at 5.30am. And now the suck really starts to hit the saw. The drive to el Big Smoke took THREE HOURS. By the time we went out raiding it was 10 o'clock. Two points;
1- We missed the rush hour. Being present for the rush hour was the point of the exercise.
2- Why the fuck did I have to be conscious at 5.15am if I could have gotten a train as late as 9 o'clock?

Anyway. We raided. Once again I found myself wondering about humanity. I found the types of people who gave the most money interesting.. Generally I found that those in suits were scroogier. Although there were the few anomalies who were nice. I want to be that anomaly. You would be surprised at the depths my thoughts can go to whilst inanely plastering a smile on my face and repeating the same 3 phrases like a skipping cd.. Except I guess my thoughts weren't really that deep. Just that.. I really don't want to be that blank person too busy on the phone to notice the world.. I don't want to have that 'regretful'* half smile as an automatic reflex when something threatens to take up a speck of time..
I don't think I have the 'correct' attitude..

Next thing about today which was a bit crap nd that. We were going to hospital on the bus.. and as an old lady was getting off she tapped me on the shoulder and informed me that "these seats are for the elderly, NOT for you..
1- She had a seat.
2- Had she not had a seat I would have moved.
3- Sorry, but NO. Those seats are not for the elderly. They were not designated as such aaaand... there were no little stickers. Besides, it would be discriminatory and public transport can't do that shit. Giving up your seat for someone is a courtesy not a rule. [and despite my whiny selfish bastardic mini rant, a courtesy I would normally give].
4- I had 2 hours sleep and had spent the most part of the day standing up so I probably would have fallen over.
5- She knew nothing about us. The fact that it was a bus on the way to the hospital might have clued her in to the fact that seats were a requirement. I dislike being judged to be a yob with such immediacy. And being spoken to as if I am 5 years old/ a lower class of human is not nice. I accept that it happens to me often, because well.. I am pretty much a 5 year old.. but still. *grump*

I realise that I am a horrible person**. I just didn't like her assumptions. I will go straight to hell without collecting any of the fun sins.

Aaaaaanyway. I apologise for allowing this post to descend into semi-ranting. And I put it down to being tired and generally a grumpster. And I know I come across as a complete wankertwatbrat. =(

Tomorrow will be better I swear.

~over and out

*patronising
** no really, I am. And I'm also incapable of understanding anything. There will be proof of this in my next emo-centric post.

music [ note; I know, I was a lazy bastard and haven't capitalised anything properly. Normally this would be totally unacceptable. If my iTunes looked like this, my eye would twitch and the vein in my head would pulse. Looking at it, it annoys me.. hrrm.]

taking back sunday - what's it feel like to be a ghost
girl talk - bounce that
the cure - taking off
sufjan stevens - for the widows in paradise, for the fatherless in ypsilanti
regina spektor - dusseldorf
rachael yamagata - letter read
biffy clyro - the go slow
hello saferide - the quiz
placebo - post blue
laura marling - my manic and i
apoptygma berzerk - shine one
rilo kiley - the frug
northern state - sucka mofo
ani difranco - 32 flavours