Let Up

This. Fucking. Cough. 

Seriously. 

It doesn't seem to have any agenda, apart from striking at random [and when I'm asleep, or trying to be] and continuing until my lungs are out of air and I start to feel a bit spaced out. Embarrassing when you're out having dinner. 

I think I may have become used to a higher level of random spluttering than I really should be.. In that, people keep asking if I want some water, or if I'm ok, when I haven't been coughing that much or that seriously...in my opinion.. Sigh. The look that I got from LTIAM [lawyer that is a machine] when he noticed I still had a cough was interesting.. 

Anyway. I will go badger a doctor about it when I get home. I hope I haven't got TB. That would suck. 

Eek. Leaving cam tomorrow.. Leaving always stresses me out. There's the whole panicking about losing friends soon thing, the packing problem and then the 'how do I actually get to where I need to be' dilemma. Hate it hate it hate it. 

And I have to take multiple trains tomorrow. I don't understand trains.. Nireland only has like, three. So if there isn't a train going from where you are to where you want, you don't get it. None of this going via somewhere else business. 

Last night was nice. Better than I thought it would be. Good dinner [apart from the coughing that is] and good times afters. Made me realise that I'm strangely guard dog-like when it comes to people I care about. And that warm days mean FREEZING nights. Serious lung chill factor. Although saying that, I love being within walking distance of places and people. Much better than having to drive everywhere.. zomg, I have to drive places. Fuck. Must not kill people. Must not kill self. Wheeeee! 8 days till revision funtimes! 

In other news: Karma is A Bitch. And my hatred for the 'I don't want to be in a relationship right now' excuse has been well and truly cemented. I'm pretty sure that it would come under the failure to give reasons head of judicial review, if such decisions were judicially reviewable. But it's just.. sigh. Like, I don't dislike someone for saying it, but I just think that it's not seeing the forest for the trees, or the trees for the forest, I'm not really sure which way round it works here. Because saying 'I don't want to be in a relationship right now' is probably a true enough statement, but it fails to acknowledge that that isn't the actual reason. 

I've been told the line in question before, and in hindsight, I think I understand why I found it so difficult and upsetting to deal with. It's a catch all. It's the equivalent of the phrases 'territorial integrity' and 'political independence' in art2(4) of the UN Charter. It will apply in most cases, and it will be correct, but it won't be helpful.. "You don't want to be in a relationship right now? Well that's freaking obvious because you are BREAKING UP with someone". It would be a bit odd if someone kept a relationship going despite not wanting to be in one.. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is it's all a bit Q.E.D.

It isn't often that the person doing the breaking will actually think about it and honestly tell you what the real reason is. And to my mind there has to be an actual reason behind it. Even if it's 'I don't want to be in a relationship right now because you annoy the bejesus out of me'. Avid readers of my blog [FWL] will know that I struggled for ages because of this lack of reason and the contradictions that followed it. I need reasons.. Solid, honest reasons. Probably why certain types of law are so difficult for me to grasp.. but anyway. That 'because...' is crucial.. 

I can't really think of a situation where there wouldn't be something to follow that 'because..', which explains the wood trees/trees wood thing. The breaker knows, and articulates, that they no longer want to be in a relationship, but doesn't go into the detail. And I just don't like that. 

I hope this is making sense.. From my point of view it makes more sense than it once did. I dunno.. I don't usually consider things like this for fear of remembering all the things I probably should have said [and potentially should still say] for the security of my future sanity. But it's done now. 

Basically, 'I don't want to be in a relationship right now' might seem like it's the kindest way to get out of a relationship.. but it is far from it. And I really dislike the idea that other people will potentially have to go through the same process that I did, [grateful though I am now that I'm on the other side of it] because it really freaking hurts. 

So... guess I should get back to packing, huh? 

~over and out. 

...blah..

Hm. 

Y'know, sometimes, I feel like I really want to smoke. Like now. I think it's because I'm really bored, and smoking is something to do which also forces you to change your scenery by going outside. I mean, I could just go and sit outside but there wouldn't be any purpose to it.. 

Anyway..

I got my duct tape today, and have one box all taped up. Can't really see any cardboard anymore.. Whoops.  Tomorrow I will have to go into hyperspeed and figure out how to get to where I'm going.. Blegh. Cannot be bothered. 

Will update again when bored enough to eat my own face.. 

Sunshine and walls..

Just spent some time on the people watching wall.. it was good. 

A spider tried to make a web between my knees. 

I made a few notes. 

It was sunny. 

I should attempt to do some work.. 

To the garden! 

45 mins

Is how long I'll have to get used to writing for. So this is an experiment. I'm going to keep typing for 45 mins. Not on anything in particular, just whatever springs to mind.. for forty five minutes. 

This is partially because I have tried working and I just can't concentrate on it, so I might get whatever it is that's stopping me out of my system by typing. I know typing is different to writing, but I have a real problem putting words down in general so I guess I might as well start with that first. Before attacking the actual writing. 

So. I've been having A Bad Day. Kind of. I went to bed last night and couldn't sleep. Again. I took some night nurse, it didn't help. It was 4 before I was asleep. So I woke up at 12. Which annoys me no end.  I want to see the mornings. Mornings feel so full of potential, the whole day is still ahead. Afternoons, not so much. 

I've been restlessly clicking through my music collection, not really being content with any of it. Apart from coconut skins and a little chunk of ulysses. Which is a major indicator that I'm in my impatient-can't-do-anything mood. Annoying. Really fucking annoying. I want to get this international done. And I've tried. I've really tried. With music. Without music. In my room. In the kitchen. Outside. None of it works. I keep remembering that I have an essay to write but it doesn't inspire me any further. I'm sure I have several personality disorders. 

Listening to coconut skins makes me want to be able to sing and play the guitar. Listening to any song makes me want to do that. But when I listen to coconut skins I think of the cover that two of my friends did at AGA. It was amazing. They are amazing. Everyone in this goddamn town is amazing. I wish I was as well. I wish I could perform, in general terms. Instead I fall to pieces. 

I also wish I could write. Stories, poems, lyrics, essays.. anything. Maybe by forcing myself to write solidly for a while I will hit some vein that has so far lain undiscovered. Unlikely. Highly unlikely. I would especially like to be able to write essays and lyrics. Essays and lyrics.. hmm.. I like it. Must write it down somewhere more memorable than in the middle of this spiel. 

Ah god. I'm bored. I think it's that I'm bored. I've been writing this for 10 minutes and already I'm bored. I've been bored all day. Maybe I need to go exercise or something. I'm listening to the Japanese version of 'Girlfriend' by Lavigne. That's a sure sign. 

I've also been drawing a new episode of Akomick. It's nowhere near done. And I don't really know where it's going. All I know is that it's about music and that I'm having trouble coming up with enough ideas for 6 pissing squares. Six squares. God. I haven't even got enough creativity to fill an A4 page. What the fuck happened? Hey Hey atashi ni wa wakatteru, no way, no way.. some really long word I can't really make out... Sigh. Right. 15 mins now. 

Time is so unpredictable. 

Gah. Pent up energy makes everything so much more frustrating. Perhaps I should tell people things more often. Or just get pissed off more. I was talking to FM last night about one of my 'friends'. I wish I didn't have to use inverted commas there.. but I do. Because when I think about it, there's really nothing about the connection that resembles friendship. And it's completely the opposite to what it should be, as FM pointed out. 

I miss people. People should be here. Losers. They should be here to distract me and make me not implode due to overenergisation. Check that for a non-existent word. 

Hmm. Spotify just fucked up. Back to iTuuuuuuuunes. Man. I'm tired of this already. Can't I stop? There's nothing really keeping me here. I could stop. But I dn't really want to. I think. I'm not really sure. I want to force words. Stupid repetitive words that aren't elegant or clever or all that meaningful. I also want to be able to paint something. But I have no paints. And no canvas. And no fucking talent. Jesus Christ. 

All that swearing has made me remember that it's St. Patrick's day. Woohoo. Green green green. I wonder what the Americans will dye green this year... 

Agh! must keep typing. So bored of typing. Got nothing to say whilst typing. I don't even think I've managed to write that much. I should probably word count this when I'm done and compare it to my averag essay length of ~800 words. Yeah, I'm THAT shit. Oh fuck. Essay essay essay... Bah. I'll just not do it. I doubt Mr Supervisor will care. Everytime I think of him now, I just want to wash the glass he always has in supervisions. The glass has gone all weird and cloudy. The temptation to fairy power spray it is large. The temptation to fairy power spray this entire cottage is even larger. Gah. Tappy Geddes is back by the way. He sits there at night, I cough, he taps. We have conversations, I'm sure. I just don't know it and neither does he. 

I want to write some Trash. We need to get that done. We also need to do Blair Barrister. There needs to be a spate of videos. Cos of FWL's departure. Sad face. No videos next year. What am I going to do with myself? Fade away probably. 

Argh.. how much longer do I have to do this for? 15 mins. Fuuuuuuck. I just want to stop writing. This is so dull. I can't even come up with something interesting to ramble about, just how boring and crap this is. Fucking hell, I hate myself. I could have picked a topic. Any topic. And probably written something about it. But no. I just whinge about being bored and being crap and so on. It just makes me even angrier and makes me want to moan even more about how boring and crap this is. Fuck's sake! And now my little finger is doing that thing that it does when I erg for too long.. Curling up around the imaginary handle. 

15 mins... I could do something useful in 15 minutes. But I won't because I'll just procrastinate it away. As always. 

Agh fuck it. I'm over this. 1,102 words. Why can I write that in 30 minutes? When essays get so much less in 15 minutes longer? bah. 

My arm hurts now. RSI ahoy! 

Stopping... now. [because I give up at everything.]

Aftercrash

What strange and lovely dreams.. Crashing through the streets, driving off the cliff, smashing on the stones... Tossed out to the sea to drift, and sink, and sleep... Drag my body, drag me from this constant car crash.. Pick out all the glass.. All the shards have made me hard.. Oh, I just can't live like that , crash after crash..

So this spotify thing found me a new good life song. Which I quite like. 

Today has been Unproductive. Quel surprise. I didn't sleep so good last night, I intended to get up early, but due to not getting to sleep til circa 3.30am, I didn't get up til 11. I'll take the medicine earlier this time. 

I was being quite good in doing international, but hit a problem with attribution, so instead of just bypassing it, stopped completely. As I do. And now I've just got coconut skins in my head. Humphs. 

You can hold her hand and show her how you cry, explain to her your weakness so she understands.. and then roll over and die. Or you can brave decisions before you crumble up inside, spend your time asking everyone else's permission then run away and hide..

I managed to watch the Ladies Detective Agency last night.. it was just as good as the first one was last year.. I'm looking forward to the rest of the series ^_^. 

Argh. Right. 

I should get on with things.

Although, the plus side of my procrastination is that I have coloured in my caterpillar page. It is less awesome than the two pears. =/ I think it works if you take the amount of awesome and divide it by the number of fruit... maybe. 

Laters kiddo. 

Hysteric

I am abandoned.. 

It should be an interesting week. 

Right.

I need to do some prioritisin'

First, I need to turn up the tempo, slow songs aint the way outta this. 

Then I reckon tidying the room- desk, clothes, everything else. 

Once the desk is done I can then do some work... yes? That sounds plausible. 

Plan. 

I wish I didn't collect so much crap in life. Oh well. 

Will probably be writing these more often noww... 

~over for now

I Couldn't Love You

It's a contradiction that harms and heals, adores and abhors, I couldn't love you any more.. 

I am quite enjoying the new album. It's different. But still good. The album version of going to hell is awesome.. It has this really creepy backing vocal which works with the lyrics perfectly.. 

But you probably don't care.. So I'll move on.

Yawn. I am resisting napping. I'm quite tempted to have a koppaberg... Mainly because it's the only cold liquid in the cottage. And my throat is scratchy. And I suppose it is 6 o'clock.... 

I hope witnessing the initial stages of alcoholism will be entertaining.. 

You know what's coming now, right? It being the end of term and all... 

Yep, that's right, the freak out. 

ZOH MY GOD. It's nearly the end of second year. That means I only have one year left. THIS IS NOT GOOD. 

I wish I didn't feel this intense panic every time.. I wish I was able to cope with the prospect of not being in touch with a majority of my now friends. 

I've opened the kopp. 

Wheee! Formal with Fabschter tonight!!!! 

I've added in the 'ch' because I like words with 'sch' in them. It's kinda also why I like saying things like 'drunk schmunk' and so on. 

I have no idea what I'm going to do for the next week. Hums. 

Right now, I should figure out what I'm going to attempt to make smart enough for formal.. 

Skeletons

Fall asleep.. Spin the sky.. Skeleton me... Wait, don't cry.. Love, don't go.. Love, don't cry.. Skeleton me..

There are so many things I could go into right now.. So many things I feel I need to write about. 

But at the moment I have a supervision in an hour. Hopefully it won't be one on one this time... 

-----

WHEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

Last supervision is done with. Shame about the two essays still due. Oh well.

Anyway, most of that whee was in fact about the new cursive I have got my mitts on. I don't know if it's any good yet.. but still. xxxcited. 

Anyway. 

I've been quite annoyed recently. By a multitude of things. 

I don't know if anyone that I don't talk to everyday reads this, probably not, so sorry kids, you're gonna get it ALL again. 

Right. 

Some fuckwits, decide to murder two soldiers and one policeman. In Nireland. Where I live for half the year. Where I'm from. Where I get my stupid accent and way of saying things from. WHERE TAYTOS COME FROM. That last one should ensure outrage. Now, about 10 years ago, this would have been nothing new.. but nowadays.. like what the fuck? WHY the fuck would you do that? You freaks, you fools, you absolute fuckers. What reason is there to do such a thing? There's been quite a few years of decently consistent peace.. We have been allowed to be put in charge.. The politicians remembered the fact that we have an economy that needs some urgent attention. We rediscovered the fact that we have feet, and yes! we can stand [or stumble around] on them! 

But no. Some dicks who think they're cool and have some delusional belief that they're fighting for 'freedom', go and shoot two soldiers hours from going to a real war zone, and a police officer simply doing his job.

I reiterate; what the fuck? 

What exactly is it that is so restrictive right now? How are these individuals not 'free' at this point in time? I mean, really, get some perspective, there are no major human rights abuses going on, no genocide is happening. In fact, the authorities are bending over backwards to ensure inclusivity, when most of the time it's woefully uneconomic and not useful in any way.  

And sorry guys, but from a legal standpoint, you got nothing. Maybe in the 1920s there would be a decent case, but now.. nope, nada. I understand enough of international law to know that it's not going to buy into any of this bullshit. 

I mean really, you have to stop using the same old excuses, because they just don't hold. 

So grow up, stop being so pathetic and be grateful for what you've got. 

So, obviously, the actual event annoyed and upset me quite a bit. What actually upset me more was people's ignorance in reaction to it. But having been to see watchmen in between paragraphs.. I'm now too tired to go into it. 

People; they also confuse me. 

But I'm just too tired. 

And too hungry.

I'm at snapping point hungry. 

So I'd best be off. 

~laters. 

Dull Life

Step slowly, you know that you fall between.. dark places.. what a simple web we weave..

Yaaaawn. 

There was lots of squashing! And it was good! And there was winning! And now there are back aches.. Silly FM. I guess the back ache is well deserved though. 

Also, medics, as medics, should KNOW WHEN TO GO TO THE DOCTOR. 

Point over. 

5-3

What else has occurred of late.. hrrm. FWL & FM and I had a smashing time in charity shops. FWL's cousins are visiting, and they're pretty cool.. so formallll tonight. Funtimes. 

7-3

Heh, my cousin appeared at one point. Which... yeah.. It was nice, but I would have preferred other circumstances. And I could very easily be annoyed if I gave it a moment's thought. But I really don't know if I can be bothered to expend the effort on being annoyed. Because I'm tired of continuing to attempt to care, and I very much doubt there is any point whatsoever. 

6-7

However, I reserve the right to be annoyed by hypocrisy. 

Especially when it is just so blatant, that y'know, you assume that it's ironic or something.. but no.. it's not. Which in some ways is hilarious... And in others is just exasperating.. 

9-8

From The Hips

I'm at my best when I'm at my worst... 

I'm excited for the 10th March. My excitement is probably unfounded. I will probably be sorely disappointed. Oh well.   

I should be doing family law right now.. but I'm freaking tired. And I just tried to learn about the use of force [international law] in ~ 3 hours. My brain is creaking loudly. 

Also, this supervision, prima facie, looked interesting. However, it now just looks like last week's. But I guess it's a bit more topical and the cases will probably enrage me when I read the facts. 

Yawn.

Just. So. Sleepy. 

I wonder how many people are at their best when they're at their worst.. I mean, Picasso was crazy as when he did his masterpieces.. as were many other painters. I think people are way more creative when they're in a negative place.. I mean, things written from happy perspectives are never as interesting or captivating as things written from unhappy perspectives. This opinion is why I constantly disappoint and worry my mother. 

I'm trying to think of something I created whilst in a happy and contented mood.. and I can't come up with anything decent. Perhaps it's that desperation you feel when unhappy, to focus on something, anything else.. And get rid of all the excess energy.. Whereas when you're happy, enjoying being happy is the main purpose of the day. I find that I especially cannot write about being happy. Like, at all. Even if I'm happy when I'm writing, I have to write about sad things. I'd say I excel at being miserable, but I don't really. It's all melodrama. And I hate reading it ever again. 

Hrrm. This hasn't really been a productive procrastination. More me talking shit. Again. 

What's new? 

Grr. 

~over and over and over and.. 

We're at our worst when it's from our lips, from our lips we caused a rift.. and the world has fallen in... 

Mirror Error

Arg.

I turn into a despondent zombie all too easily.

I'm amazed I managed to get home. 

I need to learn to stop zoning out... or at least learn to appear semi-normal whilst doing so.. 

I hate that I'm so obvious. I don't want to be an open book. 

Also. Last day of bumps. Chasing the same crew for an overbump. 2 freaking metres. So frustrating. Enough, boatie! Enough!

I am not commercial. I think I established this today. I also established that I am horrifically mediocre and not all that intelligent. Boo, hiss, et cetera. 

Sigh. 

I wish I knew what I wanted in life. Apart from a house in the country with dogs, horses etc. I wish I knew how I am going to achieve the house etc. God damnit, I just want to be content and left to my own devices without the need for any sort of earning capacity. Let me be world.. Let me be! I could just potter about quite happily, not causing any [much] trouble. 

I miss my stupid dogs. Quite why I miss this mess: 

I'll never know. 

Sigh.

I want new music. I want to have this essay done. I want I want I want.

God. I don't like this. Argh!

I want to go.. I dunno. Punch a wall or summat. Yer. Well 'ard, innit.

Lenting

Humph.

One stupid pissing length. Off an overbump. Frustration. I guess that's just the nature of the stuff though. We're now the only crew not eligible for blades.. that might change today though. =( 

Anyway. I talk too much boatie. 

For lent, I am learning something new every day. If you have anything for me to learn, please share. 

I have a chart and everything.  

I hope I remember to stick to it. It should be simple enough though. I guess it's more a matter of recording than actively doing something different. 

Yesterday's thing was that cyclists' heart rates can go above what should be physically possible, so they beat at like 110%. 

Today.... who knows?

I can't believe how fast easter is approaching..  I will get freaked out about it soooon. 

I oddly feel like doing more of those annoying meme things. hrrrm. 

Resist...

~over and ouuuut

Broadripple Is Bumping

That should be 'burning'.. but we just bumped so... 

Whee! ^_^ 

I hope tomorrow goes ok though.. we're missing people tomorrow.. =(

The acoustic night went amazingly well.. we raised £95 which was stellar. All the acts were awesome, the acoustics in the actual hall place were pretty spot on, the PA system was hardly needed, and it was just, ridiculously cool. 

Also, I figured out [or was told] how to grab josh songs from tinternet. Which makes me happy. Very happy indeed. 

Stoked is the word to describe me today. 

And I really want to make a CD.. but I have no one to make one for. Because basically, the songs I'm into at the minute are all achey, and I don't think there's anyone who would appreciate them. Which sucks. I miss making playlists. 

And I'm wasted.. You can taste it... Don't look at me that way.. 

'Cos I'll be hanging from a rope... I will haunt you like a ghost..

I vastly need to tidy my room. 

I also need to do some land law, eat a load of pasta and stay sober. Nice. 

Right, I should be productive... 

Get on!

Woooo! 

We got on! 

Which is awesome, but means that this week is gonna be mega hellish. Oh wells.. worth it I guess..

It's also our acoustic night tomorrow.. which I'm starting to get nervous about.. So many things that could go wrong.. that probably will go wrong.. ack. It'll be a mess. But that's cool.

FWL's friends are hereeeeee.. so dojos later! 

Also, went to a live music night thing at another college last night, was well cool. There were sofas and cheap drinks and it was underground and there were multiple Ché Guevaras on the wall. Every college has its outpost.. 

Oh the weather is so nice. I'm going to have to find my sunglasses.. [it will rain and get cold now.. just you see.

We've been punting already! Score! 

I'm finishing this now.. Will be back laters.. 

Battlestations

Battlestations taking hold again... 

Hums. Ballot is over.. relax. I have a room. Which is more than can be said for some. Good work college. Good work. 

My lung is feeling very cold. My right one. This is mildly concerning. Mostly because it's coupled with the annoying cough. I just hope I don't have a coughing attack in yet another supervision. It will probably happen though. 2 hours til the next supervision.. Haven't done nearly enough for it. I've just looked at the chapter I'm supposed to have read. 150 pages. Not possible now really. 

Oh well. At least after it's done, I'll just have tomorrow's to prepare for. Then some rowing. Then oh god. I hate this cycle.. the rinsing and repeating is getting old. 

-----

The supervision was survivable. Obviously. 

And I can now rid myself of international law. Joy. 

But I keep forgetting that I still have family tomorrow. 

I feel like my chest is attempting to implode in upon itself.. blegh. 

Do you ever feel like you just want to hang out and chat? Just loaf around.. not really doing much? Maybe having frequent naps?

That's what I really want to do for about a week or so. =/ 

Everything just seems so... I dunno.. odd. I want to be able to chill again. I like chillaxing. 

I think I'll go have a nap. 

~laters. 

Ballot

I hate room ballots. 

Get Lucky

Uuuuuuuueeeeergh. 

Not going near port again for quite a while. 

Just... no. 

Urgh. I have another, another 5k test tomorrow. I very much do not want to do it. 

Rowing is stupid. 

It breaks me further. 

Today is going to be a productive day.. despite my feelings of complete blegh. 

I've already cleared the kitchen of washing up (^_^) and half tidied my room.. 

So I think I should probably tidy the other half, start some supervision stuff, maybe put a load of washing on... who knows? the possibilities are endless. 

Of course I won't get any of the above done. But there's no need to mention that now.

Whee! Cottage+ night out tomorrow! I'm looking forward to it. Although tomorrow is going to be hella hectic... Rowing, lectures, essay hand in, room ballot [oh hell], erg test and then going out. I am going to be wrecked. Oh well. It'll be fun. It'll cement this sickness but it'll be fun. And actually, it's not really any busier than any other day. 

My keyboard is really dirty.

I hope things are holding up. 

p.s new podcaaaaast sooon

Collapsication

Well.

I am well knackered. 

I thought, as usually happens, we'd be done maybe two hours after marshalling? 

Uh... no. 8-5. That's how long I was riverside for. 

We came second in our division, which was cool. It was basically the three biggies and us in the semi. Having knocked out the fourth biggy in the first round. And amazingly.. we got to the final. Yeah, sure we lost. Not surprising.. but we put up a decent fight.. By 'fight' I mean we weren't miles behind.. just a few lengths... *shoegaze* 

And then I came back, was confronted by not one, but THREE CCBs!, had a shower and coooooked some food.. which was probably ick.. but it has made me go all woozy from actually having food in my stomach. Fun times. 

And nows I got some truffle to eat ^_^

And some träsh to write. !^_^!

Port n cheeeeese tomorrow.. funtimes!

~ over and falling out of a boat..

Träsh

magazine... Coming soon to a place near you! 

Or something. 

The pod is casted. It's not very good. It was just kinda left recording for 30 mins. Oh wells. Next time, next time. 

I'm too sleepy to be going racing. =(

And I really like the word valentine.. but not so much the day.. hrrm. 

Laters. 

Ayte..

8. 

8, 8, 8.. if you turn 8 sideways, you get infinity... 

^_^

It's snowing again. Looks nice. 

River is still all funky. 

I did the 5k. Suffered for it afterwards though. My lungs are being extremely touchy.. and I've managed to make my ear go like it does after a plane journey. Unfuntimes. 

We had the coolest lecturer today.. It was so nice to have someone who appears to actually know how things work in practice. My cynical side enjoyed it immensely. 

Hums. 

I hope everything's ok. I like to know the state of things. Even if they're bad.. cos help can be had. I'm a poet, fo'sho it. 

Snoooooow! 

Splutter. 

I Sing, I Swim

Human skin can be hard to live in... 

Arg.

I hate it when mountains are made out of nothing. Did you know that humans can detect a deflection of 1 in 300? 

Apparently, we can. I feel this is somehow relevant. 

I finally got my lamp. I know that nobody else is excited about the lamp. But my eyes are excited. They can see without straining. Good times. 

I think I'm going to have a nap. I have had rather a lot of naps of late. Oh well. Long as I'm awake for around 8.30pm. 

I think I should go to a doctor. 

4r9hhhh

Argh. 

I always fuck things up.

I just want to be decent. Decent. That's all. 

Ache. 

Fake Sound Of Progress..

Ugh.

My ribular muscles hurt. Not the inters, the ones over the top. I can't be bothered to get my colouring book to find out what they're called. 

Had another horrific supervision. I lasted til the last 15 mins then coughed continuously. I feel bad for disrupting other people's education. The parts of the supervision that I contributed to were also awful. =( 

Now I have a presentation to do. Youth Crime. Juicy. 

Halfway hall was ace. After halfway hall was even better. 6C out raving! It should happen more often. It will happen more often. Methinks CCB just needs the right type of music. 

Apparently, I TWOCed a lighter. I didn't mean to. And I'm not entirely sure where this lighter is in my room. Hopefully I'll find it before tomorrow. I've checked pockets and cupboards and fridges. Not in big drawer, not in little drawer. Hrrm. I'll get high on night nurse and then find it. That's how I roll. 

Right. Yoofs. Justice ReMiX. 

Halfway

ZOH MY GONADS. 

Halfway... Half freaking way. 

I want more time... 

There are so many things where I want to be further along/ better than I am.

Bum.

Oh well. Night should be good. Pre-drinks, hall, post 2.75 cocktails, cellar [?], market [?].. Who knows how long I'll last.. Place your bets on a postcard. 

Anyway. Stupid essay to do. =( 

Freezey

I'm cold.... 

Could have something to do with the silly rowing but oh well.

I also feel absolutely hideous. And I really don't want to. This is not a good time. People are visiting, it's halfway hall, I have things I said that I'd go to, and that I want to go to. There are also essays. Many essays. Bleurgh. 

And all I have is lemsip. Freaking lemsip. 

Still freezing. Bah. 

Back laters like.

There's a new podcast be tea double you. 

~over and out

Sidewalk Chalk

Hmm.

My productivity has fallen majorly. 

Someday these cold waters will swallow me whole.. 

Things I want to do today

• Yoink these songs
• Get some supervision work done
• Tidy
• Remember that I have formal
• Find out who owns this misc. scarf
• Make any necessary reparations
• Look up licence stuff
• Podcast
• Sort out my funky eye

Why have I wasted so much of the day already? 

4 and a bit hours of sleep is no excuse. 

Hrrm. I find it strange that optrex multi action eyewash can be "designed for modern living" as it so proudly states on its packaging.. oh well. 

~over until later

Iron and Steel

You make me feel made from iron and steel like no rock nor iceberg could make a dent in me...

 I heart this song.. I didn't at first.. but now I dooo..

I am tired. And I hurt. My eye is funky. My knees keep cracking. I can't move many muscles. It's all a bit rusty really. 

Got up to go rowing this morning.. Was oddly looking forward to it, even after I discovered that my bike lock and lights were frozen.. Only to find that one of the people who was supposed to be rowing has a kidney infection =( I swear there's a curse on this boat club. So we did ergs instead. Which was DISGUSTING. 

I am looking forward to this evening. It should be an interesting combination of events.. Christian talk fun times followed by gay dancing fun times.. Logical. 

I think it's the first time that I've actually looked forward to going out on a tuesday night.. Odd. What a difference a change of venue makes. 

And for some insane reason I agreed to coach tomorrow morning. Bad choice. 

Fix up, look sharp! 

Nowhere's The Place For Me

Hee.

Snow is fun. Yet sore.. My muscles are all achesome from the snowballing and falling over..

Awesome fun though. 

Sometimes I think that they should import snow into warzones.. because snow eases lots of tension.. judging by the number of people who were out having fun and smiling.. 

But it hasn't helped my whole falling apart issue. 'Cos now I have a funky ankle to add to the list. 

And my eye is driving me insane. 

Anyways. I have written a little chunk of the thing that I wanted to, so I'm probably going to scribble it up. And then I can go off into the wee detailed bits as I feel like it.. 

Dear lord I need to do some work. 

~ over and snowed under

Snow!!!

Is AMAZING!!!!

Will update properly later..

Time Consumer

Time consumer, time consuming, time consume me.. 

I am endeavouring to write everything down. Which means that it is losing coherency. But then I guess coherency doesn't really matter that much when the overall collection you're writing isn't about conforming. Hmm. 

Ba da da da daa.. 

I am gutted by rowing =( 

It takes up so much time, and my crew never stays constant, people keep dropping it cos it's going so crap and it's sad times, sad times all round. 

Saving 13C is going well, we have lots of signatures. But I'm still not sure if most of them being from college is going to be a problem or not. The planning office is an interesting place to be though. 

Right. Stuff.. to be done. 

~ over and out

dvorak

So, I'm experimenting with dvorak. It rather confuses me. 

I think it would be cool to be able to type with it, or just to see if it is more efficient. 

Right. Back to qwerty.. dvorak was getting difficult. 

SO. Got an email today, saying that we can't use the jcr for amnesty anymore. Which is annoying. They would prefer it if we didn't use the jcr to meet, and suggest that we use the bar instead. WE TRIED USING THE BAR. We were told we couldn't. And the reasons they give for not allowing us in the jcr are pathetic and contradictory. We can't write letters in there because it's not a 'bookable room'. We aren't even booking it. We're just saying that we'll be in there at a certain time. 

Apparently it's ok for us to wander in and write a letter or two whenever. Which is completely against the whole point. 

What we do is no different from arranging to watch a film in there. 

You know what the lesson is? 

NEVER ASK. 

Just don't. 

What has happened apart from amnesty annoyance recently? 

Hrrm. Quite a lot. 

4 supervisions in 4 days. That was fun. [Don't mention umbrellas] 

I was a dickface. Again. I'm saving this for a scribble. 

H! visited. 'Twas cool. Apart from the pretending.. that wasn't so fun.. 

I feel like I need to write or paint or draw or.. something.. It will take me a while to do whatever it is I'm going to.. I just wish I had the concentration right now. 

Hee.. Went shopping yesterday and bought a duck, a pheasant, a woodcock and a partridge... 

Hums. 

I've lost momentum for this. Need to make a pie. 

~ For everything a reason.

Sour Times

Hrrrm.

I got news of this whole 'let's go occupy a university building for Palestine' thing and, well, it really wound me up once I'd read what the demands of the people occupying are. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for students making their voice heard and trying to bring about change.. but I just wish that it could be done in a semi-decent way. And that people wouldn't just go along with it for the novelty. I mean they've got yoga in their schedule for fuck's sake. Why not do something even vaguely productive? 

And demanding that a minimum of 10 palestinian students get a scholarship each year really offends me. More than the other five demands. Although only slightly. Also their attempt to stop any repercussions against those taking part is.. stupid. You can't just demand for rules not to apply to you without good reason. Of course they shouldn't be punished if no damage is done, but to demand amnesty before any action has been taken is a bit naive. As is the whole thing really.

I hope they don't get very far.  

Anyway. We had an odd night in the cottage last night. We now have a herb farm. And lots of time lapse. Farmacology. We also went through many type of moving images.. brass eye, jakers, 24hpp. Tonight is probably going to be uneventful. 

Argh. I wish I had the time to get into my studies properly. Because the questions I'm trying to do currently [surprise, surprise] are quite interesting and I would love the time to research.. But the three other supervisions get in the way. 

H!! is visiting me tomorrow. I'm not exactly sure if I will have enough time to meet her, but it should be ok.. If I finish at ~4 and she gets here at 4.15.. that can work.. right?

And then formal will commence two nights in a row.  With Burns Night! Whee! 

All the acronyms will be there! Well, apart from you know.. those acronyms......... 

I should really consider dangerous offenders more. 

~over and otherwise occupied

Benriach

AMAZING WHISKY.

Also. Obama day tomorrow..!!!

Mothership, Mothership, Do You Read Me?

Uggs.

As usual, this is procrastination from an essay. 

I have to get it done by tonight. Like 7.30. 

I wrote out what I think I have on each day this week. It doesn't look all that calm. And I know I've forgotten stuff. Blegh. Anyways. 

I did a 5k test t'other day. It wasn't so fun. 

And doing core makes me ache. Exercise isn't so fun. 

I had the weirdest dream last night. It was like a blockbuster based on dairy products. My dad and I were salespeople for some milk.. and we were trying to bring it to America.. So we flew over and were trying to sell it to companies, but the companies kept trying to kill us. And aeroplanes were the normal form of transport. And I really wanted some doughnuts for some reason. So we went to the doughnut place, which was like this big toll plaza type thing.. but I couldn't get any doughnuts because I didn't have the right type of money. And then we had to go on the run again. We escaped back to Newcastle [???] and had some sort of weird board meeting with FWL, LTW, FM and oddly, this boy that I do not know at all in real life, but know of [if you follow me..]. He was being a posh jackass. We were discussing who would drive him home [oddly, to somewhere in nireland.. ] and I wasn't allowed to because my car would be too muddy for whichever street he lived on. Which I disagreed with, because I lived in a better house in this dream. Anyway, following that there was much whizzing about the streets of my home town on a washing machine on wheels.. 

So that was fun. 

I think we still have about 10 pints of the keg to get through. We have to have it finished by tomorrow at the latest... drunktimes! 

Anyways. 

I have nothing interesting to say. 

I wish I did.

~ JANEY MAC that wasn't so fun

Phail

Yeah, got to the doctor's on time and everything.

They'd booked me into their other surgery, IN TRUMPINGTON. 

You would think they would have mentioned this when I booked it with them in the city surgery.. 

"I can ask if he can still see you"

"How far away is it?"

"Oh about ten minutes..."

"Oh, ok, well yeah, if he can still see me, I'll walk up there now"

"Walk? It's a ten minute drive." 

DO I LOOK/SOUND LIKE I OWN A CAR IN THIS COUNTRY? 

100 Round The Bends

Hum. Essay due in less than 5 hours. And I'm reading the material for the first time then writing the essay. FUNTIMES. 

Hee. Makes me think of SM3 [there are beginning to be too many SMs to keep track of.] I like SM3. He's cute. 

Anyway. I am finally going to the doctor tomorrow! I have to miss an sps lecture to do it, but that's probably worth it. Although, in the words of FWL, 'it had better bloody not be the one where he brings along a criminal.' Aaaand.... well, I can't really think of any other successes. Only fails. Like the podcast. Mobile interference, mainly laughing.. FAIL. 

I did a verbal reasoning test yesterday. Surprise, surprise, it annoyed me. And what's going to be the most annoying thing is that I got the practice ones right but probably did shit in the real one. The thing these tests fail to grasp is that I have the ability to reason away anything. Really. To the point of absurdity. I really dislike the 'on the basis of the information provided in the text' bit of them. Because that confuses me. And I don't like being confused. 

--------

It is now tomorrow. Meaning I have my doctor's thing today. Wheee... 

Also, had the supervision yesterday. Spent the entire thing going 'oh god oh god, don't ask me, don't ask me' so by the time the champagne came around I was ready to be wasted. The champagne was AWESOME. I love that man. Then FWL and I headed straight for the college bar, standard. Whereupon we had some hallucinogenic times with some mean in cycling lyrca and then managed to makes twats of ourselves in front of the fresher lawyers. Score. And so the term 'vadger' was born. 

Mo' drinking tonight... 

I quite want to have a nap. Maybe I will. Or maybe I'll watch some jakers.. 

~ JANEY MAC, that's over..!

p.s -  as far as I am aware xkcd only updates on mon, wed, & fri. So there's no point clicking it on any other day.. 

Sea Foam

Another unproductive day... 

I should be doing law, or tidying my room. I will after this though. 

Today's rowing was... ok.. We had races in the afternoon.. I was the finish post. And I messed up. Typical. 

One race had finished following lots of blade clashing, and the two boats had pulled in after the finish line. Then the next race came up.. and one of the boats went straight into the one pulled in, despite shouts to hold it. Bah. I got sworn at. And I feel bad. 

We've been fucking up the river all week. Like seriously, kept getting in everyone's way. I felt bad about that too. 

Although I did fall FLAT on my face in front of two boats. That kinda makes up for it. *cringe*

Typical. I should have known that I couldn't coordinate reversing a bike and jogging backwards at the same time. It was rather funny though. 

Brrr.. My bones still feel a tad cold. This week has been the coldest rowing I've ever experienced.. what with icicles all over the boat and ice forming on my splashjacket. Although I think it is wayyyy better than quite cold and wet rowing. 

Have sent off some applications, FINALLY. But I'm going to get straight rejections. Which is fine, I guess. Should have actually done them sooner.. and I would suck at any interviews. 

Which leads me back to... room and law. Things which need done. 

I want to go hang out with people though. Still haven't decided which nights I'm gonna go out on. 

I wish I wasn't such an idiot.

Frozen Lake

Well almost. The sides of the river were frozen. Apparently it was completely frozen yesterday. 

So I am very cold. And very sore. Because all my muscles have been stretched and rewound funny. I can't row. Heh, and we practically crashed into a boat that was spinning. Smoooooth. 

Problem no. 1) I am hungry.

Problem no. 2) I have no food. 

Problem no. 3) I have a vs form to do. 

Problem no. 4) I have a doctor appointment to book. 

Problem no. 5) I have an entire supervision to do, with an essay. 

Problem no. 6) I want to go to sleep. 

Mmmnuuurgh. 

I have things to say. Things to type, even. 

02.18

I can't sleep. I'm really tired, and I can't sleep. 

Annoying. 

It's uni time soon as well. Which in some ways is good, but is mostly bad because I haven't done anything. Shit, piss, wank, bollocks. 

I've thought of some things to write about though. For voat. They will be forthcoming. First thing has kind of been inspired by my venturing out to a club before christmas. I did that thing where I thought I recognised someone, only to realise it wasn't them. But this time there was an extra level to it. This time, after the recognition, and the realisation, there was still a feeling of looking uncannily familiar. Like a relation of some sort. And then i was thinking that actually, it probably wasn't all that improbable. After all, SM1 was over here.. but nah. So after that I realised that there were things that I don't know for certain about some people, but that I have just sort of have in my head anyway. And that's what I'll be noting down. This serves as a memo. 

I've written all of this without being able to see the keyboard, I'm impressed with myself.. 

2009

Happy New Year! an' all that. 

I'm sure if you're reading this I know you well enough to have actually said happy new year to you via text/vocal chords. But anyway..

How was it for you? 

I always feel slightly bad for the old year, as everyone is always wanting it to fuck off. I'm sure I said similar sentiments this time last year when I think about it, but I'll continue anyway. At least this time I didn't continue with my 'so this is the new year... and I don't feel any different' quotation. Oh.. wait.. does that count? Tradition. Deal with it. Back to my little train track, where everyone is wishing 2008 to be gone already. I mean, yes, shit things did happen, but not really any more so than any other year. And it's not like it suddenly being 2009 is going to make everything better. But I'm all for fresh starts. So I'm very much looking forward to 2009. 

I would like to say I spent it in style, but I didn't really. It was good fun though.  *grin* .

I've still done no applications. They just annoy me too much. It's like personal statements but even more horrific.. Oh well. 

What are you going to do in 2009?

I'm going to... try and be more motivated. And more normal. 

And with that, it's application time. 

A Wolf At The Door

Hums.

I am in A Mood. 

These application forms are idiotic. Like really. They are not clear in the slightest. And these firms are supposed to be legal world leaders. Y'know, law, words, good at them. But apparently that doesn't translate to a simple application form. Bagh. 

And I can now measure the success of the presents I bought this Christmas. 

100% FAIL. 

They've all been returned. 

Well done me! 

I want to be able to breathe properly again. I do not feel up to facing a new year. I don't want one right now. 

jPod

Well, that's another Christmas done and dusted. 

I got some nice things, slippers and dvds and books and etc. I liked the things wrapped in gold paper. They were awesome.

I also like the Douglas Coupland book that I got.. I want to read it ALL. RIGHT NOW. But it's pretty hefty thickness-wise. So that would probably be bad. 

I've looked at a supervision reading list for the first time this holiday. I'm screwed. Totally screwed. 

Need to do applications. 

Need to do supervisions.

Really, I just want to sleep and read. 

Read in bed maybe. 

Stupid illness. Cheers sibling. 

Also have no idea what I'm doing for new years. 

Aaaahhh... work. 

`~ over and out

[i'm totally going to go and have some mince pies or turkey sandwiches... not work]

4.27

just got back in.

the rooster was crowing.

annoyed. 

One Step Closer

Belfast was bearable! Only got presents for the mother though. 

It was fun. 

Sibling is back. And ill. Joy.

Have hopefully got him off of the trail of the jacket though =) 

So it's Christmas Eve tomorrow.. Mild panic. Will probably go to the pub as it's 'tradition'.. 

Tonight, I'm going to see this twilight thingy. There seems to be quite some fuss about it.. but, as usual, I'm out of the loop. Ent been to the cinema in aaages though, so funtimes! Then probably going out afterwards.. I'm less keen on this part, but it should be good fun anyway.. 

Sigh. Still not done the cv. But I have filled out several more boxes on the application forms. Honestly, I really feel like being honest with these companies when they ask for 'specific and detailed paragraphs on why you would like a vacation scheme placement with Schum&Schlaw'. 

I mean, THEY were the ones who posted ME things! They personally addressed me a letter telling me all about their firm and signed it, in REAL BIRO, not some photocopy/stamp job. They were the ones pimping themselves out to me... so what is with them setting this hoop? But I reckon answering with 'I'm dreadfully sorry, I was under the impression that you were the ones who wanted me to work for you, I must have read the letter incorrectly, many apologies..' wouldn't get me very far.. 

Bah. 

Humbug. 

Back Of The Van

Hum.

Christmas is coming. 

3 shopping days. 

I have managed to get one [shared] present so far. 

And it is a wrong present.

I know this. Because it's for my sibling. And everything I get Sibling is wrong.

This present will be wrong for at least three reasons:

1) The wrong style

2) The wrong size

3) The wrong colour

And this makes me sad.. cos.. I kinda like tried. I went into a shop with GUNS in it and everything. 

And now Sibling is talking about finding the correct size/style/colour whenever Sibling comes home tomorrow. Bums. Humph.

And for some reason I decided to open the year old £3 marks and spencer sangria. It was real fizzy. And now I feel ILL. Like, that time I drank about a bottle of wine and threw up all night ill. Eugh. I'm going to stop drinking it now, having had a few gulps. Think I'll have some water instead. 

Right, tomorrow I'm braving B'fast. I know this is a Bad Idea. But Scottish Medic will be there. And I NEED to buy presents. Will hopefully get Mother and BF done. Which will just leave Father. Fun.

Urh? My left leg has gone completely numb. I need better circulation. 

Oh man I feel ill. 

~ over and oots.

Em Ess En

Is not working. =(

Anyway. I still haven't got myself organised to get presents. I suck. Oh well. 

And it is the ickiest weather. =(

CV =3/4 done. Damn my attention span.. 

I'm going to write something lengthy later. For now, shopping. 

Royal Variety

I'ma watching it..

The pussycat dolls were an interesting choice.. and lion king was awesome.. I wanna go see it.. But I'd end up crying or something lame.. The vox group.. naturally 7, very good, cool to see them live ish as opposed to their vids on oootube.

And now it's Duffy. And you can see what she had for breakfast. Fruit and yoghurt. I still don't understand her voice.. It just doesn't sound natural.. But then, I don't know what she speaks like normally, so it could be. 

Now; here comes the conundrum....

Stay watching this, or watch River Cottage Christmas? 

I get really into cooking programmes you see. 

And variety is badly edited.. 

I'll flick. Mulled wine enables this. 

Hmm. Now there's like a 6ft man doing ballet in a tutu. Nice. 

And Leona Lewis covering Snow Patrol. Interesting. 

Anyhoo.. Hee, Armstrong and Miller.. chav RAF folk in 1945. It's brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. 

'It's like racism but against soil'.. 

------

'Isn't it?'

"Isn't it"

'Standard'

---

And now I'm on heroes.. which is weird. I've lost the plotline. 

Argh. I keep forgetting what I mean to talk about. I've been too rambley lately. 

I need to think presents. 

~over and later

Hologram

I'm gonna let you down.. 

Gonna toss you around.. 

Gonna make you want everything you haven't found.. 

I'm gonna hold your hand, then ask you to stand ten feet away.. 

Yeah, I'm on a music kick. What's new? 

The casts have been cast. I prefer the pure music one. 

I got an advent calendar! Doing 17 days all in one go was FUN. 

So anyways. I am bored. I have not finished my CV. Mostly cos I can't remember what I did long ago. Not that it matters. The greyer of the hounds is home after the spaying. Poor thing. She's completely conked on the sofa. Urk. It's dark. Need to grab horses. 

Have some lines..

Take my eyes, take them aside.. 

Take my face and desecrate..

My arms and legs, they get in the way.. 

And take my hands, they'll understand..

Take my heart, pull it apart..

And take my brain or what remains..

And throw it all away.. 'Cos I've grown tired of this body.. 

Take my lungs, take them and run..

Take my tongue, go have some fun... 

~ over and out

Tag

Taggart, is AWESOME. 

Right. Here is a list:

- ryanair

- CVs

- Christmas

- Annoyance

This list is what I will pcast about. When I pcast. Which will be sometime soon. 

I liked being told something. Tell me something else. 

I'm home!

And I got annoyed with ryanair on the way. 

I might podcast about it. Even though I've broken my second pair of headphones/mic.. 

Spiffing!

6

^_^

I have lost my first bet. I may still win the second though =/

Anyways, meeting the sibling was actually ok. I'm still in one piece and breathing in my normal fashion. It was fun going on an adventure up the A14. We got lost, but then we got un-lost. Thank you phone =)

Had a good time reading snippets from Mills & Boon. That never gets old. I still remember the first time I did that. 

So. I should be packed by now. Guess what? I'm not!

Pure shocker. 

Ach, I've got til like 5 tomorrow. It'll be grand. Not. 

Always a panicked rush. Always. 

I should go and do something about that. 

~ over and out

Oh, by the way.. Tell me something. Anything. Just so long as it's something. In the comment box. Anonymous if you want. Just tell me something.

Fast Blood

So.

I have been utterly unproductive. I've filled out one application form. And I haven't finished tidying or begun to pack. I should pack. I'm going to go out after this in fact. 

Hums. I get nervous whenever I think about later. Later, I am meeting the sibling. Not my the sibling. Someone else's the sibling. This worries me. I am not good at meeting people. I have been a dickface to many a [another college] interviewee over the past two days. What's going to happen when I meet someone who actually matters? Bums. I mean. I guess it doesn't matter. All that matters is the someone else. But.. argles. I *hate* meeting people. 

....

Nope. I can't do it. I can't just make a statement. It needs to be qualified. Damnit. I don't hate meeting people in the generic sense. I hate meeting people who I will see again, or that I have to form some kind of relationship with, or who I suspect of being cool and similarly minded. Because then I turn into Twatty McTwatterson. And that's not so fun. 

So.. 

Why are you bored right now? Because boredom is the only reason anyone reads this. And boredom tends to be the only reason why I write it. Bordeom underpins a whole lot of systems, y'know?

Personally, I am bereft of emails. And people. Emails and people, people and emails. Such a modern kid, me. I was getting like 3 an hour during term. Now, I'm lucky if I get three a day. Although I suppose that's good in the less distraction sense. And it means I can focus on the stuff behind the emails I do get. So really, I should be focussing on cushions. 

Cushions are a rare breed you know. The pigmy cushions have been kept quite well in captivity but sadly the great cushions have not done so well and require much more work to source. If needs be, we will have to capture some from the wild; even though this would risk our lives. The wild great cushion has a beguiling manner, allowing you to cuddle and squeeze it. However that is all an act, to lull you into a false sense of security. Once you have positioned it near your neck, the cushion cushes and covers your airways, suffocating you with its downy form. 

And now, back to normal programming. 

Sorry about that. Too much sugar. Or something. 

Anyway. Boxes. Etc. 

I wonder if the medics' pfp thing has finished yet. I should really know this. 

I'll be back later to ramble about something. 

~over and interlude

On The Sly

Hums.

'Tis odd to be alone in the cottage. 

Anyway. I need to see where I was when I was last on this thing. Which was probably yesterday. 

Oh. Yeah, last essay. Well it was half an hour late. And in the wrong format. Which annoys me 'cos he'll probably think I sent it in the wrong format deliberately. I didn't. Just plain idiotically. 

After that I think I stayed up til 2. Watched barristers. Got depressed again. There's no way I can do what I think I want to. Gonna try it anyway. 

So today I went to another college and helped with their interviews, in that I sat in the room and talked to the interviewees. It was quite interesting. I had no inkling as to who would get in and who wouldn't. Well, apart from a few. It's still strange to think that I had to go through that at some stage. Today there were law folk, geography folk, natsci folk, engineering folk and sps folk. Good times. I liked that I was sort of able to hold a semi-subject related conversation with most people. They were probably completely incorrect though. 

This means I haven't done any applications yet. And I haven't finished tidying. And now I should go and get some food for laters. Which I will. Right now. Watch..

~ back LATERS

Sleeping Bear

Morning. 

I am tired. And I don't believe that it's the end of term and that everyone's leaving.. 

I don't really feel like I've done anything this term.. but then, I always get this feeling. 

Anyway. 

The ball I went to on Thursday was good, good chat was had, ice shot glasses were drunk from lots and then played with.. And of course tea and biscuits. That was 3am night number one. Followed by 8 am rowing. Which went crappily. Boat was just off. Which is quite annoying really.. but then we haven't exactly been training for anything in particular, mostly cos we haven't had a steady crew. Muh. 

So then came the second 3 am night.. Damnesty. Was doing the cloakroom at another college's bop. Which was odd in so many ways.. But I think I had a skewed perception [as opposed to perspective]. It'd probably be cool to go to one normally at some point. But I was happy that there was at least one classics student helping with me to live up to the stereotype. 

I still have an essay to do. Has to be done by midnight. So should be fine. But right now I want to go back to bed. So it probably won't be fine. 

Hmm. There are still some people I don't understand. Don't think I will ever get them. Continue to confuse me.

~ over until a bit later when I'm more awake..

Right. Bed time. 

I'm annoyed. 

Joyride

Excitement.

Eight fire engines appeared outside my door. So naturally, I watched. Forget the reading/essays. 

Think it's all good though. Smoke step girl is back on her step, except this time talking on her phone. Oh no, wait, she's got a cig out. Reassuring. 

Folk visited. I think FWL saw them more than I did.. Stupid rowing. Stupid Jesusday. With its stupid weather. 

I was freaking foundered. Firstly, two hours of physically rowing. In the rain. And the cold. And then, after getting out of the boat, two hours of coaching. With cycling and shouting. The shouting totally didn't work at all. I am a shit coach. 

This morning's coaching was annoying too.. other crews kept just barging into mine.. and they were in the wrong. Actually. Because their coxes forgot to do step one of checking to see if the river was clear/allowed the boats to swing out into the middle of the river. 

And I wrote the essay for SAM. And it was over 2000 words which is a landmark for me. I hope he appreciates it. He won't though. It'll be a 2.2. 

I want to have a nap. But I should read something instead. 

Yeah. So, it's the last week. This FREAKS ME OUT. I mean, I know I'm staying behind for ages anyway, but like, next term, HALFWAY. Bah. And I have been atrocious this term at keeping up with people. It's very odd how there are some people that you see every day and others that you see once. It depresses me in fact. The things I must miss out on. Although, there are some people I am quite happy with not seeing. 

Argh.. it's quarter to seven! How did that happen?! 

Bugger. 

~Over til laters..

The Hooks

Meet me at the gates of Hell, I'm on the guestlist.

I am in a dark mood. 

I don't quite know if I'm annoyed, sad, depressed, angry, frustrated or what. 

But whatever it is, it's not all that good. 

So excuse the following post.

My tutor meeting was abysmal. And of course, I'm not surprised. I have been shit this term. But like, argh, I don't know. I wish there was some better system. Or a chance to ask your supervisors some questions. Or actually, the ability to explain yourself frankly.

I would like to tell:

• supervisor #1 that his comments are in no way encouraging. In fact they are probably having the reverse of the intended effect in that I now don't give a flying fuck about the work that I do for him and really don't feel like doing it. Which is really great seeing as I get to have another meeting with him next week. Oh and he's the person who's supposed to write my references. 
  
• supervisor # 2 that if he is going to direct questions in his supervision, and he chooses not to direct any questions to me, he can hardly then go on to say that I don't contribute to supervisions. 
  
• supervisor # 3 that in general, his essay comments aren't that helpful, 'too light in areas' doesn't really help a great deal, and not giving a grade is even less helpful. 
  
• supervisor # 4 that I contribute just as much, if not more, than others in my supervision, and that he was positive about my essay in the comments he gave me, and disparaging in my report. My general essay construction is of less importance than the actual law/theory I'm essaying about. 
  
• And supervisor #5 [the only halfway nice one in his comments] that I wrote that essay whilst falling asleep. That's why it was patchy in areas. And I'm sorry about that but it happened. 
  

Sigh. I know it's because I have an attitude problem. I know this. But that doesn't make the attitude go away. Because every time I try to rid myself of it, it just comes back because it's the only rational way that I can think. 

In the end, I need to know 15 hours worth of law, 3 for each subject. I am crap at writing essays under timed conditions. Hence why I am trying to restrict myself to writing these supervision essays which don't count for anything in an hour. And yeah, I know that's stupid. And that I should 'get to grips with the stuff' by spending ages on it, as my tutor said. But I don't have ages. And I know that that's a shit excuse too. And that I should just learn some fucking time management skills because everyone else can do it no freaking problem. 

Argh. I wish I was able to see some point in trying. As it is I don't. And that's a major problem. 

And I wish I could just get over it. And motivate myself. But I've tried. And nothing. And I just really cannot be fucked. 

I really don't know who the fuck I think I am. Complaining about this when the fact is that I have done NO WORK. And I have produced crap essays. And I deserve every thing I get.  I'm not really upset about the fact that I've done shit as such. It's more the fact that the comments don't seem to be relative. 

Anyway. What I was going to talk about was how I was thinking about the usual bastard emo things and I wondered why exactly people harm themselves where they do. It seems like the arms are the place to go for. And there seem to be a few things wrong with that. I mean, this could all be explained by the fact that the arms are an obvious place, and so it is noticeable and so it seems like that's where most self harm takes place. But.. If you were in a fight with someone, and you wanted to harm them, you wouldn't go for the arms. You'd go for the torso/head/crotch/shins. Instinctively when hurting someone else you go for areas which are different to the ones that you would go for if you were hurting yourself. Why is that? Personally I wouldn't go near my arms/wrists because they freak me out in that context. I always think I'd go for the ribs. I'm not sure why. I guess it's like my various escape strategies.. I don't know why I'd go for certain exits over others.. Just do. 

And then I was thinking.. well, I don't know what I was thinking. 

I just want to go sit in a corner and not do law. 

~over. 

Enjoy The Silence

We podcasted again. 

From what I remember it contained:

• Talk of France
• Working out how to open/close a tin of mints
• Talk of supervision
• Talk of impending dinner doom. 
• General nothingness. 

The best bits are the musics. So really, not worth downloading. Except for the metric song. That's worth it. 

Anyway. I'm hungry. I should probably eat something seeing as I've been up since 6.30 and I have ergs at 4. But I don't know if I can be bothered. I'll probably not get round to it. 

I'm currently trying to write an essay on international law. Which I know nothing about. I thought I kind of understood the topic after the supervision, but apparently I don't. Shocker. 

Urgh. 

Mixing wine, snakebite, cider and whisky in quick succession is not a good plan. 

And you know what I just remembered? FWL and I told our DoS [proper, not interim] about pokemon land law. OUR DIRECTOR OF STUDIES. You know, the one who I always give heart attacks to with the mere fact that I row. *headhang*

I really want to put this work off until a point where I actually have time to do it. Because most of it is actually really interesting and I would love to read all the different disputes over small scraps of rock in the middles of oceans.. and answer this question really thoroughly. But I don't have time. Time time time. Silly stuff really. 

Whoop. 3 hours til my meeting with my tutor. First opportunity to hear what my supervisors think of me. I'm reckoning not much. Huzzah for predicted thirds. Hopefully they won't have done them yet. That would be nice. Then I might not have quite so much explaining to do. 

Right. What day is it? Friday? Friday. I can deal with that. Sort of. 

No I can't. I can't deal with anything. 

I have to write something later. I'll probably implode if I don't.

~over and under

Help I'm Alive

This song that I'm listening to is a most awesome song indeed. 

I like it when new songs become available. 

Anyway. 

Supervision down, essay and another supervision to go. 2 supervisions and 2 essays still to go in absolute total. 

People are visiting me this weekend too. Which sucks. Not because they're visiting, but because I'm hardly going to see them. Oh well. Also not liking the idea of end of term meetings. 

I need downtime. 

So, for some actual news:

FWL IS GOING TO FRENCHLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And we are both going to odd lectures again. GRANDtimes. 

I'm thinking of podcasting again. 'Cos I've started recording my notes and I dunno, quite feel like talking at a machine for a while. I'll see if FWL is interested in a revival. 

Perhaps it's just because I feel like playing around with computer programmes again. I just spent ages playing with my camera and a torch that I got as a freebie. I might go for a bit now. Feel listless.

----------------------------

Yeah, actually, I'm just gonna go to bed. 

I have a decent amount of writing in me somewhere though. 

Haul Away

Hullo. 

1 essay down. 2 + 2 supervisions' worth of reading to go. 

Huzzah. 

Will I get any of them done before tonight? Nope. 

I'm gonna start recording my notes soooon. Hopefully they won't go the same way as the last and disappear just as they were finished. Bah. 

Anyways,

FWL made our first video of second year yesterday. It's probably not all that great. Oh well. It was fun making it. And clearly, if FWL and I find it funny, then that's enough for it to exist. 

Crung! I'm excited. I get dippy things sooooooon! [That's sooner than when I'll start recording my notes; number of 'o's is proportional to level of sooness, don'tcha know.] 

Ok. I'm going to sit and write something proper later btw. I am just giving myself a 'break' from writing legal shizzle atm. And considering which essay question I want to do. Hum. 

Christmas is coming up. "Coming up" being a whole month away. But anyway. I'm not sure what I'm gonna do. It's highly likely to suck. *ponder*.  Going back home in general is likely to highly suck also. =/ . I'll just stay here for as long as possible. Even though everyone else won't. And will be away doing ski type things or rugby watching or some other such fun. But hopefully that bit will be ok.. cos I'll have what matters the mostest.. Guesses on a postcard. 

Shit. Remembered things. Need to write down all those ideas fastlike. Oh book where be you? 

It's silly really. There are so many ideas written down in one line, which haven't been got around to yet. So many pointless characters shamelessly stolen from life. 

Right. Later. Honestly.

~over for now.

Hot n Cold

Mostly cold, to be honest. 

Really, really cold. 

So cold, I bought some gloves. 

Anyway. I tried coxing today, it was ace. I was shit. But it was annoyingly gusty. I especially enjoyed the bright orange lifejacket. 

Next anyway. Our big amnesty thing turned out alright, despite the fact that the main event couldn't happen because of the stupid gusts. Bah. 

I might go make myself some kind of hot drink. hum. 

Family law time. 

Will emo it up later. 

Sonne

Right so. Dinner 1 with Big Law Firm. It was done on a college basis, so everyone knew everyone else and it was nice in that respect. Because we all knew we were there mainly for the wine. Which was disgusting. But free. And we all walked off with a bottle. And yeah, the lawyers themselves were alright.. I guess.. not everything they said fitted together, but anyway. 

Dinner 2 with Big Law Firm. Different set up, in that it was a mix of people from lots of colleges. FWL and I were both there though. At this one, nobody really knew each other, but recognition from lectures was present. Again the lawyers themselves were alright, perhaps a tad more honest. But some of what they said didn't really make sense. 

The major difference though was the fact that everyone seemed to be a little more competitive.. which sucked. Any time someone would mention extra curricular X, everyone else would have to mention extra curriculars Y, Z and 19. 

Which was quite demoralizing. 

And having sat and discussed things in buckystars yesterday, I.. meh. Well, basically, I really don't think I want to go into commercial. Which is what all these firms do, and what everybody does. Well, I say everybody, but not everybody, because the competition for the areas that I want to go into is just as insane. You just get paid less. 

And then I decided I didn't really know what I want to do.. except that I do, I just don't have a job title for it. I mean, does everyone else know what they want to do? 

Most people seem to. Even those in profession subjects who don't want to do that profession know where they're going.. Arg. 

I should really get out of my pyjamas and do something. I'm thinking either filming or writing. Or you know, law. 

~ over. ish. 

Where There's a Will There's a Whalebone

I think I need to go see a doctor. 

I am just a zombie. Kind of. I blacked out for a second in a supervision today. It was really weird. About 50mins in I suddenly got really tired for 5 mins, which culminated in me blacking out for a second.. and then I was alert again. And I kept writing during my mini-black out. Which was weird. 

But anyway. I've been doing this for a few weeks now. And I'm thinking it's not so normal. It could be down to me not eating enough or something.. but I don't think that's it. My method of figuring what it isn't is by comparing to the same time last year. Which is clearly a medically sound method. But yeah, last year I was sleeping less, eating less, and in a bit of a fucked up state. Maybe it was adrenaline that kept me alive. Adrenaline which I just don't have this time around.. 

But yeah, the fact that it's on top of this frikking illness that I've had all term probably doesn't help. 

Hopefully it's just the additional stress. 

I have to go to formal tonight. I broke my usual 3 day dinner out rule last night. All in aid of amnesty. 'Cos for the past few weeks it's been Monday -law dinner, tuesday - formal, wednesday - formal. And it was supposed to be the same this week. But I forsook the birthday formal for the DRC. Sounds like I didn't miss much though. 

I'm having real trouble writing this. I need to see a doctor. 

Anyway. Law dinners. 

I hate them. 

Well, no. That's a lie. It's free good food and wine. But it's just so... strange. It was interesting to see the difference between a dinner where you're just with your college and one where you're mixed up. 

...and, typically, I'm going to have to detail later. Have to go out. 

Islands - Where There's a Will There's a Whalebone

RHCP - Scar Tissue

Minipop - Like I Do

DCFC - Bixby Canyon Bridge

Rilo Kiley - The Good That Won't Come Out

Frightened Rabbit - Be Less Rude

Bad Sects

Hum.

I should be doing land law. Land law. Land law. 

Instead I'm doing amnesty stuff. Again. Who knew successful letter writing would be so much effort? Still. 70ish signatures last night, and all the letters we had. Which was nice. Kind of made standing in the cold for an hour and a half worth it. Now just various events to organise and occur and other ones to plan. Joy. 

I'm gonna talk about these free law schmooze dinners later. Just you see. 

Bugger

So, in formal tonight...

'you know, a song came up on my computer.. and then afterwards it was you talking...'

...

...

FUCK. 

Everything goes wrong at once. It really does. 

16.38

Why am I only back now? hmm?

Christ. 

oh for fucks sake. 

I'm fucking sick of this absolute dickspit. 

Why the crap does this always happen to me? 

ARGH.

SO. FUCKING. FRUSTRATING. 

Covered

Hrrrm.. 

I reckon I just got beat by my own novices.. clearly because they have such great coaches.. 

At least, that's what I'll say... 

6 bowsiders in one boat doesn't work too well. Should you ever need to know. 

I have an hour before I need to go back to the boathouse. Why is so much of my time taken up by this thing? Hmm? 

I have law I need to do. NEED. TO. DO. And yet.. still haven't done any of it. I haven't actually done any work yet.. I'm not quite sure how I've managed this. I'm not sure that I like it. 

Why are there only 3 weeks left?! 

It was open mic night last night.. My friend was really good. I wish it had been actually acoustic though. 'Cos that would have been amaaazing... I'll have to prod them into doing more nights.. all over the shop.. and into recording more.. Hum. Thoughtspark. Better email about it. 

-----

Right. That's some amnestying done. 

I still have to do my application for Firm1. And I have to consider Firms 2-∞. And then for chambers. Oh lord. Chambers. 

Bah. 

Some things I will talk about later if I remember:

-  some random thing I wondered about why people choose certain places

-  being uncertain as to how nice to be

-  making a fool of myself, again

-  my list of broken technology

I WILL be back.. because I have 4 supervisions to prepare for...

~ Over and out

Uh Huh Her - Covered

M83 - Teen Angst

I Was A Cub Scout - Echoes

Of Montreal - We Were Born The Mutants Again With Leafing

The Cure - Just One Kiss

Tranquilize

I would like to be tranquilized right now. It would be very nice to get away from this unending.. well I don't quite know what it is. But it would be nice to have a break.. without time necessarily going on. Because it's going freakily fast. I don't like growing up. I don't like application forms. I don't like not knowing. 

Did you know that in the law fac there is a vending machine? There is a vending machine. There are three in fact. Well five if you include coffee. But anyway. One of these machines vends water. And for two days in a row now I have tried to buy a bottle of water from this machine, and for two days in a row it has refused my last 5p. I don't understand why it doesn't like me and my 5 pence pieces. Or, if it is the same 5p, what exactly is so offensive about it. I've looked at it. It doesn't look like a counterfeit. Everything's aligned, it isn't too thin, the markings are sharp.. Maybe the machine just doesn't like me. I want it to like me. I don't want to make enemies in the law fac.. I need all the friends I can get. And that includes machines. Especially vending machines that vend me things. Things like water. Or coffee. 

I need to go sort out a bid for some money soon.. it's not gonna work. I can't see any space on the form for an explanation of the circular problem of funding.. Maybe I'll just draw a diagram on a post it and stick it on. 

Wheeeeee! I get a lie in tomorrow! Well, 'lie in' in the sense that I don't have to wake up at fuck o'clock to check a virtual flag and then go out depending on the colour. Was out this morning. We are so atrocious at the minute. Still. It was nice to see that people in boats that actually look half decent looked so totally over the whole rowing thing as well. 

arg.. feck. Always get interrupted by the clock. 

Will finish laters

Circles

Urk. 

I may have fallen asleep... for a tad too long.. Let me tell you a story..

Once upon a time there was a girl who was sleeping. Something made a loud noise while she was sleeping. Alarmed, the girl woke up. She looked through the window of all knowledge to find that there was a yellow flag flying. The girl rubbed her eyes and checked the flag three more times before reporting the hue of the flag to a superior officer. It was decided that they would cancel the expedition. Messages were sent round, and the girl went back to bed. A minute later there was a beep, and news of the flag now being green. "Fuck it", thought the girl, and went back to sleep. An hour later and she was woken again.. This time she considered getting up.. but to no avail. Another hour passed and another call to get up. This time the girl decided she would get up.. But promptly fell back asleep for another 3 hours. 

So I finally woke up, panicked, and got myself to the law fac. But there's nobody here. Sadface. Don't know where FWL has gone.. I'm now not sure why I came so long after the time I was meant to.. I could have done my washing. Arg. Stupid body crashing out on me. Having had some sleep is nice though. 

I have things things things to talk about.. I actually do. However. I'm going to go outside to make my phone work. 

~yawn

Swing Life Away

Dang. 

So supervision which was scheduled for Friday? Now in all likelihood going to be tomorrow...

Great. I'm being wined and dined tonight too. Which is a plus.. Don't get me wrong. Just.. urg. 

Wheeeee... may ball tickets were available today... So I have reserved my dining pair at a measly £360. (>_<) I have to pay half of it in two weeks. JOY. It had better be amazing. It should be.. Hums.

Anyway, my plan for the day has been completely cocked up. Today was 'lie-in-til-i-wake-up-naturally-finally-do-my-washing-and-tidy-my-room' day. Not anymore. I went to the pub with FWL to do some of the supervision reading.. only to have a philosophy supervision sit down beside us.. Needless to say, I wish I was doing philosophy. I could ramble on about inductive and deductive reasoning all day. Especially if I was in a pub. 

Humph.

I need to do washing and figure out how to be smart/casual. 

!!!

A leading expert in family law and comparative law agrees with us! 

And has some answers! 

Score!!!

How To Be Dead

If the ecstasy's in the wit is definitely out..

I am dead-like. 

I would really like to just remove myself from the having-stuff-to-do sphere and just chill for a few days. Mehs. Get some sleep at least. I'm moaning again. Surprise surprise. Oh well. I should be doing an essay right now. That explains it. 

It's about offenders and whether there is a typical one. Which there isn't. There just isn't. 

I wish people would stop making em write essays about stuff which I can answer in one sentence. A paragraph at most. Muh. Motivation. If only.

Anyway. This prop 8 stuff.. I still don't get it. Haven't got around to asking Mr. Family Law about it yet. But anyway. Ok, so. Prop 8 defines marriage in Cali as 'between a man and a woman'. Which is... well not fair enough exactly.. but yeah. The problem here is, between the Supreme Court of California's decision and this prop 8 vote, quite a few gays have got hitched. The depraved sickos. Now, prop 8 can't be retro-active. They've said that it won't be retro-active. So what exactly is going to happen to these homos who happen to have lightning fast reactions? They are married. They have to be recognised as married.. because their marriages won't be void.. That's against the rule of law AND what has been promised. 

Someone [generally smarter than me] pointed out that instead of being retro-active it could be futuristic.. So instead of 'you aren't married and never were' it's going to be 'you were married but from this moment on, you aint'.. Which would be incredibly devious. And still doesn't really deal with the issue of the status of those who are married and all of the associated nightmareish documentation.. Or how something which was ruled as unconstitutional can suddenly become fine. Rule of law! C'mon! Just stick to it guys.. 

Right. Now for offenders I guess. 

Tonight should be a good one though. Still not decided on what the plan is.. Hum. 

Snow Patrol - How To Be Dead

Ian Brown - F.E.A.R

Foals - Olympic Airways

Emily Haines - Freak

Donora - The Chorus

The Twist

I feel strange... I appear to have nothing to do today... 

Except that's blatantly not true because I've already skipped the first lecture.. but there was no way I was making a 9 o'clock. Even though I woke up at 7, had a vague panic about thinking I had missed something, and then fell back to sleep. So I could have made the 9, but christ, I wanted sleep. I went to christ's last night. It was good. 

Anyway.

I have a bag of candy floss! A whole bag! and it's blue AND pink. Bisexual candy floss FTW. I am resisting having it for breakfast. 

So yeah, there MUST be something I have to do today. I mean, I have an essay, obvs. Tomorrow is a reasonably busy day I guess.. coaching, lectures, formal up t'hill, film night and.. well, we're still maybe on the cellars front. 

Urk, if I want coffee and breakfast I should get goin'. 

I have a slight intention of writing something decent later. 

~over and over

2.5

I am shattered.

I think I'm getting old. Last year I could handle this. I did handle this, several times in a row. Humph. 

Supervision is soon. Got pathetic essay in at 10am. But it needs rewritten.. at some point before 26.5 hours. Problems with this:

• Lecture 3-4 which I HAVE to go to [see below]
• Setting up of bank account @ 4.30
• Formal swap @ 6.30
• Fireworks
• Purchasing/ posting of birthday card. 
• Need for sleep. 

Bah.

Anyway, I HAVE to go to my family law lecture today.. I go to all of them anyway, because I love them and the lecturer [ok, mostly the lecturer].. but, now I have to go poke his mind about this Prop. 8 business. Yes, I am ACTUALLY considering asking a question. Because I really don't get what is going on, or how any of it is possible. I asked FWL and she echoed my thoughts, but in fancier, more legalistic language. So maybe she'll ask the question. I am shit at making things sound proper. 

I can't remember if I mentioned ergs. I re-read what I had written of my essay last night, it was hilarious. In a thank-christ-i-didn't-send-that way. So anyway. The erg competition was immense. I got to be a twat for hours on end. All of my crews are now fully aware of my strangeness.. I shouted so much I was nearly sick.. Lost my voice.. But damn, it was worth it. I am SO proud of them. Everyone did amazingly well, I hope the three crews are pleased.. Us LBCs were so psyched.. There was facepaint and everything.. We had two shades of purple and some blue. I like facepaint. I don't think anyone else quite agrees with me but oh well.. 

Hum. I have 45 mins to do the rest of this reading. 

FAIL. 

Get in!

Go on Obama! Get in to that whitehouse!

My faith in Americans is restored... and now I want sleep and this essay to write itself. 

12

"The BBC's Adam Brookes, in Chicago:In Grant Park, under the big screen, a group of law students sit with their laptops, studying. They look up and clap as results come in, then go back to their work. So diligent these Obama voters."

so it's not just us... our american counterparts do it too.. wowzers. 

14.5

I have lost my voice.

Except I haven't lost it. I know exactly where I put it. I put it into 16 x 500m. 

Now I just sound stupid.. 

Right. I have a supervision to prepare for and an essay to do. 

Oh, and an election to keep track of. 

~over und out..

51

Let the next hellish 51 hours commence...

Urgh. 

Oh well, at least I've knocked off five hours already today. 51 sounds better than 56. 

And it definitely sounds better than 80. 

In other news, my back hurts. I blame it on the strokesiding. I have also read an awful lot of reports about the BCS and people's opinions on the CJS. YA. RLY. 

American election tonight! I'm excited. Are you excited? You should be. I'm gonna try the all-nighter approach. There will be plenty of folk doing the same thing though so it should be funnnnn! Swingometers ahoy! 

Right. Should go buy facepaint. Will well blog proper later. 

Nobody Move, Nobody Get Hurt

I am halfway through. 

Of course every essay I've churned out has just been words on a page [and not even 1200 words at that] which haven't made sense. But oh well. Only two more to go. In two days. It'll be fiiiiiiine.

There are also accompanying factors of morning outings, coaching, ergs, american elections, possibly going out as usual... sigh. 

I have No Time. 

Must remember brother's birthday. Someone remind me. Thank you. 

So last night was a bit of a 'why the hell' night.. As in I still had an entire supervision to read for and an essay to write and so left the cottage at 1.30pm and didn't come back til 1 am. Cos you know, rowing, then amnesty, then formal, then port and cheese is TOTALLY reasonable. 

And something catastrophic happened. 

I'm not quite sure how..

But it did...

....

......

........

......

....

I joined the conservative society. 

DON'T JUDGE ME.

I was drunk. And I got bottles of port out of it. Actual bottles. So it was worth it. 

Yeah... I don't really know how to recover from that... 

I should go read about victims and those who fear crime. And think about why I care about people knowing things about me that I would prefer them not to. Hum. 

Laters. This evening probs. 

~over and outro

We Are Scientists - Nobody Move, Nobody Get Hurt

Josh - What You Knew Could Not Be Found

Taking Back Sunday - Makedamnsure

Paramore - Let The Flames Begin

The Postal Service - Clark Gable

Josh - Others Leave Home

Foals - Cassius

Robots In Disguise - Turn It Up