Fuckwankbollocks

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

That was ATROCIOUS. 

I'm not entirely sure how my supervisor is going to grade a paragraph.. but he's going to have to try. 

My new supervisor is going to think that I think that insane events follow logically on from one another and can can all be blamed on a devoted fan.. and that I don't think that rape is that bad. Because you know, obviously having glass shards in your eye means that your consent is completely valid. 

Roman guy is going to think I have a complete lack of imagination as I only know one thing about something that is completely of my own invention. 

And consti? Oh fuck consti man is going to think I should be doing sps.. Which I SHOULD BE. 

So yeah, it was as shit as expected. Although I did kind of entertain myself with my lack of knowledge. 

Worst thing was, on the way to the exam I could see people I recognise from lectures... just mucking about with lacrosse sticks.. I want to be able to mess about with lacrosse sticks.. And then when I came out it was all dark.. but the sky was very pretty and it was probably a nice sunset and I fucking missed it because I was too busy staring at a paragraph of non-sensical speech. Grmph. 

[Yes, don't worry, I am aware that this is all my own doing.. but if you hadn't noticed.. I have an annoying tendency to be melodramatic for the sake of it.. which I am trying to lessen down on]

In other news, I think I may start keeping a tab on how many hours I spend in the wig. For kicks. I'm quite pissed that I stayed in and attempted to learn last night when I could have gone out to the 'last' life and got wasted and still performed the same way today. Ballcocks. 

Anyway. Now fo' alcohol and formal. And everyone is probably going to go to a certain club after because it's 'amaaaazing' [it isn't, it's shit] and I am just going to want to hang out. I might just go get drunk on the wall. I like the wall. 

Sigh.. I don't think I like my tone much =( 

Am I just exemplifying what a wankstain I am? Probably. 

When we go down you lost the courage, when we go down you're so ferocious..  

~Over and over for now but it begins tomorrow. 

'I could fill books with what I don't know about law.. In fact, they DO fill books with what I don't know about law... They're called law textbooks...'

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\m/

I can almost see a skyline through a thickening shroud of egos.. Is this the city of angels or demons?
Who knows.. 

Blah. It turns out that I don't work during daylight hours. So Everything is pinned on tonight. Which is shit because I could be out not caring.. dancing in my idiotic fashion.. I wish I could dance properly.. =( ah well. 

Have I expressed my extreme displeasure at my subject yet? Probably not nearly enough. Sigh. Thing is, I do really like it.. I just don't like that everything else seems easier [note: I said 'seems', I am aware that most other subjects are probably more difficult]. What I also don't like is that I seem to only talk about a small variety of subjects.. Law, rowing, complaining about law, complaining about rowing, and complaining about everything. Oh, and what I'm doing now, complaining about complaining.. 

I feel like talking about things like music and how I often feel the desire to just lie on the floor and stare at the ceiling and try to feel the world move. I don't get enough chances to do that. Think I'll make an effort from now on.. I mean I do it in the wig all the time.. so I'll just extend it to other floors and other ceilings ^_^ 

*eats rice cake*

[note: slightly stale rice cake]

I love how my diet just changes dramatically.. Like it goes from normal 3 meals a day to 1. I'm sure  it's not particularly healthy.. especially when the meal can sometimes consist of coffee and rice cakes/biscuits... or just coffee.. Maybe this is aiding my idiocy. Stitch your lips to constrict languages. S'what I should do.. apparently I'm supposed to become a court reporter/law lord.. because my case descriptions are so detailed and eloquent.. eg;

'you know.. that one.. where there were like.. some lobsters.. in a tank.. and then the tank broke and the lobsters all died.. and the guy was like 'fuuuuck' '

Anyway////// I should be doing something. 

I could have a little emo rant, but I haven't quite got the skills up to scratch yet as I haven't been having my regular emo-offs. I am going straight to stereotype hell... I know it. 

Looking at my music.. I don't know how I'm going to get through it. I managed to collect up a lot of back catalogue and now there's so much I don't know what to do with it.. What a dilemma. Never mind that exam thing, listening to music is clearly the biggest problem in my life right now. 

Christ, I'm being sarcastic to myself on a regular basis now. 

Time for tort.

~over and negligent. 

'Dogger! I love Dogger! That probably sounds very wrong in the modern context but I don't care, Dogger rocked!'

L.A.W

Lazing Around doing Wank-all or Lazing Around being Wasted.
That's what my degree should be.

Back from the wigggggggg... It shuts at midnight these days. [but is back to 24/7 tomorrow.. handily in time for exams.. whoop?]

I want to BE an spser. Like seriously.. We were looking at some of their past papers and they were sickening.. If only I was actually cool enough to do sps. Cos then I could do the exams tomorrow.. [yeah I know I am grossly underestimating the amount of work needed.. but hey. My profession is bitter and cynical. What do you expect?]

Are crowds rational?

Is globalization a myth?

Is Russia capitalist?

I'd take those over tort any day. [Wednesday if possible please.]

Asides from that, I am royally fucked. I finally learnt what ultra vires and inter alia means though. Such a dumbass.. Why is it that I don't care right now? Like I want to go out and dance and have fun.. not worry over stupid problems which nobody has bothered being upfront about in over 200 years. [or 2000+ in one subject]

I also have my career sorted. Never mind being a barrister/solicitor.. I can just write essays. You can get like £500 for a 1,000 word 2i essay done for the next day. Actually.. I'll prob still be a b/s [bullshitter- nice coincidence] but just write some 'inspirational' essays on the side.

Ah you know I couldn't be bothered. I hate essays.

Interesting fact; someone searched for 'suckin sally' and got this. GUTTED.
As for the rest of you googlers/other search engines/sites.. well.. meh. I'll reserve opinions.. [not really, cos it's not like anyone ever visits here twice.. [that'll be the herpes]]

Um.. I forgot what I was saying..

I should probably clarify.. I'm not drunk right now. Yes I know I just came back from the library, so there is a high probability that I would be.. but I'm not..

Maybe I will stress tomorrow. I think I probably should.

~over and out the window

'oh that's a wanky law'

'you know, when we have a law library there's just gonna be this massive section of Wanky Law and a tiny section of Meh Law..'

LAW

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS

SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE

Bah

*nods*

Work is slow.. I'm onto s.18 and the poisoning offences though ^_^
Of course, this is in one subject, and I have another 3 to do. In 3 days.
Cuntarded I tell you.

My quotebook is up and running again. If I can write fast enough.. Although most of the time, I'm the only one who finds them funny... ah well.. FWL and I broke in the new term by going on our traditional jaunt.. As it was a special occasion we dressed up a bit [wore a velvet jacket over a hoody- upmarket hobo] and took wine glasses full of port instead of the usual tipples.. It was fun.. People though we were insane and drunk.. which we weren't really. And then we continued our route [had to make sure benchy and death were still there] and zomg! life has been painted! *_*
We also noticed a poem thing.. which is hilarious. I love it. I'm gonna point it out to lots of people and make them read it.

See this is the problem.. I need to work.. but I would rather have fun wasting. And really, now that I've reached the point where it makes no real difference, I just don't care anymore. Because it's going to turn out shit anyway, so I may as well have fun instead of worrying... [of course the worry will hit later on.. maybe..]

I'm dying of coughing. Again.

Oh. Bum. Work. To. Be. Done.

~over and blah

My bones

are so SO cold...
I don't think it's a good thing.
I've been back for 2 hours now... I should be warm... I'm dry.. but not quite warm.. I guess I am basically a piece of meat though, thawing from the outside in.. Lovely thought.
Rowing in the rain is interesting... it's quite fun when you're doing it, long as the boat keeps their spirits up.. but when you stop.. it's ick. Especially when you get out, realise that you're soaked and that this is quite cold, lift the boat to head and then get another load of water tipped on you..
Although it was also quite funny..
Going out for a second time is also.. interesting. This time the rain wasn't so apparent, but the windchill was.. wet+cold air = freezing rower.

Oh jesus, I need to stop talking about rowing.. I'm not even a good rower.. I have no right to talk about it this much.. but it is useful for drinking purposes.. being a boatie that is..

There was a street preacher talking about mesopotamia today... and then something about jews. I got confused and kept walking..

Oh dear.. I should be reading about homicide.. Bollocks. Not the homicide, the fact that I should be reading about it.
I wonder if I can just make up the law.. and manage to make an expert in it believe me.... probably not..

Here's another question.. should I watch the l word this year? I mean.. I don't know if I can be bothered.. I guess I can make people watch it with me though.. if I can figure out how to actually watch it. Hrrm. *ponder*

Bah. Homicide is tempting me.

~over and OAPA

Merrily merrily..

life is but a dream...

_So_tired.
And I have a blister which is a perfect circle. It looks a bit like a bubble wrap bubble... oh dear..
But I won't talk about that... because that would make me a boatie. uuurk. That reminds me.. I need to go buy a ruler..

Hmm.. apart from being very tired.. the only other interesting thing that has happened today is a charity guy making me feel shit for not giving him my bank details and giving £5 a month to his charity... If he had a bucket then I would have given him money gladly.. but I don't know.. he seemed quite.. not aggressive.. like when I said I would look it up online and see the options he went on about how people say that but never do.. and if the charity relied on those people it wouldn't exist.. Which I suppose is fair enough. But I didn't like that he completely disregarded my wish to look it up properly. He also tried to convince me that I could afford to sign up for it now despite me telling him that no, I really probably couldn't. Is it wrong to want to go and think about something and see if it fits into your 'budget' before getting into it?

I feel this raises another issue which should really be kept for another post.

Wall update: there is now a nice growth of stuff on it. It looks better. More like me.

Work update: Oh FUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHCCCCCKKKKKKKK [yes, that's 'fuhck', I feel it conveys the drawn out tone more effectively] Still nothing.

Election update: The Ole Gal won! Interesting. Bring on Super Tuesday. And I already know I'm getting very little sleep next November.

Blister update: Still perfectly circular. Becoming more differentiated from the rest of my hand.

And with that, I'm going to go and buy a ruler.

~Over and laterzz

*bump*

argh... oh dear..
I totally just published that post way too early...

Anyhoo.. I am back to studentville...
Got up at stupid o'clock to spend 5 hours rowing. 'Twas interesting. There's a new bridge which surprised me and left me momentarily more dazed than usual.. So that took up a bit of the day.. and a lot of my hands. Calluses.. ouchy.
And then when I got back and went to have a shower I realised that in order to do so I would have to go to superdrug and buy some shampoo.. I hate that I never really give these things much thought.. had to do the same with food.
Seriously, I am an idiot.

My exam is this time next week....
Judging by the fact that today I have only managed to get through a handful of cases [10 to be exact].. I am well and truly SCREWED. But you knew this already. So am I going to work into the night? Of course not, you know that I won't, you know that I am going to go and play pool and perhaps watch a film. You think I would have learnt sometime in my 14+ years of education.. but apparently not.

I didn't really decorate my room. Just put everything back up that was there before. I think decoration will be a project over this term. Did you want to know that? Probably not. But then 'you' probably don't exist.. cos nobody really reads this.. I'd stop if it wasn't a decent outlet/distraction. So basically.. I can say what I want... even though it is all horrifically boring. I lost all my good traits because I answered mostly Cs in a quiz once. It explained everything.


~over but not really.

Packity pack packed

I think I am mostly packed.
Maybe.
I still have too much stuff. Like a massive box more. =(
But then I suppose this time I haven't actually tried to cram loads of stuff into the suitcase.. I've done it by weight limit this time.. At least I hope I have..

Hmm.. I feel I should be enjoying home as much as possible in my last remaining hours... As if to soak up the comfort while I still can... and watch as much crap tv as possible... Although it kinda bores me a bit.. Hrrm.
I hope there's going to be people back by now... Being the only one in the accommodation is creeeeeepy.. being one of the few in college is creeepy too. But I'm pretty sure there will be people about generally, just perhaps not specifically.
I also hope the heating in my room has magically started working over the vacation. Because it wasn't before.. and it's quite a bit colder now.. And I think people think I'm a bit weird when I wear my hat all the time.. purely for warmth..

Hmm.. I should really make a list of things that I have to do.. before I forget half of them. Ah well.

Have I anything interesting to say? No.
Does anyone care? Nope.
Is anyone reading? Nope.

*does a dance*

Perhaps I will spend tomorrow decorating my room.. after the getting annoyed by travelling, having to carry a heavy suitcase, unpacking, more unpacking, finding food and keeping warm.

I'm not looking forward to having to get up before 9/10 am again.. I like my bed here.. I like beds in general.. Sleep is good... Yes.. Sleep. Hmm.. Drugs first!


ah can't wait to see people again... I can wait for the work and stress and all that crap. But no.. I must concentrate on the fun potential...

pAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRty!


~over and back to the mainland..

Bumf

Yo.

It's packing up time again...
Only this time I have more stuff to take back and no place to put it..
Fun times ahead.

There was something I was going to ramble about.. but I can't remember it now.

I'm ironing.. yes that's right IRONING.. for the first time in aages..

I'll have a ponder and come back and edit methinks.

[edit]
eesh I feel tired.. it's typical that I get colded up just as I'm heading back to stresstown innit bruv?

Some problems:
- I have done no work over the holidays
- I have exams to do which need the above work to be done
- I have not done any exercise
- I have forgotten how to row
- I am going back early for rowing
- I have gotten used to space and warmth and general comfort and food

=/

It's been such weird weather.. well I say weird.. it's not really.. crazy snow/ice and now lots of rain.. rain rain rain. I do like rain.. apart from when it tries to attack me by seeping up my trousers.. that's not so nice at all.

Ok..

So far resolutions are.. well.. yes. Haven't had much chance to keep them yet..
I got a few more:
- talk more
-take more photos
- buy drinks for people whenever they want one [ hmm interesting try]
- do some street art
- keep tidy

uuurk... so much to do tomorrow.. so much to organise and collect and pack into a suitcase. Maybe I'll just post everything in massive boxes. That would work.

This is boring. I am boring.
I want to go dance. Where is the dance?!

~bring me the dance...

So this is the New Year..

And I don't feel any different...

It was a given that I'd quote that, wasn't it?
In fact, I think I said the same thing last year.. Good ole predictable me.

Right.
New list of things to do before I die.
I haven't really thought about it much, so it is liable for revision.

1- Shower in a waterfall [without leeches/parasites]
2- Go to as many countries as possible [20+ maybe?]
3- Learn another language
4- See the Northern Lights
5- Learn how to fall in love safely [if such a thing is possible]
6- Stay in fancy dress+character for a day
7- Get a degree
8- Do something that will be remembered in years to come [either in the history books or in legend]
9- Jump off something tall and not die- experience prolonged falling
10- Achieve pure, unadulterated happiness.

That's all for now.

Resolutions wise.. I am asking for other people's suggestions as all of mine were deemed to 'not really be resolutions'. I mean I guess 'to not make mistakes' is a bit non-resolvey.. as it can't really be done.. If it were up to me I think I'd just resolve to improve. But anyway.. so far I have:
- Dance more
- Be awesome
- Get drunk frequently
- Do something that scares me
- Get a nice girl/boyfriend [that basically is something that scares me but anyway]
- Learn to enjoy courgette [blergggh.. NO]
- Stop smoking [ ? ? ?]
- Wear crazier clothes
- Learn something new everyday [I like this one]
- Develop hardcore beliefs
- Take every opportunity

If I were to add some it'd probably be to stop being emo. And to think a normal amount instead of too much. I also think I should stop being openly self-deprecating.. I don't like it when people think I'm being self-pitying when I'm just being honest. So I guess I'll 'cut the self-pitying bullshit' by just not saying anything.. that works.. yes? Oh and I'm considering forcing myself to change and become a complete socialite. But then.. that's not really what I want.. so I probably won't.

Heh.. there are 8 English people in my house.. that's 7 more than usual. It's fun.. reminds me of uni. Which also reminds me I should be doing work. Oh dear. I'll do something in 5 mins..

New Years was fun, there was dancing and chatting and me watching people get drunker and doing quadruple shots.. goodstuff. Then there was the strangest attempt at auld lang syne ever.. nobody knew what we were doing at all..

meeeeep

~Over and just begun

=_=

Rar.

So the list I found the other day.. My friend and I wrote it one year.. here;

Things To Do Before Death 01/01/04
1-Fly a plane
I'd still quite like to do this one.. I think I'd just like to be able to fly in general..
2-Go sky diving
I don't really want to do this one.. well I guess I do, as it's kind of flying. Base jumping maybe.
3-Go to the Moon
Yeah... this one was kinda a silly one we put in for fun..
4-Fly supersonic
That would be cool.. of course I'd have passed out due to the G-force.. but anyway. F-35B please.
5-Meet someone famous
Kinda done this one. Various band members etc.
6-Swim with dolphins
Can you say 'cliché' ? Ah well.. We were young. And it would probably still be cool. Long as they didn't maul me.
7-Experience popularity
This was a stupid one.. I think I no longer really care.. Just want a cool group of people around me.
8-Fall in love twice
Having thought about it, I'm halfway there. I decided that on occasion 1 I wasn't actually in love at all.
9- Go to N.Z
Another weird one.. this may have been my friend's.. I mean I would like to go to N.Z but this is kinda of surplus to requirement as no.13 covers it.
10-Give out a detention
Haha.. this one is just silly.. but amusing. I think I can say that I qualified.. I never actually gave out a detention but I was able to..
11-Shower in a waterfall
Still want to do this one.. just not get any leeches or waterborne parasites.
12-Go to as many concerts as possible
This one's going well.
13-Go to as many countries as possible
This one, not so much. This summer though.
14-Live abroad for a month
Unless uni counts.. see no.13
15-Eat the same thing for breakfast, lunch and dinner
Hmm.. I guess I have done this.. but only in the one meal a day sense. Not eating the same thing three times over. Hmm.. nah, still to do.
16-Have one day of complete memory
This was mostly for my friend.. 'cos she's forgetful [scary to think she's a medic].. but I think I have done it. Hurrah.
17-One day of staying in fancy dress + character
Oh this would be fun. Defs still on the list.
18-Talk to 5 randomers
Easily done!
19-Learn another language fluently
yeah... Still would love to be able to.. I'll work on it..
20-Play in a band
Kinda done it..
21-See the Northern Lights
Still have to go see them..

But yes, I think I need a new list. I will work on one.

Oo.. today I heard that a couple from my year in school have got engaged..! Weird.. Good luck to them and everything.. but marriage just seems a bit... much..

I've been listening to lots of Deathcab recently.. They did a cover of a Cure song.. I'm not sure how I feel about this.. The cover isn't a patch on the original.. not even a bit of fluff on it. But the fact that they even tried.. hmm.. Maybe it'd be different if they had tried something interesting.. instead of just a straight cover. Not that I have any authority on the matter.. There's son decent lyrics in the rarities though. Well I like them anyway.
I'll be chained to this beast with no chance of severance, because Jealousy rides with me, such a faithful companion no one could be for a journey that leads to the outskirts of time.. but don't worry about me, I'll be fine..It beats being lonely, I'll be fine...

Hmm.. so a new year. Tomorrow perhaps I will ramble about it. Because it's not like I have any work to do. Bugger.

'Cancer isn't funny... but testicles are'

TV amuses me. There are some weird people on Antiques Roadshow. A guy smuggled artwork out of Cuba. And his girlfriend looks like a stereotypical european spy. Wearing a hat, trenchcoat and sunglasses inside.

I just realised that I'm dressed entirely in grey. Impressive. I like grey.
Maybe that's why I'm so insanely boring....

Ha.. anyways. Perhaps a new list and lots of rambling tomorrow.

Paranoia paranoia
Everybody's coming to get me
Just say you never met me
I'm going underground with the moles
Hear the voices in my head
I swear to god it sounds like they're snoring
But if you're bored then you're boring
The agony and the irony, they're killing me...

Love that song..

~Over and off to wallow in music..

Splutter

Yo.

How's it going?
Really.. I want to know. I'm bored. And I miss talking to people. Sigh.

I went shopping today. In the sales. In Belfast.
Joy.
Although I guess it wasn't too bad.. And I did get a lot of stuff.. but I don't know.. Whilst I like the stuff.. I don't think I can pull it off.. [no, I don't mean literally.. ] as in.. I don't know whether clothes actually suit me or not.. and really.. I assume that I look like crap most of the time [because I do look like crap most of the time].. so I think I'm beginning to care less.. and just wear whatever. Which is kind of nice I guess. Why am I telling you this? Probably because talking about sales made me think of the stuff I bought and how I don't know if the clothes are really 'me' and if there even is a really 'me' for them to be. Identity crisis ahoy. Or not. I know who I am.. I just don't know how I come across. [Insert ramble about whether who you are is internal or external].

ANYHOO... I got shiiiiiiny shoes and a dress... and an emo hoodless hoody... and a coat.. etc. Which will be fun to fit into a suitcase.

ZOMG.. I only have like a week and a bit left before going back to uni. This worries me as I have done no work. And I have exams at the start of term. I'm clearly an idiot.. 8 weeks of work ≠ easily crammable. But I guess being back at uni will be good, people to talk to.. the work/exams/lack of comfort will not be so good.. but oh well..

Hehe.. Dara should be live on tv more often. ''I've eaten through my own face''

Yeas. New Year soon. I was gonna type out a list I found the other day of things I wanted to do before I die.. but now I'm tired and well.. figured there's no saving this post.

~ Hugging in a special way...

Boxes

Wheeeeee! Look at me go!


w00t.

Well, that's another Christmas over.. It really is just another day.. but a nice one I guess. I now own a radio. That means that I should be able to keep in one-sided contact with the outside world during term... Maybe.

New Year next... That means I'm going to have to be all reflective about this year and then be all determined not to do the wrong things again next year.. That's too much effort. Although not really.. Seeing as I'm constantly thinking about these things anyway, just on a smaller scale.. ie days/weeks not a whole year.. Hmm. Fun times ahoy.

My brother's gf is coming over tomorrow.. at least.. I think she's his gf.. I mean, she was, but she might not still be. And we've been trying to work it out for months.. But I think it's fair to say that she is. Obviously, because she's coming over. I think I'm high on mince pies. And the hot toddy* could have something to do with it...

*PURELY MEDICINAL - I am plagued.

Heh.. Have you seen the news about that tiger that went on a rampage? Of course you have. Whoever you are. With your googley eyes. Anyway.. Why was the zoo open? I mean, surely the whole world stops on 25th Dec.. and that's why everyone panics and buys enough food for a week, in case the world doesn't start up again for a while...no? Mkay.
I like how everyone is like 'well there was a huge moat and a massive wall'.. and I'm sitting here thinking 'but tigers like swimming.. and can probably climb. I mean, they have climbing spikes inbuilt! Even if they couldn't climb initially, in that enclosure they probably got bored enough to learn..'

I'm gonna stop talking about the tiger now..

I've quite enjoyed the TV that's been on.. except that I've noticed that all the channels have the same films, they just show them at different times. But anyway.. yes, TV has been enjoyable.. there is actually good funny stuff on.. and dr who.. And there is probably time to play boardgames.. yaaaay. Although.. really.. should start working.

Dum de dum.. I'm bored. I miss the days when I could talk lots.

I think I'm gonna stop now..

urk.

Hmph.

Grrski.. I hate people.
Not actually.. I just hate lots of people being really 'busy' and inefficient in a small space. I'm talking about people shopping at Christmas if you can't tell. We had some food and stuff to get today, so went shopping.
Annoyance no. 1 : THE CAR PARK
Right, a mini-multistorey [ie 2 floors]. People couldn't get out of the higher floor and so were just sitting all over the car park.. blocking the people coming in from actually parking.. which in turn meant that it was harder for the people wanting out to get out.. And then there were just some people sitting there in their cars doing nothing.. So I got out of my car.. walked about, told people that there were spaces 'thataway' if they wanted them and then got annoyed when some people only moved forward an inch.. So squeezed past them [probably a bit too quickly for their [and their wingmirrors'] liking and parked.
Annoyance no. 2 : THE SHOPPING ITSELF
So we walk in... and it's hell already.. people are queueing down the aisles.. meaning that it's quite difficult for people who want to get something from the aisles to get it. So I leave my mother with the trolley because I know that if I am left with it I will despair with humanity completely and start ranting at strangers about their hideous inefficiency due to lack of attention. The gathering of food goes mostly well.. and so we join a queue. And halfway through the queue ignorant woman butts into it.. with her designer handbag and trenchcoat.. for some reason I think she also had sunglasses on her head.. hmm.. So we tactfully sort her out and get through all the checkout malarky.. only for..
Annoyance no.3 : CAR PARK TAKE 2 - THE WANKER IN THE HONDA
So.. get to the carpark.. it's still all jammed up.. but I breathe deeply and decide to do what is clearly the best thing to do- be british and get in the goddamn queue and stay there happily queueing. So after about half an hour I get close to the exit, only for Johnny Cockface to drive across the empty parking spaces and pull up beside me, expecting to get into the mainstream of traffic in front of me. Well I'd be damned if I let him get away with such a flagrant disregard for the OBVIOUS QUEUEING SYSTEM [Like really, it went the whole way round the carpark, it couldn't be missed]. So I made sure there was no way I was letting him in. The car behind me [silver bmw, middle aged female driver] had also decided that he wasn't getting in.. and so majorly cut him up after beeping at him.. At this point it became apparent that most of the queue had united and decreed that this man with his prominent sat-nav [if and when I use mine, I do it discreetly.. and ignore the instructions] was not going to get away with being so rude.
There was a real feeling of queue solidarity, it was awesome. That's Christmas.

Those were my main shopping annoyances.. You know how pointless inefficiency pisses me off. I'm sure I've ranted needlessly about it many times before.

Ah TV... there's suddenly good stuff on.. Like Fawlty Towers [don't mention the war ep], Father Ted, Have I Got News For You.. Lots of okayish films too I guess.. Heh, South Park.. I think I'm in an easily humoured mood.. i.e the immodium plus ad.. "When you had diarrhea this morning YOU HAD A CHOICE.."

It could, of course, be the mulled wine.

Hmm. Eve tomorrow. Should probably think about putting the tree up. Maybe.

~over and this post is ending early. lucky you.

mumph.

Yeo.

Hmm...
I got sent revision stuffs.. on parliamentary sovereignty. YUM. Highlighting counts as work, right? If so I have already slaughtered one highlighter and therefore must have done something vaguely productive. I feel quite sad everytime a highlighter dies.. When it just can't colour anymore.. =(
But then the happiness that the fluorescence of a fresh highlighter brings is quite nice.. blinding almost.
I like highlighters ^_^

[break fo' some mo' highlightin']

Haha.. I love some of the sentences that legal people come out with.. "But that is theory and has no relation to realities." They always throw in a sentence at the end of an extremely long and confusing paragraph to render what they've just said completely void... "But that is for another day." I guess that's kinda in keeping with my style. Maybe this is the right subject for me after all.. I haven't been so sure for a little while.. hmm.

I've been thinking. I'm always thinking.. Most times I don't like it.. And I'm right not to. Thinking makes everything worse..!!
I don't know what I'm gonna do about this thinking. Put it in a box and drop it in the grand canyon.. That will become my answer to everything..

I was having lunch with some comrades today.. again.. no news. Apart from the fact that people are routinely forced to wear antlers.. Which amused me.. I hope there's plenty of hanging out time before they all disappear off travelling.. I wanna go places.. I will this summer.. really.. I will.. maybe.. perhaps... If I can find someone to go with..

Muuuaaargggh!

If I just don't talk.. will things get better? I always wonder that.. Like if it's better to be proactive.. or just to do nothing and see what happens... hmm.

bah. I'm sleepy. And I'm not actually being coherent. So I'm gonna stop. Cos no one's reading anyway. Maybe I'll be brave tonight..

~Over and out.

Scene.

Fire.. Love it. And taking photos of it is fun.

So. Went to el slimelight last night. It started off sticky.. but then developed into the sweaty, slimey hole that we all know and love..
AGHGAAAAH!!!
A cat just took my headphones off!
I was just sitting here telling you about the limelight.. and a paw came and batted my headphones off! The cheek of cats these days.

Anyway, as I was saying [I know that I've been one of the few who walks away from you Steven Smith we all lose. One look at you and they're suddenly covered in shrapnel too] the limelight..
IS SO SCENE IT HURTS. Like really.. People actually dress up to go out.. I forgot that that happens. So many people with asymmetrical haircuts and perfectly applied liquid eyeliner and fashionably prepared vintage clothing.. And there were even people with.. with.. HEADBANDS. I don't see that sort of thing on a regular basis.. Probably because I'm a skank.. but still.. The only time I saw that level of scene whilst I was away was at a Robots gig.. where it's kind of expected-ish.
Seeing people that I had forgotten existed was a bit strange too..
But it was nice to be back embarrassing people with my stupid shitty excuse for dancing.. Someone wanna buy me some skill for christmas? anyone?

In other news, we have a ladder for stairs. It's an interesting arrangement. I also have a lot of swedish furniture to put together. But I'm going to drink this cider first. Because DIY goes better when drunk.. if you're me at least anyway. Yeaaaah. I also have just the teensiest weeniest feeling that I have been lied to. Which is always nice. Oo, there's an environmental journalist on the Daily Show.. Plastic eating microbes... yum. Apparently there have been no major happenings here during the past 10 weeks.. Disappointing. I thought somebody would have done something interesting.. but seemingly not. But it was decided that I do have more work and worse accommodation than the people at uni here.

The Secret Millionaire is using Bat For Lashes... interesting.

Instead of trying to find new music to listen to, I have decided to just go and listen to all the old music that I haven't listened to properly in a while.. So I'm having fun having little fests of music and getting back into it all..

Right.. I can't put this furniture off any longer.. might edit later.. might not.. bet you're on edge.




not.



~over and up the ladder.

[edit] So it's taken me.... uh.. well it's 22.41.. so however long to construct a wardrobey type thing and two under bed storage boxes.. I suck. =(

Oo er..

I went to Ikea today. I feel as if my life has been abducted for 3ish hours. It would have been fine if it had been only me going to get stuff.. but I was not alone.. So it took ages..
Here is what I learnt:
- Belfast's Ikea is the biggest in the UK.
- Ikea's flat pack trolleys are fucking awesome for zooming around the aisles.
- Now that I'm an 'adult' nobody bothers to tell me off for zooming about the aisles on said trolley. Instead they look on with envy [more realistically, disgust].
-Swedish furniture can be extremely tempting.
-Instead of paying for a measuring tape from John Lewis, nest time I can just find the nearest Ikea and get a stack of free paper ones. And lots of pencils.
- IKEA STEALS YOUR SOUL

Gah. Am I the only one to be annoyed that a perfume as is using the yeah yeah yeahs' music? I mean, maybe it would be ok if the perfume was cool, but it's called 'elle'.. that's a girly mag, not a rocky edgey fragrance.

I have a decision to make when 9 o'clock swings around. Do I watch A) The Omid Djalili Show B) Have I Got A Bit More News For You or C) Bones ?
Last time I watched A, I saw Omid's testicles. =(
B is probably a safe bet.
C means I have to try and forget that David Boreanaz is David Boreanaz.
Ok.. well.. my decision has magically made itself. A isn't on til 9.40. C is one I've seen.. B it is. Although hmm. Richard of Judy fame.

Ooo.. sweeney todd! That'll be fun.. Adventure to the cinemaaaa. I have to go see the golden compass and st. trinian's too.. but before going back to uni.
My laptop is creaking... That's worrying, right?
In future I must have some sort of plan for posts. Hehe.. I'm loving this stand up.. and this multi-tasking sketch..

Hmm..
Eleven Things:
1- I'm bored and can't think of anything to type about
2- Why do things [animals and people I guess] look so sweet and calm when they're sleeping? unless they're doing that crazy thing where their eyes are still kinda open.. eek.
3- Why do I get distracted when I play tetris and try to get the lowest score possible/ make the prettiest pattern with the blocks?
4 - I'm going insane. This has now been confirmed.
5 - People are always leaving. I don't like it.
6 - I think I must be antisocial, and crap at being social.
7 - What's it like to fall a really great distance? Does time do that funny thing where it slows down? or does it speed up and before you know it you're splattered on some solid surface? Perhaps I should ask someone who's done a parachute jump. Which would be three of my friends. Handy.
8 - I have really shaky hands. My mum thinks I have Parkinson's. Or have fried my nerve endings with drugs. But really, I just have shaky hands. I can make my fingers twitch involuntarily.. ok I know, paradox [the english term, not the person], but not really.. in that.. I can sort of.. make it start but then have no control over it. I'll show you sometime. Then it'll make sense.
9 - I would quite like to study other subjects. And sometimes I wonder if I made the right choice.. because a lot of other degrees look like muchos fun. Maybe I could be an eternal student.. just getting degree after degree..
10 - I don't understand dreams. Like.. they're in my own head.. so.. like.. shouldn't they be nice to me? and shouldn't I be able to have some sort of control over them? And be able to tell what was a dream and what was real life?
11 - When I think about things like no. 3,4,6,7,9,10 I sometime think there may actually be something wrong with me. Like I'm schizophrenic. But then sometimes I think I'm a hypochondriac. Who's correct?!

Well, that's filled up space at least.

I will come up with a concept tomorrow.

~over and goodnight.

Cults...

Yo.

Cults eh?
Watched that programme about the 'End of the World' cult last night.. And y'know.. it made me think about cults..
And cult. I can't decide if I should take a look in there or if it will just piss me off with its overpriced, overtrendy wares.

Sidenote: It is interesting, that when there are builders jackhammering the walls around me, I am actually more productive work-wise, then when there aren't... Explanation anyone?

Back to the subject of cults:
So if you were going to start a cult, what would your..uh.. rules? ideology? [cheesh.. I can't even think of what the correct term is..] be?

I haven't thought about this a lot.. Not on the same scale as My Super Duper Über Fort anyway.
But y'know I like to think I'd be reasonable enough not to predict The End Of The World within my lifetime. And I wouldn't be all creepy..
I'd have fun prophecies/rules.
Like.. we'd like shiiiiny things. And have frequent parties/music-listening-to-sessions/film watching. The general principle being to just loaf around and have fun.. The money to fund it would come from a.. uh.. hmm.. Somewhere. It would come from Somewhere. Definitely.
Main beliefs? Hmm.. To be nice to people and have fun.. just interacting with people.. y'know.. 'cos that's nice.. That probably stems from my like for sitting watching people.. like when you're in a cafe or something and you can see the people on the street.. And also that I love just hanging out.. There might be a slight problem I guess.. in that there would need to be some new people every so often.. so that the group didn't get bored and annoyed with each other.. but then.. the group couldn't be too big so that people didn't get to know each other... hmmm. Mathematical equation needed.

There would be cool nicknames too. And dressing up. And shiny things. And lots of messing about. But no pressure to do any work.
So actually, it would basically be university except with no need to do work [it could be done if you felt like it though] and with nicer facilities [paid for by the money from Somewhere].

Rar rar rar..

Brian Wankum. What a name.

Hmm.. The noise and dust is back so I'm gonna go be productive.. perhaps...
I'll get bored though and probably come back.. not that anyone cares. bah.

~over and bah to you dust!

Dude..

What day is it?
Tuesday?
I gotta get back into this keeping track thing. Like really.

Dum de dum..
I watched muppet christmas carol the other day..
Didn't make me feel overly christmassy.. think I am becoming a bit of a scrooge. I like certain bits of Christmas.. like the family time and mulled wine/cider etc. just not the rest of it.. ah well.

Oo.. I went to the doctor's the other day. He made my head light up like a chinese lantern. It was annoying. Blinking didn't make it stop. Apparently it looked really cool though.. Wish I'd taken a picture.. =(

People are going to start coming home soooon ^_^
But I really gotta start working on the ole law. Stupid exams. I can't decide on which level of stress to operate. I can stress myself out mega-easily if I think about the right things in the right contexts. But for now.. manifesto!
I think perhaps why I've been so strange lately [as in above the normal level] is 'cos I haven't been doodling enough to satisfy my emo side.. makes sense.. yeah? so anyway..
How does one go about drawing ducks?

WTF??!
THAT IS NOT WHAT THE CHIPMUNKS LOOK/SOUND LIKE!!!
gargh.

Is it wrong that I like that hoosiers' song? the one about being worried about Ray? It reminds me of the lemonheads' song.. simply because of Ray. He gets around a bit dun he?

Hmph. Why can't I decide who to trust?

Happy Tuesday..

Withdrawl

Addiction sucks.
Well, actually, it's not so much the addiction as the withdrawl..
I mean, I guess addiction does suck in that you become reliant on something and you can't guarantee that it will always be available. But whilst it is there, everything's great. Once it's gone and you have to go all cold turkey then it really freakin' blows.
And really I don't know what I'm talking about. But meh... Do I ever?

F.I.R.E.I.N.C.A.I.R.O

Yeah so, withdrawl..
When you decide to give up is there more of a conviction to do so? Like, because you have made that choice is it easier to just cut whatever out? I suppose it must be. And it probably depends on what you're cutting out as to how much will power is needed. Hmm..
And then.. when you don't make that decision.. is it harder? Because you hadn't prepared yourself and thought about it... I'm just talking crap aren't I? oh well. Just let me ramble for a bit further.. Because right, I accept the situation, really, I do. And most of the time it's okay and I'm cool. But then I just have these moments where I miss it majorly and I hate it.. I hate not being able to forget about it and get over it as quickly and as easily as everyone else can. I hate that despite the fact that I know the facts and can cope most of the time, there are still times when it gets to me and I revert back to my old position of not understanding.. I don't know what I miss exactly.. I guess I miss fooling myself into thinking that I was worth something..Or that sense of safety.. Or just generally, really.
But then of course, a little while later, everything's back to being ok again.. and I'm all grand.
Going back and forth sucks.
And I don't even know what exactly I'm complaining about. I'm just complaining! okay?!
Maybe it's just because I suck. And can't cope with cutting something out completely.. dead..gone.. zilch. But then.. I can kind of.. It's just when I realise I've done it that things go wrong.
And also when I remember that anyone else affected is completely fine and cool 24/7 and no longer cares about it... I mean, I don't know what I actually expect.. Nothing really. When I actually think about it. People are better than me, why wouldn't they get to 100% and just move right along? [and good on 'em, I'm happy for them]. Instead of my method of slowly recovering and maintaining a level of maybe 95% for a while. There are way more infinitely awesomer and more fun things out there, so why not get to them asap? Do I really expect people to actually care/be affected in any way? Because that really would be stupid of me.
None of this is my place..
I don't know why I'm bothering to type..
I have everything sorted in my head. Just about. I just have moments. Moments where I'd like to talk about it with someone relevant.. but that isn't really possible. Even if it was possible, you know I'd just go and fuck it up even further than I have done thusfar. Without meaning to at all. Because I do accept everything... I get it. I just.. don't know. For some reason it niggles me still. It'll stop soon, I know it will.
Perhaps it's just because I'm a loser. I think that pretty much causes and explains everything.

Don't get attached to life...

Sigh.. I guess it was the associated stuff that I wasn't prepared to have to go without. But I do have to.. for now at least. And it sucks. And maybe it will get better. Following this, it possibly won't. Although yeah, really, this will make no difference. But then I guess that the associated stuff belongs to someone else now anyway. I just... gah!

Bluuuuurgh.

I don't know what I'm getting so caught up about. There isn't anything to get agitated over, and nobody else even considers it.

So basically this was a waste of space, and I am fully aware of this fact.
I apologise for making you endure this..
I will be back to normal in 5 mins. You'll see.

~over and I promise I'm not a psycho.

Urk

I'm sort of doing a podcast.
But it definitely sucks.

So..

=/


Yeah. Probably not going to be published.
Yay for your ears!

[edit] bugger it.

Hah.. I am so not spending my saturday watching Dog the Bounty Hunter... oh.. wait.. yes I am..

Actually, that's unfair.. I have been productive despite it being the SHITTIEST day weatherwise. I've been out, navigated several mini-lakes, got a new airport express, food, newspaper, sorted out the animals... and really there's not a lot else I can do.. So Dog it is. If it were a weekday it would be Without A Trace, Bones, more Bones and that town called Eureka thing.

[...]

I spoke too soon.

The postman just arrived with my books.
And Jesus!
They're bloody heavy.
Now I guess I have some work to do.
Awesome.

~over and there is no way I am going outside again.

I don't know why I'm posting that now.. When I'm home.. And don't have to drink coffee come 1.30 am.
But oh well.
Besides, it won't even work because I bet it won't be the right format...



I'M HOOOOOOOOOOOOOME!!!!!

And The Good Life are fucking awesome and Tim Kasher is a genius.
Like really.. I just love his lyrics.. This post may contain quite a lot of them. Just so you know.


Questions:
WHERE IS THE CORRIDOR?
Why do most doors open without the use of a corkey?
Why isn't everything I need within arm's reach of my chair?
Why isn't everywhere I want to go a 2 min walk away?
Why aren't there people about to chat to?
Why isn't there lots of law and legalese RAPING MY BRAIN?
What is this thing I do at night.. where I lie still and am unproductive for hours and afterwards I feel refreshed?
What is this box with moving pictures in it?
Why am I sitting in a chair which is really quite comfortable?
Is it wrong that I find the spice girls' tesco advert quite funny and good?
Why does the washing machine actually make my clothes properly clean?
Who the hell are all these people in neighbours?
Why does food magically appear?
Why does nobody seem to care about how many pans/plates/cutlery cooking will use up?
Why is the shower actually nice?

I'll stop there...

I can hardly stand... much less the sight of myself..

I think I'm gonna have a rest for a few days.. until my books arrive.. and then I'll work.. really. I will. Yes. So much to do it's unreal. Basically the whole course over again. =(
Sometimes I wonder what happens at other universities.. if people complaining of lots of work really have that much.. I guess they do.. bah, everything is a myth.

Hmm.. I kinda wish I lived on the mainland.. it would make visiting/hanging out/catching up so much easier. I know there's quite a large norn ironish crew though but..sigh.. I miss the bridge. There's so much to do there, so many possibilities. Although nowhere near as much comfort and homeliness as home. I think I need a cross between the two.

Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaar!

Your eyes can't disguise it.. so glassy, half empty.. ready to spill..

La de da.. Tim Kasher! Right there! With his awesome voice! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Not at all bad for £6.50. =)

It's different when you're lonely... the whole world's in love.. holding hands between bar stools.. and you're holding your tongue.. [the background noise over this bit is nice. I like it.]

Hmm.. imovie is a bisnitch.

ZOMG!!!
Roast duck.. and and AND.....



GRAVY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So excited.


Is that wrong? probably...

Arg. Will fix this shit up later... Apologies.. I can't write interesting things.. You know that. Right?

~over and mmmm... duck....

[edit]

The duck was damn good. There was gravy and stuffing and roast potatoes.. proper home style. I'm so gonna do a roast dinner next term. I know it's possible in my gyp room. I've seen it.

Seriously loving the good life again. I think I need to allow more time for music in Lent. Mwah ha. Watch me come up with a master plan of how I'll do all these things, and then watch me not do them.

I think there are googlers again. I don't like them. I don't understand why they are here or what they want. I like having about 2 people look at this once a fortnight. Explain yourselves!
Although how gutted must the person searching for 'fucked up at netball' have been when they found this? heh.. No porno for you. GUT-TED.

I am missing the bubble majorly. It keeps me distracted. Nobody is here. I want to catch up with everyone but no one is available to talk. And anyone that is won't want to. Woe is me. I'm such an emo loser. hah.

Somebody advise me on some new music to listen to...? please? I have 6 weeks to immerse myself.

Baaaaaaaargh! I'm bored! somebody say something!

Packing

Of the putting stuff in boxes variety thankyouverymuch..

Eeek..
How the hell did I inherit so much crap over 8 weeks?
Like really.. It's insane.

What's more, how am I going to make it 15kg? there's just no way it's happening guys.

I suppose that packing should be quite a reflective activity really. Like, the symbolism of packing your effective life into boxes, suitcases, whatever. Seeing what you've gained [a whole load of shit in my case] and so on.. Giving you time to think over the little chunk of your life that's just gone by..
It's weird to think that my first term of uni has just happened. And I'm not entirely sure it was what I thought it would be. Like it's totally awesome, but like, I only have 8 more terms left ever! and if they all go this quick... I'll be a slave to a corporate machine in no time =(

I wonder how much space everything that matters to me in life would take up. How small it could be compacted with the proper arrangement of item, which combinations are most spatially efficient etc. And what size and shapes concepts would be...
Speaking of which.. did I tell you about Crazy AIDs guy? [CAG] He doesn't have AIDs, and he probably isn't crazy, just ignorant. [NB Crazy AIDs guy is different to AIDs guy who doesn't have AIDs either but is actually very nice.] So anyway, FWL and I were out in the cold asking people to Stop AIDs, as you do. And I do the whole 'would you like to stop some AIDs today?' and CAG walks over and says, 'I think the whole thing could be stopped with a little abstinence', which is fair enough.. I then pointed out that in an ideal world yes, but realistically, once someone has AIDs it's probably going to be passed on..So drugs are needed.. He then went into this big rant about how we 'encourage pro-AIDs lifestyles' [at which point FWL said aside, 'you mean life in general..'] and how he doesn't mind people 'feeling that way' but they 'shouldn't act on it'.. At which point I wanted to shout at him really badly. Anyway, on to the crazy bit. He then said, 'Did you know that if we took all the human beings in the world and put them into a box it would be a mile long, wide and high? And then it could be dropped into the grand canyon and forgotten about'
We were just like... W....T.....F.....? Then he left.. And being lawyers, we then had to point out the flaws in that plan [as well as his earlier AIDs argument].. such as, who would operate the crane dropping the box? and it couldn't be forgotten anyway because there would be no one left to forget.

Ahem, yes anyway.. that was a bit of a tangent, although I meant well.. basically to introduce the theory of all humanity in a box. Picture it.
Do you think it would make a good photo?

In other actual news -
I managed to gain a bow tie, antlers, a red nose and quite a lot of red face paint during the course of last night.
And an award for "best game face".
I've injured myself again. I keep doing it in such unexciting ways. This time a very drunk boy fell full force on my knee.. which dutifully made a strange noise and now doesn't like to bend too much.
Also, we did ok in that rowing thing.

In case you hadn't noticed, I think I'm becoming even more vague and abstract. I'm probably not. I'm probably just talking crap. In fact, I know I'm talking crap. And yet I can't help asking myself stupid questions and letting my mind wander on from there..

Like why do I care about things which are none of my business? Why do I voluntarily expend energy on them? It doesn't seem to be stoppable. And there really is no point in it. *eats a caramel square*
Yeesss.. the moment of realization of being worthless.. that's what does it.

Roar.

This is why I shouldn't have a blog.
This is why I shouldn't think and/or exist in general.

This is why I need to go pack away my life.

~over and boxed up

[edit]
Now that I have had my meal of the day, I feel like telling you another Stop AIDs story. This one is entitled, 'The Crazy Communist Lady'. You probably won't find it amusing.. But I'm going to tell you anyway. Because that is how I roll, had you not noticed by this point.

The Crazy Communist Lady
Once upon a time, there were two waster lawyers [WLs] who enjoyed the pursuit of stopping AIDs in their spare time. On one occasion, in the freezing cold, when the WLs were stopping AIDs in its tracks as well as making up AIDs versions of popular songs, a lady in a red coat happened to stop by the stall. The WLs asked her if she would like to stop AIDs. She enquired as to what exactly the scheme was. When she was told it was about relaxing laws so that generic drugs could be used, the first opinion was made known. "Oh, I read in a study that over half of generic drugs don't actually do anything. So I don't think I'll sign." The WLs did not give up however, and mentioned that parhaps co-operation with drug companies would be a good step if she wasn't keen on the generic drugs. CCL then mentioned that she worked for the NHS and that we should believe everything we read in the papers about them, bullying is rife and she is going to leave the country. "Very nice" say the WLs. The conversation moves back to the current government.. at which point CCL sees fit to lean over to MajorWL and whisper conspiratorially "the problem with this government is it's full of capitalists.. Marx was right wasn't he?" MajorWL half agreed in that lawyerly way, stating that Marx did make a lot of sense, but in practice it didn't often work out so well. "Yes, but that's because everyone is so greedy". Well done dear, well done. At this point, MajorWL thought it would be a good idea to try and lighten the mood and finish the conversation, what with having AIDs to stop and all. Unfortunately MajorWL made the mistake of commenting jokingly about being nearby to King's with its left-friendly attitude. "Terrible place, elitist and founded by one of the worst capitalists in history... Henry VIII." Whilst taken aback by this, MajorWL tries to keep the conversation up by remarking that Henry VIII was 'quite a character'. "All of the problems with this country can be traced back to him. A lot of them are his fault," again, stage whispered. MajorWL could only nod and say that yes, she supposed they could all be traced back but maybe things will change in the future.
CCL signed the damn petition.

The End

Eek

¥o.

I am alive.
I think.

... I still have an essay and a supervision to get through... and they're in different subjects which suxx..

I crashed out last night.. it was fun.. I woke up randomly to people singing Reef - Place your hands, which was nice. It was one of those surreal real life merging into dream moments.. Crashing out meant that I didn't get to do my normal go out, come back, get two/three hours sleep, get up and go rowing still drunk/hungover routine.. which is probably a good thing.. I guess.

Gah.. I have made a major commitment to rowing.....

. . .

I have ordered the lycra.

*feels sick*

Hmm.. I'm finding myself wearing my hat a lot this weather.. wearing my hat makes me feel better. I love this hat. It's a good hat. It's my rave hat, my emo hat, my dutch scientologist hat.. I could go on. But yes, sitting in my room reading about roman law is much better with a hat.

ZOMG this Phoenix Wright case is insaane..

Anyhoo.. I'm going home on Sunday.
And I'm still kinda unsure about it. Like I really want to go home.. but six weeks is a long time. And I don't know what I'm going to do in that time apart from work my ass off to do everything I should have already done and more. And I don't know.. I mean, there's plenty of visiting to be done which will be fun and distracting.. but I think that everything is gonna hit me when I get home.. and I won't know how to deal with it. bah.

But but.. the good life! the day i get home.. yayness!

For some reason I agreed to go to some of my friend's lectures. And I felt quite proud that I know more medicine than she does.. and she's actually studying it. I mean, imagine not knowing what avascular necrosis is! madness!
*rolls eyes*
This place has turned me insane.

Aaanyway.. I have law to do.

And a christmas formal to go to. crackers! tinsel! awesome!

But ergs before then =(
Coxing is the way to go.. they get off easy.. no lycra.. no ergs... just the whole having to steer, keep everyone in time thing...

argh... whhhhyyyyy do rowers have to wear lycra? I mean, yeah the good ones can pull it off no problem.. but I will just make people throw up. maybe that's the tactic.

So yes.. how's life elsewhere?

~over and oot

Ill

Bleurgh.

I had to go and get ill didn't I ? And I couldn't have done my essay before this point could I?
Bah.

My lungs hate me.. and I couldn't stay in the library because I was making too much noise, with my weezing and coughing and spluttering.

That's what I get for trying to stop AIDs.

I really want to sleep. Oh well.

I'm going home in a week. This scares me.
I seem to think that once the first term is finished, everything will stay the same for the next 3 years.. which is bullshit.. but I think it anyway. Which means I'm all panicky =(

I don't like panicking..

[ . . . ]

Well that was the shittest essay I have ever done. Oh well. It was my first problem question. And I have no idea how frequently cases involving fire eating chainsaw jugglers come up.. but I think I will avoid them like the plague.

Which I should have done with this current plague that I have. Rowing is gonna be hella fun with it now that it's actually settled in for the long haul. baaaaaaah.

I was going to blog about interesting things.. but now I just want to sleeeeep. So I hopefully will.

I will return for more essay-complaining hijinks soon no doubt. Like tomorrow. For the next essay deadline.


~Over and night..

[edit at 02.53] FUCKING FUCKING FIRE ALARM. MERGHJSDGHRFWKJ

[edit at 03.30] BLODDY FUCKING TWATCOCK FIRE ALARM BASTARD CUNTFACE A;IHGAER;KLGHJ08GHIPRWHIOWADKS .MNNB;Oewfh'

Crisis number.. Lots.

I am going to chart this crisis.
I forget how many I've had... but it's been a fair few.

So..
Supervision on Wednesday. [20 cases]. Essay for Sunday.
Supervision on Thursday. [7 pages of cases/articles/questions etc]. Essay for Saturday.
Supervision on Tuesday. [30 cases]. Essay for Tuesday.

Now I know that doesn't sound bad. And I guess it isn't really.. I mean.. The reading lists for two of the supervisions are a lot shorter than normal.. but one is MASSIVE.. and that's the one I made a twat out of myself in last week.. So I kinda have to start.. Especially seeing as everyone else has done the Wed. reading and essay already.. and a few have done the essay for Tues.

I hate people who actually work.
Me and FWL [fellow waster lawyer] have waaaay more fun. Like today, we were talking to some sixth formy applicant people.. And I think they were shocked/disgusted by the amount of work we don't do. Although to be fair I did come in sit down and get out the DS and start playing Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney in front of them by way of introduction.

Anyway.. reading to do. I have my mini caramel mega-sex squares.. So I should be ok. I may end up in the law library again in my pjs. That was a fun time. Pissed. On the floor. Of a library. In pyjamas. Stylish. As you can see.



Start Time - 17.38

[17.49] I already don't understand. =( Gonna be a looong night.. And I'm probably going out tomorrow night.. Although hopefully last week's events won't happen again.. that was just strange. Baaaah. Right. I will make sense of this judgement. Just you wait and read...
You may be waiting a while.

[18.24] Ok. Wtf are 'chattels' ??! Like really, who uses that word? It's nearly as bad as 'preclude' although not quite.. because preclude is everywhere.. whereas this seems confined to something about stamp duty.
Seriously, what's wrong with 'prevent' ? Hmm?
And in the case of 'chattels', what's SO bad about 'items' ? huh? huh? tell me. Tell me now.

[20.35] Well.. That has been fun. I've been productive.. just not on the work front.. Had a chat with the porters.. reported the non-functioning heating [seriously, my room is colder than outside and my fridge, although that's not surprising at all] and the lights that aren't ever on.. and managed to get someone else to cook for me =) And goddamn, this pasta is so good I might actually finish it...
Uhh.. yes.. got the saturday essay title, finally.. it is "To what extent do unimplemented European Community directives have direct -or any other legal -effect in national law? Is the law in this area satisfactory?"
I have a feeling I should ask someone who has done politics about this..

Build it up build it up build it up...

[22,38] Have hit the library. But not in pjs cos it was rainin'.
It's quiet.. too quiet..
And I look like a fool sitting here dancing in silence..[headphones].. ah well.

Will report back later sergeant..

[00.14] I still look like a fool.. dancing away with my shoulders and hands..
There's a humidifier in here. It's noisy. I have done hardly any work..
And I have no idea what I HAVE been doing...
This post is probably getting long.. And I don't think these all day updatey ones are much fun to read..

yaaaawn. I want to go to bed.. but my room will be BALTIC. And I don't like sleeping in a t-shirt and two hoodies with a hot wheaterbottle. Baaah. No.
Must. Not. Think.

Do I dare brave the freezing room of death?

I could just sleep here.. In every law-related building they make the tables/benches perfectly bed sized.
Right FWL and I have decided to head back to the big ice box. Feeling like an earlyish night after the hell that was Scumdies. Eurgh. *shudder*


~ A poor choice of words in wanting to tell you anything..

*stares*

Roman essay due soon.
Very soon.
Not yet started writing it.
Not quite sure why I always end up here.

Bah.

HOW fawesome was the Boosh?!!!

c'mon guys you gotta have watched it..

[excuse me whilst I make stuff up about romans.]

[23.18] garh. Stupid Romans being smart.

[01:41] I hate essays.

[02:12] Well, that's a fourth if ever I wrote one.

Now to get up in 4 hours. eeeesh.

[to be edited...]

[09:11] ok.. so I did kinda oversleep.. but not too much, thankfully someone knocked for me at 07:04.. so I just managed to pile 4 layers of warmish clothing on before trying to run to the boathouse via frosty paths..
I'm having bad flashbacks of my essay. Oh well. It doesn't count for anything.. just my self-esteem. Supervision will by fun-ahoy. And thinking about it, I will actually fall asleep in it. Supervisor has a really soothing voice.. and I'm really easily persuaded to sleep these days..

[09:22] haha.. my fellow waster lawyer was fast asleep too.. I went and knocked her up just in case.
She has viral conjunctivitis.. as does her neighbour.. Which means that I will get it next as it is slowly spreading along the corridor towards me.. or y'know, maybe I've just caught hypochrondia complainia..

Can't believe there are two weeks of term left. It's strange.. like.. where did it go? why don't I know anything? is it because I'm a waster? when did I become a waster? is it even possible to be a waster lawyer?
Hmm.. whilst I'm sure anyone reading this would simply love me to continue on with these meaningless questions... I gotta go get some coffee and something vaguely edible so I don't die during the course of the day.. or y'know miss any of my lecturer's legal comedy gold.. she's a legend.

[to be updated... maybe]

[13.10] I didn't get coffee or food =(
and it wasn't the normal on fire friday comedy wise.. best quote was "wagging the subjective tail.... does that even make sense?".
Supervision T - 2. Still no idea what the word 'mancipi' means. Which is kinda bad.. seeing as it's used all the time.. not as bad as not knowing what assault was the other day though. cringe. We just looked it up. Makes even less sense now... I love it. Thoughts anyone?
aaaand I'm staring at the screen instead of Borkowski.
Not me : "You are such a whingey freak.. you whinge for no particular reason.. come to think of it.. so do I
Me: I think it's a lawyer thing."

Current shopping list:
Sword
Laurel wreath
Optrex
Mini caramel squares of sex

[taking break to discuss roman law with fellow waster - 13:28]

[22:39] Rar. Not gonna bother with watching more children in need.. need bed.
And I hate being tired because when I'm tired I get even more thoughtful. And then I remember things I don't want to. And then I just feel even more tired. Blah.

Went on a quest for a sword after the supervision..
it wasn't so successful =( which I think is insane.. the only one I found was in the disney shop and it was part of a potc set and was crappy.. I want my rave sword back..

I should probably sleep.
Given that the total amount of sleep I've had recently has barely reached double figures..
Ha, the 'newspaper' had this article about students who take proplus/ritalin/red bull to stay awake at night to do the work.. and guess what? sometimes they can stay up until 2 in the morning! like zomg...

Grow up you pussies. You can stay up until 2 with just water.

~over.

p.s best line from supervision today - "I would recommend that you all read more from the digest... and when I say 'more' I'm being generous"

My brain

is dead at the moment.

I think it's having a holiday from the constant thinking. Not that it's ever thinking of the right things.

I think I'm also having cravings. I have cravings quite a lot actually. Not the pregnant kind, because that would be weird. Just like.. sometimes I have a craving for vegetables and vitamins.. Then for bacon.. And now I'm craving normal people. It occurred to me yesterday that I could be becoming even more of a jackass. And I have no way of knowing because I don't have normal people to gauge the relative measure from. And I really don't want to become a major jackass. I'm happy being a dick. Like, am I still the same person? Will people who have known me for more than 5 weeks still like me? I really hope I haven't become some arrogant twatface. That would suck.
Like, I just want to go chill with some people.. and not care. Have no deadlines to think about, no lists to get through..
Basically I just want to exist. But with no real purpose. For a while. The constant staring at words is slowly draining me of all enthusiasm. This week's criminal reading list isn't so bad though, only 40 cases. ¬_¬ [Last one was 72, I just counted]
But yeah, I think I have whatever week this is blues. Except not really, because I'm not blue.. just deflated. Like I have no energy. Which, by the way, is really crap for rowing machines.
Term is going to end soon.. and I don't know how I feel about it. I'm looking forward to going home and stuff.. I just.. I don't know.. I feel like everything is drifting. Drifting somewhere I can't get to or grab hold of or have any way of controlling at all. Sometimes I like having no control and just going along with things.. But everything is just so whoosh! and you go along with it.. that I think I'd like to be able to have some effect on my environment...
Hmm..

I'm still not sure if I am supposed to be here.. like.. I do like it for the most part, but I just have moments where it is so crystal clear that I'm not the typical person that I begin to wonder why I'm here.. Like in one of my supervisions this week, we were talking about parliamentary sovereignty.. and I, eloquent as ever came out with, ' So if Gordon Brown was like "Right chaps, I'm the dude..."' And while it was funny.. afterwards it was just so clear that the point I was making wasn't taken seriously at all and everyone else was just cringing their way through.. and I don't like it..
because I'm not expressing things in some extremely convoluted way.. I feel woefully out of place.. bah.

Maybe I will just be a renegade. Like a Kingsperson, but not at Kings. Because that wouldn't be rebellious. Would it?
I no longer know.


I think I may be schizophrenic. Or bipolar. Or something. Or else I'm just having a sugar rush. You decide.

Hmm.. in summary I'm happy.. I just feel empty.. I think.

Um.. yes.. I'm going to stop here.. to save yourself. Because this doesn't make great reading.

Cat - I'm timing how long it takes you to successfully stalk me. I can reward you with the contents of my fridge- butter, cider, milk and southern comfort. It's like the assassins guild.. except with less polystyrene fridges.


~Over and out of my head like legal knowledge.

I went to A&E yesterday/today.
It was fun. I should get symptoms of serious diseases more often.
I should explain the backstory.. backstories are important..

So a few days ago the headline of the local newspaper changed to "COLLEGES IN GRIP OF KILLER BRAIN BUG".
I got excited thinking some insane parasitic worm was infecting people and sucking out all their intelligence. It turned out to be meningitis, which IS a killer brain bug, but not as I had imagined. So you know, I get changed into my comfy comfy pjs and notice a rash on my shoulder. Interesting. I poke it. It doesn't fade. Nice. So I text my friend saying "Yo, I might have the killer brain bug".. jokingly of course. She was at a toga party at the time.. which I wasn't at because I chose the van of death instead. Anyway, I decide to go to bed.. but then people get back and I was all "Hey, check this out" *shows off freaky rash thing*.. Everyone did the rolling a glass over thing and was like "holy crap, that's meningitis, wanna go to gardies?" [and I said VoD all the way, they're nice and some guys actually got to go IN the van yesterday.] until.. Someone went and knocked on a medic's door to ask for a diagnosis..
Inside the medic's room was another medic who was paranoid that she had meningitis.. so once she saw me it was off to A&E..
Which was, actually a lot of fun. For the hours of 12-2.30am.
But really, a Glaswegian, a Geordie and me.. sitting in A&E making inappropriate, un-PC jokes... comedy gold you can't make up.

So yeah.

In other news, I am a fucktard.
Like you know when something's bad.. so you try to do something? but then it makes it worse.. so you just keeeeep going. until it's a big mess. And you've made it so bad that you can't help but go in circles? Well yeah. That's basically what I've done. and it sucks. Because I don't really know how I did it, or how I'm going to fix it.. I have no other input except my own head, which you just know is going to be a disaster. And I don't like feeling guilty when I don't notice something and so don't cross the street accordingly to avoid putting a downer on someone's day/making indifferent or bad thoughts enter their head for a split second. And I want to get it sorted out before I have to pack up and leave. But it's not going to.. because I keep just making things worse. And I don't know what to do. And it's hard to try and sort out. I think I know a really easy way to do it, which is what I wanted to do the first place anyway, but trying to get someone to do something they don't want to do without being able to have a conversation with them is quite tricky when you're as big a twat as I am.

And everything is so circular.
I'm a twat -> I do twatty things -> people get annoyed -> I cock things up, act like a twat -> people don't want to talk to me because.......->i'm a twat!

And I don't know if admitting that I'm a twat helps things? or makes it worse? no effect at all?

See why having meningitis was fun?

So...

I really, really, really REALLY want that ^ level of comfort.

I should be writing an essay on roman law.
I've got til midnight.
I don't know anything on the topic.
The books don't talk about it much.
Well... maybe they do.. I wouldn't know, not having read any of the extracts I'm supposed to.

I want a break.

To do nothing.

To just exist.

Instead of having to effectively write 4 essays in 2 days with none of the reading.

Playing Pheonix Wright. Yes..
I want life to be like Pheonix Wright sometimes. But then I would just yell "OBJECTION!!!" at every available opportunity..
It's like yesterday, I went next door, DS in hand..
Me: Goddamn. I hate this.
Not me: What?
Me: I hate it when people lie...
..And you know that they're lying..
..but you can't PROVE that they're lying...
..because they might not be lying..
Not me: That's so Irish.

On the plus side, yesterday was halloween. So I got to look shit and in doing so, looked alright. For once.
Tonight is supposed to be indie nu-rave night.. but I don't have the clothes.. oh well.
And I have that essay to do still.
Fuck.

On another plus side, I got two 5 week blues packs.. Double the bubbles!!!
*blows bubbles all over room*
Happiness..

[NB this post is insane all because of an IT course about legal sources. *bangs head off desk* it has pushed me over the edge.]

Now to make shit up about women in Rome.
Think I'm gonna go with a correlation in rights with sexual favours.

~over and out of my mind

Curses

FUCK SHIT WANK BOLLOCKS.

Jesus fucking christ.
That's it.
I am officially breaking down.
Enjoy.

hrmm.

Possibly the best song dedication ever:
"This song is dedicated to a rabbit that I murdered. Well technicailly it was roadkill. But I quite like bunnies. It's called 'Run Rabbit Run'."

Robots in Disguise are good live. They brought 2 support bands with them, one of which came out with that^.

I got a hoody for £6 today... that was good. Yes I'm a corporate whore. But I'm warm.

Things which are not so good;
Being invisible. You know how you always thought it'd be cool? Yeah well, it isn't.
I have a supervision in 2 and a half hours.
I skipped a lecture. And it was actually a good one.
I am not smart enough to be here.
I do no work.
Indifference. I hate indifference.
I freak out people who work in threshers with my sick lawyer sense of humour. Because everyone wants to know about petty thieves who become rapists due to a car crash and then sue the driver for being imprisoned. Clearly.
I don't understand what I'm doing.
I don't understand where I'm standing.
Nobody draws me nice diagrams to show me where I'm standing.
I still have a supervision this afternoon.


Shiiiit.

*dies*

I swear they breed.

hmm..

It's improving.. but the bruising is getting weirder. Like that line along my toes that looks like a shadow but is actually bruising. And the way the skin is all yellow. And there's a weird lump at the front which is itchy..
I did see a doctor about it.. she poked it.

Life still kinda sucks though.
At least I got my essay done. And emailed. I hope. It took a few versions to figure out how to make it into a word file thingy..

Now, I just have to finish off the reading list for that [yes, I did the essay before the reading, go figure] and start the reading/essays for two other subjects. All whilst remaining sane[ish] and hanging on to some sort of 'social' life.

I'm not sure if I like this uni stuff. In some ways it's amazing and the bestthingever.. but at the same time it's kinda crap and stressful and annoying and the things I was looking forward to haven't happened. Which is kinda my own fault.. so I can't complain. I wish I didn't have this innate ability to fuck things up quite so well.. *sigh*

New tegan and sara vid is kinda cool. They're always running. I tried not to listen though. I can't listen to that album at the moment. Suxxx..

Oh, guess what?!! I have another book to buy soon! Its 'pub date' [yes, I have been in heffers so damn much I can speak the language] was today.. but the warehouse didn't get it til yesterday so early next week I will be parting with some more of my student loan... all to purchase a book which probably won't make sense and if you cut all the waffle could fit onto a leaflet.

I'll have to re-photo the book pile.

I'm disgusted by how these things actually matter to me now. And that I can actually have a conversation completely based on textbooks and pub dates. I'm such a loser. =(

I will write a comprehensive post at some stage.. perhaps.

Maybe after the rugby...

hmm

~Over and over because I'm a fucktard.

gah2

Can life suck much more. like really?

gah

Life sucks.

Pigeons

Student accomodation... the joys..

It took me a few days to notice that sign.. I think that's because it was on the floor when I arrived and was only put up days later.. Nice to know that the pigeons want to keep us company..
The ducks around here are pretty cool, I saw one standing outside Subway today.. Just standing.. For no reason, but he just looked very respectable standing there.. He just need a little tweed flatcap and a pipe.. Would've been perfect.. ^_^
Discovered a new method of cleaning today, instead of removing the festering bags of rubbish that are the whole way down the hall, the cleaners just came into our rooms and hoovered.. which I don't remember reading that they do.. Was well freaked out like.. Opening your door, seeing carpet, and everything in the wrong place is unnerving..

So I'm supposed to be reading a case at the minute, but I am taking a break..
It's a tort case.. if you were wondering.. about auditors being negligent.. fun-city.
The tort lecture was fun today though, basically Constitutional has a U- certificate, Criminal has an 18, Roman would only be shown in an Arthouse cinema.. and Tort is for those with a sick sense of humour.. I think I'm gonna like the stories..
Like the guy who has a nipple ring and got it caught on the bottom of a swimming pool and had to rip it out or drown..
Personally I would just unscrew the piercing.. what would you do?
The lecturer also said something like. "What if you're living in the Shadow of Death for the rest of your life? Should you be able to claim?" The concept of living in a Shadow of Death amused me.. So you know, naturally I'm going to be the one in the annoying adverts saying "Are you living in the Shadow of Death? Angry about it? If so we can help you! There could be compensation for your case! No win, no fee.."

I attempted to cook using the "oven" this evening.. I say "oven", what I mean is a box which gets to warm and stops there. Semi- raw pasta and meatballs.. yummay! Had another surreal discussion whilst sitting in the corridor waiting for it to warm through.. about thrush medication.. [not me I hasten to add.. a girl down the corridor] apparently.. wait.. no.. I don't want to share this.. but.. if you ever get thrush, I know the best medication to get.. ^_~

So I can't really do Law.. no surprises there.. I'm trying.. but this bloody town's minute is shorter than New York's I tell ya!
I also have a cold.. So I went to boots and bought Beechams, Vaporub, Olbas Oil, Strepsils, Tissues and Multivitamins.. cos I cannot handle being ill this week.. or any week that I'm here for that matter..

Can somebody please tell me what is going on in the world?
I have no idea at the minute... Is Alaska still there? Have any new wars started? Do iceburgs still exist? I can't believe it's been a week... something semi-significant must have happened in that week.. no?
Someone make stuff up, I'll believe you...!

~Over and case reading..

meep

Evenin'
This is my 10 minute 8 o'clock break.

Here are some things:
- I don't understand a lot of the apparently English language.. "iconoclast"* wtf?
- Mixed netball is more fun and less pain than rugby.
- Rowing is easy as long as I don't think about it. Thinking about it makes things go wrong.
- Ducks aren't scared of oars.
- My neck hurts.
- My textbooks make an effective doorstop.
- My laptop is gothsexy.
- I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing work-wise. I don't know what I'm aiming for.
- I am a bit of a dick to people. Especially to Someone.
- I have no concept of time anymore. 1 week feels like 3 months.
- I am going to be, well actually, I already am, shit at my subject.
- It is hard to write a blog in 10mins.
- I don't know how to talk to Someone without annoying them. Like I can't quite just have a conversation. I feel it has to have a purpose and a reason and lots of questions. When really all I want is to talk nothingness to Someone that knows me.
- Sigh.
*An iconoclast is a person who attacks cherished beliefs or institutions. Quite a nice word. I will use it more often.

How is life everywhere else?

I keep forgetting that there is life outside of my bubble.. and that those lives don't mirror my own..
I haven't seen a paper in a week.. I bought the Sunday Times today, because I felt like I should.. but it's still in it's plastic wrapper..
England beat Oz.. wow.. that's gonna make my supervision fun..
France beating NZ though.. cheesh..
What a turnaround for the Northern Hemisphere..!!

eek.. I should go..
I'm gonna try to put up a picture.. but this new iphoto confuses me..

~overworked and out

universitay

yo..
This should hopefully be short.. but then I have work to do.. so it will probably be paaaages long..

Uni is very cool.. I like being in civilisation.. Not really liking the amount of work I'm going to have to do and the lack of free time that I have.. and having to be everywhere at once =(

It also feels like I've been here for ages.. but it's been less than a week..
I keep forgetting.. time goes really quickly so it feels like it' been 3 days since something happened when it was like 1..
Mm drunks outside the window.. faaaantastic.
I don't live above a market though. I'm lucky..

My room is so full of stuff.. it's depressing.. there's paper and textbooks everywhere.. not to mention clothes and towels..
I guess I got two free mugs for my expenditure on books though.. which is something...
I have a wee mission to go on tomorrow.. I'll make a twat out of myself.. it'll be fun..
Like when I sad "where have you bark your piked?" today...

Yeah.. I should really start reading the list of Tort stuff for my supervision... need to understand it.. must not let supervisor down.. he's too cool to be let down..
There are loads of n. irish lawyers.. like everywhere I go in the faculty I hear northern irish voices.. Like today in the toilet queue.. or the Heffers queue..

*looks at mass of papers scattered about room*
yesss... um.. I'm gonna go.. read.. something...
*locates tort book*
jesus christ.. it's a big 'un.. chapter 3..
oh.. only 107 pages to get through.. >_<

I want some damned free time to socialise! and go for strolls! and to chill and settle in without the pressure of work!
gaaaaah.

~over and ooot