Urff

Yo.

I'm taking a coffee break from procrastinating from my work... As is the way..
Today was quite productive procrastination-wise. Bought Chat [for it's legal-rich stories] and Pick Me Up! because it mentioned being murdered with jelly. I love that our lecturer brought Chat in earlier in the term.. He is a legend. Anyways, that led to me anf FWL making videos about the stories in them... most of which turned out to be crap because the sound didn't work for some reason.. so we made a podcast instead.. as you do.. Then we made a video about what we would do if we were ducks. Because that's normal. Obvs.

Aaanyway.. Did I tell you about the elephant? I must have. It's absurd to think that I didn't.. because I lobe that story with all my heart. I also love the story about Bruce. You know the one about Bruce.

Hrrm. Yes. Interesting time of year March. Lots of hares. And all that jazz. Also a time to consider correct approaches to exiguous relations. Ho hum. Think I need one of those map boards.. with troops.. and a stick thing to push them about with. What a strategist I would make... 'If we move the troops into this formation.. it's a pacman and they can just make the enemy disappear!'.. And then I would put on my army hat [which would clearly be all kinds of awesomage] and go and wander around..

Uuuurugh. Have to be up at stupid o'clock tomorrow. And I'm probably only going to go to sleep at silly o'clock tonight. Nocturnal is cool these days yeah? welliznthat.

Right.

T-O-R-T

I said so look closely there might be something you'd like.. what was it like?
Oh and I... Look so close its been months who knows if I will get this right..



Click here to get your own player.

murh.

[ around 8 am] : I am so tired. I haven't slept in a while... and due to the fact that I am on a train right now I can't sleep because knowing me I would miss the stop and end up in Glasgow looking very confused. So I'm typing this instead.
GODDAMN. Someone's phone keeps making this irritating triangle noise.. And no, I don't mean the shape... Hmm. I don't think a triangle would make the sound that a musical triangle makes. Triangles are strong. They should have a strong sounding voice.. Now squares.. they'd be the sissies.
Sleep deprivation is clearly not a good thing. I should be doing work for a supervision.. but I know that nothing will remain in my head at the moment. So what I'm gonna do is get back and go to sleep for a bit [ie about 2 hours].. that'll sustain me.. right?

Baaaah.

Anyway. The world looked pretty from up high. The sun was casting interesting shadows. I like shadows. When they don't look like murdering rapists.

Oo.. I'm making myself do that illusion where the railway line looks like it's moving along really fast like a mini train of its own.. it's interesting but I have a feeling it'll make me feel sick quite soon. And that's not nice. dum de dum. Want some new music. Think I'll go on a hunt later. With a tranquiliser gun. And a pith helmet. Cos they're classy. Hm. I see research labs.. Must be getting close. Not to new music.. to being back.. better pack uppp.

[around 2.30 pm because I left this window open and got distracted] : Yeah. It was so worth it though. But I think I have to go to el hospital today.

I am sleeeeeeeepy. But I have a massiv' mug of coffeee. [3Es].
I'm gonna come back laters. K chrs.

Baa

Hehe.. I found this drawing.. and it made me chuckle.. [It didn't actually, it made me smile and laugh inside my head and remember good times] Good time when things were random and pointless and it didn't matter much. Ah nostalgia. So lovely.
It's just fun to remember all the little in-jokes that went on.. A stick with raw chicken on it as a weapon of choice has a special place in my internal organs though..

I wonder if I've grown up since then. The blinding answer is no. No I haven't. But then I probably have become a bit weathered. Or gnarled. Mm, I like 'gnarled'. Like tree bark going all twisty and cracked. 'can a void be gnarled..?' Other people have probably got adulter though.. meaning I am no longer on the cutting edge of wit and randomness [as if I ever was..].

Went to see the go! team last night.. 'Twas fun..ish.. The crowd was annoying in places.. I got a scenester to the cheekbone at one point.. That hurt. And the support band.. gosh.. that was.. yeah.. hmm. I'll just not go into it.. Finland. S'all I'll say.

I got to be the Daily Mail reader today ^_^ It was fantastic! I got to indulge my cynicism and sarcasm and disguise my own lack of clue all in one!

Do do do do da da da.. I love this little tune.. In 5 years time we could be walking round a zoo.. Shame I don't actually have it =( I also like how I can feel the drum beat when I rest my foot on the bass speaker.. Fun fun fun.. Aaaaah I love this. I love being "into" music.. like properly enthusiastically listening to it.. and it making me happy.. Major grinnage 'nd that.

Reminds me.. my 12 hour jaunt is sooooon. 'Twill be an experience fo' sho'. Set your watch, I wanna hear it tick..
oh we're so c-c-c-c-c-controversial..

Gah. ok. Stopping now. I don't know what's got into me... nothing remotely interesting though...
Erk.

~over and out



Musick:
AFI - Girl's Not Grey
Scooter - The Logical Song
The Cure - Maybe Someday
The Go! Team -Keys to the City
Noah and the Whale - 5 Years Time
Regina Spektor - Another Town
Controller.Controller - Watch
The Cliks - Cry Me A River
Brand New - Ok, I Believe You But My Tommy Gun Don't.
The Cure - Just Like Heaven
Emily Haines - Bottom of the World

Woof.

Right. I finally took a picture.

THERE IS A SKULL OUTSIDE MY WINDOW. I am not crazy and it is there and if you can't see it you are silly. And partially sighted.

I don't know why I was so emphatic. Anyway. He's called.. well I can never decide on a name. I want to think of him as a character from Funny Bones.. but Big and Little and Dog, don't give many options. I loved Dog. We had a night where we just sat on youtube watching all the old kids tv shows. It was awesome.. although I'm ashamed to say that I now judge them too highly.. eg. those skeletons aren't accurate.. we have waaaay more detailed bones than that. And really.. A whole family of Loch Ness monsters? that respond to a whistle?
However the award for 'omg how did this EVER get shown' goes to... :

... damnit! Youtube what are you on? Why aren't you working at this, my time of need? Well you're just not gonna get to know. Unless you ask me. But I doubt anyone is curious enough. Bummer.

So..

Today today today.. nothing interesting has happened. Tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow... well that's tomorrow so I don't rightly know. But I would say it's going to be more of the same.

I've decided I was right. Which is unusual because I'm normally not. I'm normally hideously wrong. If I were a piece of homework I'd have more red Xs than ticks.. and the stamper would say 'at least you tried!' with a picture of a train or something. I miss having stampers. I liked the blue ones with the dolphin that said 'well done!' and the dolphin was spouting water from his blowhole.. Even when young and unsuspecting, images comprised of innuendo appealed to me...

Rarrr I'm hungry. But 2 hours til 10 when I'm eating.. suxx.

Yes right.. gonna go. Because I have nothing to ramble about in my strange and totally unamusing way.. therefore.. pointless.

Rar

Yo.

I neglect this. That's not a bad thing. But I feel like typing bollocks so..

I was dressed as a pirate for a while today.. Pirates are fun. What's more, I was a purple pirate. And alliteration clearly makes everything more x-tream.
This has been a good week for dressing up. First as a guantanamo detainee and then as a pirate. Dressing up is a good excuse for me to look like a twat, clearly.

Hrrm. This term is nearly done. And once again I'm scared by it. Exams. Soon. I know nothing. And I need to.. but then I have expected to be kicked out for quite a while so it doesn't really matter I guess. Year is going by so fast. 'Tis hard to believe.. kinda. But then all past seems so strange and story-book. Like school. That was so simple. I much prefer uni, but it is a tad more complicated.. I just spent a while on the ole sites, bebo and myspazz looking at schoolfolks pages and stuff.. and it is profoundly odd. I don't know why I used 'profoundly' there.. It isn't actually. But then I don't know why I use words ever. They don't like me. I have trouble with them. We have a very fragile understanding..

I wonder if I've started to get my self back yet. It was stolen in the dead of night by a ninja pixie you see. Or something like that. I forget the exact details. They don't matter much though. All I need to know is that Glamour was right. Damn magazine. Able to tell me more about myself from a generic mcq quiz than I have managed to gather over 19 years. However. I am rebuilding. Methinks. Perhaps. Possibly. With old rusty bricks and dinted nails in a fantastically ramshackle style.

Hmm. This reminds me; I have noticed an über enhanced quality of mine recently... The RICOCKULOUS NEED TO QUALIFY EVERYTHING I SAY. *ahem* I believe it arises from this subject I study. I mean, I over-qualified before but not this badly. I can no longer give a y/n answer. No no. It has to be at least a paragraph of absurd, overcomplicated detail that nobody wants to know. An example [wasn't actually me but it illustrates];

A: Do you have a nectar card?
B: Yes I do actually. But I left it at home on my bed. And I haven't registered it yet because I only got it yesterday morning and I forgot to do it. So I guess no, at the moment, I don't have a nectar card.

And another;

C: Here's something interesting. Well no, it's not interesting. It's mildly interesting. To some I suppose. Most people wouldn't find it interesting but you might consider it to be interesting.. I think it's definitely at least mildly interesting..


I don't think I'm in a serious condition yet though.. this was the wort one I've heard so far and I'm defs not that bad..;

D: [...] on Monday, that's this Monday, not next Monday, Monday in two days time Monday, not any other Monday.. although it could also happen on another Monday at some point in time but I'm referring to the nearest Monday..

Ahem. Yes. So that was a nice little departure into the future of my speech. Gah. I hate that I can see what I will probably become and hate every aspect of it.. Although saying that, there was a guy recently who is a criminal barrister and he seemed to have his soul intact. So maybe I have some hope. Somewhere. In a forgotten pocket. With a fiver. And a button. And a cinema ticket so faded and creased the film title is no longer legible.

Bah. I am procrastinating badly. Two supervisions' worth of work to do before Monday [that's this Monday....] and I'm going to be so unproductive this week it is going to hurt at some point. I could make a choice between sleeping, eating and working.. As one of them should be achievable. Just not more than one. Hence why I'm not gonna choooooose. I'm just gonna sit here and draw. Because THAT's progress.

Sigh. I am better in person. I think. I can't judge really. Once upon a time I was possibly considered amusing or at least mildly interesting. A long once upon a time ago. Now I'm just... *shrugs* weird and whatever.. Is that accurate? Probably.

I can't control you, I don't know you well, these are the reasons, I think that you're ill..

~over and outtttt

Music listened to:
My Manic and I - Laura Marling
Say It If You Mean It - Tsunami Bomb
You and I - Gliss
Big Green Bath - co.uk
Freak - Silverchair [jeez it's been a while]
Mr Brightside - Thin White Duke Mix - The Killers
Shine Like A New Pin - Camera Obscura
Papercut - Linkin Park
Bathwater - No Doubt
Meantime - The Futureheads

Rested..

..ish..
I got some sleep! More than 5 hours in one go! that's the second time! And I'm in such a better mood because of it! Look at all these exclamation marks!
Of course.. Going to sleep meant that I didn't do any work which means that I have to stay up early tonight.. [so late it's early]
If only I didn't piss around so much.. then I'm sure my work/sleep ratio would be much better balanced.

Aaaaaaaanyway.

I get to look like an idiot tomorrow!

aaaaaand.. well.. there isn't anything else really.

I still suck at my degree.
I'm still ill.
I'm still rowing. [go figure]
I'm still a bit of a wanker.
I still suck at the practical side of my degree.
I'm still wasting time on here instead of doing work.
Bah.

hmm

When I left the library last night [this morning] the birds were singing.
Then I had 2 hours of sleep.
There's something odd here..

*sad face*

Too much essay.
Too little time.
Too much confusion about rats.
I want to go outside.
It's sunny outside ^_^
Like summer.. there is so much fun that I could have..

Bah.

yeah...

basically..
I feel like I'm about to have a minor breakdown. Of sorts.
Someone tell me that this stupid course is not everything in the world.
Looking at the stars helped for a while. But then I returned to the library.. and it was once again pointed out to me how stupid I am. Normally I'm ok with being the idiot, because I am an idiot.. but I wish that people wouldn't be so open about the fact that my stupidity confuses them. I mean, I had 20 minutes to create an argument without even knowing what I was arguing. So yes, I cited weird cases for no real reason apart from the fact that I MIGHT need them. Yes, I have had 3 days to prepare this. I would like to shout that I was SUPPOSED TO HAVE SEVEN. And I would also like to point out that I haven't had 3 free days to think about this.. No. I have had 2 supervisions to prepare for [which by the way are a teensy bit more relevant to my degree] so you know, yeah, I DON'T HAVE A CLUE. Why is this so confusing? I, unlike every other person in this fucking town, am not smart. I am painfully aware of this fact so please stop shoving it in my face. I feel crap enough about it already. Really. That doesn't need to be worried about. I can guarantee that I am stupidly low in self esteem levels, nothing in the past year has done anything to convince/persuade/suggest to me that I'm of any use or worth. In fact, the past few years have been pretty shite overall.
I want to be six again.
Six was simple. I wasn't weak when I was six. Or if I was, it was ok, because I was only six. Whereas now, I'm a big ole weak mess of emo. And I hate that I can't communicate this to anyone.. I hate that I can't communicate in general.. I don't speak the right way, I don't say the right things.. blah.

I have to create an argument now. 1.30am.. fuck.

whoop

Yo.
In the library.. just arrived.
Whoooop.
So incredibly hungry. HUNGRY. Like a hippo. Almost. But not really. Just kinda peckish.
I was supposed to be here since 8.. but I went to the pub instead. Heh.
So. Who are you? And what reason do you have to be here, reading this? Hmm?
Ah nevermind. I'm sure that you're only here to reassure yourself of how crap a person I am.. So this will be helpful I'm sure.
I want to be in bed.
Asleep.
Not caring about this shitheap of a week..

Sorry that I'm not that interesting.

I'm having a bad mood of a week. I woke up in a bad mood and then had to wake up AGAIN in a bad mood.. and then I remembered how pissed off I was from Sunday, so was extra-super-uber-pissed off. Grr.

Tomorrow. I should be drunk by this time. Gah. Horrible grey blurry feelings. bleh.

~over and I have to do work.

u_u

Sigh.
It has begun..
It depresses me..

This is all for now.. Because shorter posts are emo-er posts, and my skills need honed.

*squeeeeeee*

I'm so stupidly excited by the addition of a sphere to my life..
I hope this high lasts me through the week that starts.. now!

God it's so cool.

-_-

Muh.

I feel sick.
But anyway.

I really like that simile.. the stumbling drunk one.. I'm going to use it more..

Um yeah.. I don't really have anything to say.. And really I can't quite concentrate. I have been so weird today.

Went wandering around the town.. started off with a sex shop. As you do.
Decided I quite like taking the time to wander. It's enjoyable. I want more time like that. Chill time. Yes.
Blarg. Every area of my life has been confirmed to me as being crap.. it's not very encouraging.. But at least it is enhancing my emo skills. I am quite advanced now.

Urg. Typing has suddenly become quite headache inducing..

I'm not looking forward to the next while. Crap week has turned into a month.. Don't know how I'm actually going to cope from tomorrow onwards.. but I figure if it gets too much I can breakdown and everything will be ok because I can build it back up and my dos will be too scared to ask me anything ever again.

Think I should have nap..

I was actually going to type about stuff.. but now I feel the time for ducks has passed as I am slowly feeling more recent occasions when I have been dickish come to the fore. Yuck.

Later.

~over and totally out of it.

Muh

I hope someone loves my "suffering" like gravity loves a stumbling drunk.

94RH

SO PISSED OFF.

Still 4R9

Yo.

Surprise surprise.. I still have too much work to do in too little time..

Aside from that..
I have lycra.
And although it is shockingly comfortable.. It is as hideously unflattering as expected.. Actually that's unfair.. it's not unflattering as such.. just brutally honest. And yet we are all considering going on a pub crawl/out for dinner in it anyway.. Odd..

yeah.. blah. Had a weird moment the other night when starey guy seemed to somehow recognise us and then proceeded to steal our food. I wasn't entirely sure that this had in fact happened.. but two other people have confirmed that it did so it must have.. unless there's something in the water.. Which I strongly suspect to be true anyway. It tastes funny.


Trying to think of stuff which is interesting enough to say is difficult. I give up.

Legal IT:

Time is money.
If you do job A for client 1 on Monday, and job A for client 2 on a Friday, client 2 can be charged more because you are more experienced in doing job A.
You can charge for time spent thinking about a case on the way to the coffee machine.
Time is divided into 0.1 hour bursts.. Meaning that somehow 20mins of work can be charged at the hourly rate.
A top QC can expect to charge £8/9000 an hour.

Those are just a few examples of what we were told about..
And they make me feel a bit sick.. like really, are those not kinda cuntish things to do? and who would pay that much?! Sigh. Might as well sell up soul now I guess. There's little chance of me ever getting to do what I want to anyhow.. Ho hum.

Argh. For all the work I got done last night I should have gone out out, not just to the bar. [Went for a quick drink.. ended up being there for hours] Although I'm not sure where I would have gone.. there were too many conflicting options. And the two main ones I had considered would probably have been inappropriate. Baah.

I'm not looking forward to being told I'm crap.. which is going to happen at least 3 times between now and 7pm tomorrow. v_v

~over and into the books for now.

4R9

It is Friday. Apparently. I think this information is good.
It means that I have a few days until I get used for an example of homicide. [watch the amount that I moan increase exponentially over those days] Arg. I'm so pained. ¬_¬

Blaaaaah.
I'm in an odd little mood.
It's interesting. I'm semi-hyper, happy-ish, confused-ish and zig-zag. [Hey, I needed another hyphen... and you know it]
I think it's the feeling I get in between the stress-fests. But whatever.

Or else it was just a little high.. before I realised how stupidly tired I am and how much crap I still have to do. Oh well.
I did something very stupid yesterday. I spent a while making something on the computer, not ages, but a substantial while.. and then promptly clicked on 'OK' when a box came up informing me that all the files would be deleted if I logged out. >_<

So now that has to be done again. And I'm not exactly sure when.. Bum.

[12.20] Yes..
Definitely remembering how unfavourable the work:time ratio is.. Oh well what does it matter. I am actually unable to do this degree and whilst one side of me is incredibly frustrated and depressed by it.. I'm just gonna ignore it and tell it to fuck off until there's someone around who I can actually talk to about it. Which will be... end of term? Unless someone who cares and knew me before this place magically appears like some sort of intergalactic therapist.
Hmm. I think I just made it sound like I'm not going to casually complain about the fact that I'm a bit useless.. which I blatantly am.. because everyone does a bit.. Like there's that sort of average standard of everyone being self-effacing to be polite and guard themselves against the risk of not being awesome.. but then there's this other level.. which scares me to talk/think about or even just admit. Maybe I should just stop being a cagey freak and become an over-sharing forceful freak.
. . . . . . nah.


It was guantanamo bay's sixth birthday.. did you know? As a sidenote; strobe lights = awesome, random guy staring at you/your friends/your stupid dancing = not so awesome. I think I will fashion a sign saying 'I know I can't dance for breadsticks.. stop looking at me!!' and wear it whilst out.

I was going to ramble about something.. but I've forgotten and now feel bad about this time that I'm wasting..

Oh maybe that was it.. Legal IT = How to charge people money. Disgusting. I didn't like it.

~over and back laterzz

balls

I am mildly drunk.. not drunk.. just mildly.. a little..
And I'm on westlaw.. trying very hard to have something to bullshit with during my supervision tomorrow [OH GOD I'M SCREWED YET AGAIN].

I hate law. I just get fucked from every possible angle. And it's not even enjoyable..

I think I may have done something bad tonight. But I'm not sure because I can't remember what I was told.. And now I feel like a wanker for potentially being mean to someone I have never even set eyes on, let alone met. It was my own fault.. the medics were there so I tried to regurgitate what I thought I had been told.. but I may have dreamt what I thought I had been told. Because that stupid shit happens. I doubt it will have any effect. But then if it does.. not only will I feel terrible.. but I'll probably have to curl up in a ball as everything tumbles down around me.. Bah bah bah!.

I say. Vodka. Good. Walls. Good. Being offensively [mildly] drunk on vodka whilst on a wall. Awesome.

Someone give me a gift of stress-free sleep.. I will repay with whatever.. Arghg. Six hours. Then I have to be awake and learning.

I want to form a super-awesome-stellar allegiance. Just so you know.

~ over and where you goin' with a head like that?
[really.. why are you reading this unrepresentative tripe?]

gurg.

From now on, I’ll write about flowers and butterflies.. chickens and kittens.. and shit..
Because that would probably be better and more insightful.. and also.. I could perhaps try to be less wankery. But that's not happening.

Right. One supervision down.. One [to do ALL the reading for] to go.
I'll start it in a minute.. Should maybe make some COFFEEE. Or go buy some red bull.. whichever.

Anyway.. is it wrong that I feel slightly sad that Heath died? I mean.. now there's def. no chance of a 10 things sequel.. and that film is a fucking classic. Letters to Cleo came on earlier and I felt a pang for a moment.. I like that no one believed me when I broke the news though.. I must look like an unreliable source.. which I guess I am most of the time..

Yes.. so seeing as I am still alive [although barely] it seems like going out yesterday was A-Ok. Best bit of the night- the alcopop I was drinking containing "Sugar, sweetners and sulphite" and apparently, nothing else. There were other good bits too.. and I suppose some not so good bits.. but everything seems alright, my friend is not dead/gang raped lying in a gutter somewhere.. as for a small while seemed to be likely..
The decision.. well no, I've already decided that I'm going out tonight, as it's a birthday, therefore it is a must. Drinks must be bought [I'm sticking to my resolutions dammit [I dance like a fool these days] ]. The question is when and how long to go for.. Hmm.. Gah. I just want chill time. The workload has exploded and my motivation has collapsed.. Want to go hang out.. Just sit around and talk about shit [which, admittedly, is what I do now] but without the little part of my brain reminding me that I have work.. lobotomy?

So um.. yes.. I can't remember what I was blabbering about.. This keeps happening.. especially when drinking >_<
Like, for some reason, I have trouble remembering what exactly I did/said.. which is normal for major drunkeness.. but not a couple of sulphite alcopops and two shots.. unless my tolerance has gone to shit. Although wait.. I WAS in the pub beforehand.. shit.. Hmm. My point still stands though.. My head is messy. As you may have noticed. I would confide if anyone cared enough to not put it down to my nationality ^_^

Roar!
I'm fine.. Dandy.. Spiffing.. Whatever.

Hmm.. perhaps I'm just listening to the cure too much... is that even possible? Think it's more likely to be too many statutes/cases meself.

Anyway.. Work.. Blurgh.
More confusion.. awesome. Innit.

baaah

Oh my head is fucked..

It's nearing break down time..

I dont know what to do.. my head is just... god.

Fuck.

Aid?

Lecturezzzzz

Je m'ennuie...

I have time to think in french because I am in a roman lecture. And I am not paying attention to it..
I really should be..
He just made a joke about a swan... I think.

Anyhoo.. I did that thing this morning where I turn my alarm off, fall back asleep and dream that I got up. It sucked.
Like I've been saying, crap week. Although.. Last night was fun in that I sat in a corridor drinking wine [instead of doing work]. It is becoming ever more apparent to me as to why I am not very good at this degree stuff.. I think you need to have some form of work ethic... Which I am without.. Bummer.

oo it's over.. I'll be back..

[13.52]

Fuuuuck.
Seriously, remind me not to be myself again.. For some reason I attract too much stuff... ah well. At least I rope others in with me on my little sinking pirate ship.. [Metaphors make everything better OK? Trust me on this one.. I've been surviving on metaphors for months..]

So right.. Anyway.. This is my pre-work tornado ramble.. I say tornado... It probably going to turn out to be a light sea breeze. Which won't be helpful when I've got to go out at 5.30.. and want to go out after that..

But yes.. I will superhumanly manage to get through these 13 cases and understand them all in uh.. 3 hours.. I will. Just you see... [you're wearing sunglasses..yes?]

~over for the foreseeable meantime..

'The brain of neanderthal man was larger than that of modern man' - Mr. Snapple lid.

Yesh

So, the start of a crap week..
And I know it's going to be crap because there is no possible way that it couldn't be. I have accepted this fact. So I'm going to try and be happy whilst having a crap week.

So hopefully, the fact that I have so much stuff to do [that for some reason, I VOLUNTARILY signed up for..] won't be too much of a problem and won't interfere with the things that I actually want to do.. Like I want to go out on tuesday.. tomorrow even.. but I will probably be dead on my feet by then.. But then, I do seem to magically achieve more when mildly drunk and slightly dead [as evidenced by my little jaunt on sunday.. which I haven't written about.. and probably won't.. because it's a SECRET.. I think.. ] so maybe everything will be ok..

Maybe... Maybe I have reached the lowest of The Low and as such can only possibly go up, or linger around the same level.. That's optimistic, right? ^_^

Sometimes I wonder if anyone around this place ever has similar thoughts.. or thoughts of a similar tone, as I don't really think anyone would have the same thoughts as me, because that would mean they were insane.

Aaaah nooooooo! I've got the 2ish tiredness =( It hits everyday at around 2 o'clock. It's not quite as accurate as the dehumidifier in the library.. but it still happens most days..

Oh how the desire to nap outweighs the desire to do work... Hmm.

Right. This isn't interesting [shock horror horror shock horror shock] so I'm going to stop for now... blah.

~over and outtttt

......

Oh bugger.

That's all I can really say to sum up today/this week/future events..

That or 'FUCK'.

=(

I'm at a low, represented by this diagram.

Except without the emoness because really, it is quite shit on the scale of things. Bah. 

But I guess seeing as no one else cares, I shouldn't either and should just ignore it.. 

Oh and in answer to my question yesterday; no, it isn't possible to eat two meals in one day. I don't know why but it isn't. 

~over for now cos I'm surrounded by books and they would prefer that I did something vaguely worthwhile... 

"Your ribs can't withstand increasing weight as your heart gets heavier and sooner or later it falls to the tips of your toes.."

*yawn*

Yo.

I'm all bopped out. I was kinda 80s.. I think. I got told I looked like an extra for the mighty boosh, so that'll do. Even though it was probably for old gregg. Dressing up is fun. I mean, yes, I look like a twat, but at least now I can say I've walked the streets dressed akin to an ambiguously gendered hooker. Can you? 

Yeah. Anyway. I'm typing here because I have to settle down and do some work. Seemingly stupid logic I know.. but I think I need to release energy and just type crap to get it out of my system. Occupiers' liability aint so great for a slightly hyper mind. 

Scar tissue that I wish you saw.. I've been weird when typing recently.. I can't decide if there's a reason or not. probably not. probably just sick of.. having to make an effort. Effort is annoying.. when I make it it always seems to just whack me in the face. So sick of being tired and so tired of being sick.. 

We're really pushing the boat out today.. planning to have both lunch and dinner/tea. 2 meals. 1 day. Can it be done? We shall see...

Bah. Work. I'd rather go be indie later. Guess I'll have all the time in the world to be indie soon though. Hurrah. 

~If your right hand is causing you pain, cut it off..

Punked

I look like a twat.... 

Awesome! For some reason I enjoy looking like a fool these days. 

Anyway. I'm gonna be 80s tonight. 80s is quite annoying though.. it's so wide. I'm just gonna go with the crazy half ravey look.. apart from the fact that it does actually look quite normal. Death will be fun though, I'm sure. 

I have a new hat for the occasion. It's awesome. I'm not sure how I'm going to work it into real life.. but I will somehow.. as I must with all bop clothes. 

I'd apologise for my posts of late. But I'm not really sorry and I'm not really going to apologise to an audience of myself. 

Made up some reasons for the disappeared cows today. 

Also got confirmation that I should just get the fuck out of this place. 

Faaaantastic. 

What are you talking about? No me gusta la coke.. 

Stupidthoughts.

It's either someone I don't want to talk to or someone selling what I don't need.. I'm unresponsive because you're irresponsible.. basically. I can't be bothered to speak. As if it matters. 

Meh. 

Fuck it. Fuck it all. 

bastardface.

Fuck. You. 

Actually. I don't get it. So fuck you. 

Fuckwankbollocks

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

That was ATROCIOUS. 

I'm not entirely sure how my supervisor is going to grade a paragraph.. but he's going to have to try. 

My new supervisor is going to think that I think that insane events follow logically on from one another and can can all be blamed on a devoted fan.. and that I don't think that rape is that bad. Because you know, obviously having glass shards in your eye means that your consent is completely valid. 

Roman guy is going to think I have a complete lack of imagination as I only know one thing about something that is completely of my own invention. 

And consti? Oh fuck consti man is going to think I should be doing sps.. Which I SHOULD BE. 

So yeah, it was as shit as expected. Although I did kind of entertain myself with my lack of knowledge. 

Worst thing was, on the way to the exam I could see people I recognise from lectures... just mucking about with lacrosse sticks.. I want to be able to mess about with lacrosse sticks.. And then when I came out it was all dark.. but the sky was very pretty and it was probably a nice sunset and I fucking missed it because I was too busy staring at a paragraph of non-sensical speech. Grmph. 

[Yes, don't worry, I am aware that this is all my own doing.. but if you hadn't noticed.. I have an annoying tendency to be melodramatic for the sake of it.. which I am trying to lessen down on]

In other news, I think I may start keeping a tab on how many hours I spend in the wig. For kicks. I'm quite pissed that I stayed in and attempted to learn last night when I could have gone out to the 'last' life and got wasted and still performed the same way today. Ballcocks. 

Anyway. Now fo' alcohol and formal. And everyone is probably going to go to a certain club after because it's 'amaaaazing' [it isn't, it's shit] and I am just going to want to hang out. I might just go get drunk on the wall. I like the wall. 

Sigh.. I don't think I like my tone much =( 

Am I just exemplifying what a wankstain I am? Probably. 

When we go down you lost the courage, when we go down you're so ferocious..  

~Over and over for now but it begins tomorrow. 

'I could fill books with what I don't know about law.. In fact, they DO fill books with what I don't know about law... They're called law textbooks...'

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\m/

I can almost see a skyline through a thickening shroud of egos.. Is this the city of angels or demons?
Who knows.. 

Blah. It turns out that I don't work during daylight hours. So Everything is pinned on tonight. Which is shit because I could be out not caring.. dancing in my idiotic fashion.. I wish I could dance properly.. =( ah well. 

Have I expressed my extreme displeasure at my subject yet? Probably not nearly enough. Sigh. Thing is, I do really like it.. I just don't like that everything else seems easier [note: I said 'seems', I am aware that most other subjects are probably more difficult]. What I also don't like is that I seem to only talk about a small variety of subjects.. Law, rowing, complaining about law, complaining about rowing, and complaining about everything. Oh, and what I'm doing now, complaining about complaining.. 

I feel like talking about things like music and how I often feel the desire to just lie on the floor and stare at the ceiling and try to feel the world move. I don't get enough chances to do that. Think I'll make an effort from now on.. I mean I do it in the wig all the time.. so I'll just extend it to other floors and other ceilings ^_^ 

*eats rice cake*

[note: slightly stale rice cake]

I love how my diet just changes dramatically.. Like it goes from normal 3 meals a day to 1. I'm sure  it's not particularly healthy.. especially when the meal can sometimes consist of coffee and rice cakes/biscuits... or just coffee.. Maybe this is aiding my idiocy. Stitch your lips to constrict languages. S'what I should do.. apparently I'm supposed to become a court reporter/law lord.. because my case descriptions are so detailed and eloquent.. eg;

'you know.. that one.. where there were like.. some lobsters.. in a tank.. and then the tank broke and the lobsters all died.. and the guy was like 'fuuuuck' '

Anyway////// I should be doing something. 

I could have a little emo rant, but I haven't quite got the skills up to scratch yet as I haven't been having my regular emo-offs. I am going straight to stereotype hell... I know it. 

Looking at my music.. I don't know how I'm going to get through it. I managed to collect up a lot of back catalogue and now there's so much I don't know what to do with it.. What a dilemma. Never mind that exam thing, listening to music is clearly the biggest problem in my life right now. 

Christ, I'm being sarcastic to myself on a regular basis now. 

Time for tort.

~over and negligent. 

'Dogger! I love Dogger! That probably sounds very wrong in the modern context but I don't care, Dogger rocked!'

L.A.W

Lazing Around doing Wank-all or Lazing Around being Wasted.
That's what my degree should be.

Back from the wigggggggg... It shuts at midnight these days. [but is back to 24/7 tomorrow.. handily in time for exams.. whoop?]

I want to BE an spser. Like seriously.. We were looking at some of their past papers and they were sickening.. If only I was actually cool enough to do sps. Cos then I could do the exams tomorrow.. [yeah I know I am grossly underestimating the amount of work needed.. but hey. My profession is bitter and cynical. What do you expect?]

Are crowds rational?

Is globalization a myth?

Is Russia capitalist?

I'd take those over tort any day. [Wednesday if possible please.]

Asides from that, I am royally fucked. I finally learnt what ultra vires and inter alia means though. Such a dumbass.. Why is it that I don't care right now? Like I want to go out and dance and have fun.. not worry over stupid problems which nobody has bothered being upfront about in over 200 years. [or 2000+ in one subject]

I also have my career sorted. Never mind being a barrister/solicitor.. I can just write essays. You can get like £500 for a 1,000 word 2i essay done for the next day. Actually.. I'll prob still be a b/s [bullshitter- nice coincidence] but just write some 'inspirational' essays on the side.

Ah you know I couldn't be bothered. I hate essays.

Interesting fact; someone searched for 'suckin sally' and got this. GUTTED.
As for the rest of you googlers/other search engines/sites.. well.. meh. I'll reserve opinions.. [not really, cos it's not like anyone ever visits here twice.. [that'll be the herpes]]

Um.. I forgot what I was saying..

I should probably clarify.. I'm not drunk right now. Yes I know I just came back from the library, so there is a high probability that I would be.. but I'm not..

Maybe I will stress tomorrow. I think I probably should.

~over and out the window

'oh that's a wanky law'

'you know, when we have a law library there's just gonna be this massive section of Wanky Law and a tiny section of Meh Law..'

LAW

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS

SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE

Bah

*nods*

Work is slow.. I'm onto s.18 and the poisoning offences though ^_^
Of course, this is in one subject, and I have another 3 to do. In 3 days.
Cuntarded I tell you.

My quotebook is up and running again. If I can write fast enough.. Although most of the time, I'm the only one who finds them funny... ah well.. FWL and I broke in the new term by going on our traditional jaunt.. As it was a special occasion we dressed up a bit [wore a velvet jacket over a hoody- upmarket hobo] and took wine glasses full of port instead of the usual tipples.. It was fun.. People though we were insane and drunk.. which we weren't really. And then we continued our route [had to make sure benchy and death were still there] and zomg! life has been painted! *_*
We also noticed a poem thing.. which is hilarious. I love it. I'm gonna point it out to lots of people and make them read it.

See this is the problem.. I need to work.. but I would rather have fun wasting. And really, now that I've reached the point where it makes no real difference, I just don't care anymore. Because it's going to turn out shit anyway, so I may as well have fun instead of worrying... [of course the worry will hit later on.. maybe..]

I'm dying of coughing. Again.

Oh. Bum. Work. To. Be. Done.

~over and blah

My bones

are so SO cold...
I don't think it's a good thing.
I've been back for 2 hours now... I should be warm... I'm dry.. but not quite warm.. I guess I am basically a piece of meat though, thawing from the outside in.. Lovely thought.
Rowing in the rain is interesting... it's quite fun when you're doing it, long as the boat keeps their spirits up.. but when you stop.. it's ick. Especially when you get out, realise that you're soaked and that this is quite cold, lift the boat to head and then get another load of water tipped on you..
Although it was also quite funny..
Going out for a second time is also.. interesting. This time the rain wasn't so apparent, but the windchill was.. wet+cold air = freezing rower.

Oh jesus, I need to stop talking about rowing.. I'm not even a good rower.. I have no right to talk about it this much.. but it is useful for drinking purposes.. being a boatie that is..

There was a street preacher talking about mesopotamia today... and then something about jews. I got confused and kept walking..

Oh dear.. I should be reading about homicide.. Bollocks. Not the homicide, the fact that I should be reading about it.
I wonder if I can just make up the law.. and manage to make an expert in it believe me.... probably not..

Here's another question.. should I watch the l word this year? I mean.. I don't know if I can be bothered.. I guess I can make people watch it with me though.. if I can figure out how to actually watch it. Hrrm. *ponder*

Bah. Homicide is tempting me.

~over and OAPA

Merrily merrily..

life is but a dream...

_So_tired.
And I have a blister which is a perfect circle. It looks a bit like a bubble wrap bubble... oh dear..
But I won't talk about that... because that would make me a boatie. uuurk. That reminds me.. I need to go buy a ruler..

Hmm.. apart from being very tired.. the only other interesting thing that has happened today is a charity guy making me feel shit for not giving him my bank details and giving £5 a month to his charity... If he had a bucket then I would have given him money gladly.. but I don't know.. he seemed quite.. not aggressive.. like when I said I would look it up online and see the options he went on about how people say that but never do.. and if the charity relied on those people it wouldn't exist.. Which I suppose is fair enough. But I didn't like that he completely disregarded my wish to look it up properly. He also tried to convince me that I could afford to sign up for it now despite me telling him that no, I really probably couldn't. Is it wrong to want to go and think about something and see if it fits into your 'budget' before getting into it?

I feel this raises another issue which should really be kept for another post.

Wall update: there is now a nice growth of stuff on it. It looks better. More like me.

Work update: Oh FUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHCCCCCKKKKKKKK [yes, that's 'fuhck', I feel it conveys the drawn out tone more effectively] Still nothing.

Election update: The Ole Gal won! Interesting. Bring on Super Tuesday. And I already know I'm getting very little sleep next November.

Blister update: Still perfectly circular. Becoming more differentiated from the rest of my hand.

And with that, I'm going to go and buy a ruler.

~Over and laterzz

*bump*

argh... oh dear..
I totally just published that post way too early...

Anyhoo.. I am back to studentville...
Got up at stupid o'clock to spend 5 hours rowing. 'Twas interesting. There's a new bridge which surprised me and left me momentarily more dazed than usual.. So that took up a bit of the day.. and a lot of my hands. Calluses.. ouchy.
And then when I got back and went to have a shower I realised that in order to do so I would have to go to superdrug and buy some shampoo.. I hate that I never really give these things much thought.. had to do the same with food.
Seriously, I am an idiot.

My exam is this time next week....
Judging by the fact that today I have only managed to get through a handful of cases [10 to be exact].. I am well and truly SCREWED. But you knew this already. So am I going to work into the night? Of course not, you know that I won't, you know that I am going to go and play pool and perhaps watch a film. You think I would have learnt sometime in my 14+ years of education.. but apparently not.

I didn't really decorate my room. Just put everything back up that was there before. I think decoration will be a project over this term. Did you want to know that? Probably not. But then 'you' probably don't exist.. cos nobody really reads this.. I'd stop if it wasn't a decent outlet/distraction. So basically.. I can say what I want... even though it is all horrifically boring. I lost all my good traits because I answered mostly Cs in a quiz once. It explained everything.


~over but not really.

Packity pack packed

I think I am mostly packed.
Maybe.
I still have too much stuff. Like a massive box more. =(
But then I suppose this time I haven't actually tried to cram loads of stuff into the suitcase.. I've done it by weight limit this time.. At least I hope I have..

Hmm.. I feel I should be enjoying home as much as possible in my last remaining hours... As if to soak up the comfort while I still can... and watch as much crap tv as possible... Although it kinda bores me a bit.. Hrrm.
I hope there's going to be people back by now... Being the only one in the accommodation is creeeeeepy.. being one of the few in college is creeepy too. But I'm pretty sure there will be people about generally, just perhaps not specifically.
I also hope the heating in my room has magically started working over the vacation. Because it wasn't before.. and it's quite a bit colder now.. And I think people think I'm a bit weird when I wear my hat all the time.. purely for warmth..

Hmm.. I should really make a list of things that I have to do.. before I forget half of them. Ah well.

Have I anything interesting to say? No.
Does anyone care? Nope.
Is anyone reading? Nope.

*does a dance*

Perhaps I will spend tomorrow decorating my room.. after the getting annoyed by travelling, having to carry a heavy suitcase, unpacking, more unpacking, finding food and keeping warm.

I'm not looking forward to having to get up before 9/10 am again.. I like my bed here.. I like beds in general.. Sleep is good... Yes.. Sleep. Hmm.. Drugs first!


ah can't wait to see people again... I can wait for the work and stress and all that crap. But no.. I must concentrate on the fun potential...

pAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRty!


~over and back to the mainland..

Bumf

Yo.

It's packing up time again...
Only this time I have more stuff to take back and no place to put it..
Fun times ahead.

There was something I was going to ramble about.. but I can't remember it now.

I'm ironing.. yes that's right IRONING.. for the first time in aages..

I'll have a ponder and come back and edit methinks.

[edit]
eesh I feel tired.. it's typical that I get colded up just as I'm heading back to stresstown innit bruv?

Some problems:
- I have done no work over the holidays
- I have exams to do which need the above work to be done
- I have not done any exercise
- I have forgotten how to row
- I am going back early for rowing
- I have gotten used to space and warmth and general comfort and food

=/

It's been such weird weather.. well I say weird.. it's not really.. crazy snow/ice and now lots of rain.. rain rain rain. I do like rain.. apart from when it tries to attack me by seeping up my trousers.. that's not so nice at all.

Ok..

So far resolutions are.. well.. yes. Haven't had much chance to keep them yet..
I got a few more:
- talk more
-take more photos
- buy drinks for people whenever they want one [ hmm interesting try]
- do some street art
- keep tidy

uuurk... so much to do tomorrow.. so much to organise and collect and pack into a suitcase. Maybe I'll just post everything in massive boxes. That would work.

This is boring. I am boring.
I want to go dance. Where is the dance?!

~bring me the dance...

So this is the New Year..

And I don't feel any different...

It was a given that I'd quote that, wasn't it?
In fact, I think I said the same thing last year.. Good ole predictable me.

Right.
New list of things to do before I die.
I haven't really thought about it much, so it is liable for revision.

1- Shower in a waterfall [without leeches/parasites]
2- Go to as many countries as possible [20+ maybe?]
3- Learn another language
4- See the Northern Lights
5- Learn how to fall in love safely [if such a thing is possible]
6- Stay in fancy dress+character for a day
7- Get a degree
8- Do something that will be remembered in years to come [either in the history books or in legend]
9- Jump off something tall and not die- experience prolonged falling
10- Achieve pure, unadulterated happiness.

That's all for now.

Resolutions wise.. I am asking for other people's suggestions as all of mine were deemed to 'not really be resolutions'. I mean I guess 'to not make mistakes' is a bit non-resolvey.. as it can't really be done.. If it were up to me I think I'd just resolve to improve. But anyway.. so far I have:
- Dance more
- Be awesome
- Get drunk frequently
- Do something that scares me
- Get a nice girl/boyfriend [that basically is something that scares me but anyway]
- Learn to enjoy courgette [blergggh.. NO]
- Stop smoking [ ? ? ?]
- Wear crazier clothes
- Learn something new everyday [I like this one]
- Develop hardcore beliefs
- Take every opportunity

If I were to add some it'd probably be to stop being emo. And to think a normal amount instead of too much. I also think I should stop being openly self-deprecating.. I don't like it when people think I'm being self-pitying when I'm just being honest. So I guess I'll 'cut the self-pitying bullshit' by just not saying anything.. that works.. yes? Oh and I'm considering forcing myself to change and become a complete socialite. But then.. that's not really what I want.. so I probably won't.

Heh.. there are 8 English people in my house.. that's 7 more than usual. It's fun.. reminds me of uni. Which also reminds me I should be doing work. Oh dear. I'll do something in 5 mins..

New Years was fun, there was dancing and chatting and me watching people get drunker and doing quadruple shots.. goodstuff. Then there was the strangest attempt at auld lang syne ever.. nobody knew what we were doing at all..

meeeeep

~Over and just begun

=_=

Rar.

So the list I found the other day.. My friend and I wrote it one year.. here;

Things To Do Before Death 01/01/04
1-Fly a plane
I'd still quite like to do this one.. I think I'd just like to be able to fly in general..
2-Go sky diving
I don't really want to do this one.. well I guess I do, as it's kind of flying. Base jumping maybe.
3-Go to the Moon
Yeah... this one was kinda a silly one we put in for fun..
4-Fly supersonic
That would be cool.. of course I'd have passed out due to the G-force.. but anyway. F-35B please.
5-Meet someone famous
Kinda done this one. Various band members etc.
6-Swim with dolphins
Can you say 'cliché' ? Ah well.. We were young. And it would probably still be cool. Long as they didn't maul me.
7-Experience popularity
This was a stupid one.. I think I no longer really care.. Just want a cool group of people around me.
8-Fall in love twice
Having thought about it, I'm halfway there. I decided that on occasion 1 I wasn't actually in love at all.
9- Go to N.Z
Another weird one.. this may have been my friend's.. I mean I would like to go to N.Z but this is kinda of surplus to requirement as no.13 covers it.
10-Give out a detention
Haha.. this one is just silly.. but amusing. I think I can say that I qualified.. I never actually gave out a detention but I was able to..
11-Shower in a waterfall
Still want to do this one.. just not get any leeches or waterborne parasites.
12-Go to as many concerts as possible
This one's going well.
13-Go to as many countries as possible
This one, not so much. This summer though.
14-Live abroad for a month
Unless uni counts.. see no.13
15-Eat the same thing for breakfast, lunch and dinner
Hmm.. I guess I have done this.. but only in the one meal a day sense. Not eating the same thing three times over. Hmm.. nah, still to do.
16-Have one day of complete memory
This was mostly for my friend.. 'cos she's forgetful [scary to think she's a medic].. but I think I have done it. Hurrah.
17-One day of staying in fancy dress + character
Oh this would be fun. Defs still on the list.
18-Talk to 5 randomers
Easily done!
19-Learn another language fluently
yeah... Still would love to be able to.. I'll work on it..
20-Play in a band
Kinda done it..
21-See the Northern Lights
Still have to go see them..

But yes, I think I need a new list. I will work on one.

Oo.. today I heard that a couple from my year in school have got engaged..! Weird.. Good luck to them and everything.. but marriage just seems a bit... much..

I've been listening to lots of Deathcab recently.. They did a cover of a Cure song.. I'm not sure how I feel about this.. The cover isn't a patch on the original.. not even a bit of fluff on it. But the fact that they even tried.. hmm.. Maybe it'd be different if they had tried something interesting.. instead of just a straight cover. Not that I have any authority on the matter.. There's son decent lyrics in the rarities though. Well I like them anyway.
I'll be chained to this beast with no chance of severance, because Jealousy rides with me, such a faithful companion no one could be for a journey that leads to the outskirts of time.. but don't worry about me, I'll be fine..It beats being lonely, I'll be fine...

Hmm.. so a new year. Tomorrow perhaps I will ramble about it. Because it's not like I have any work to do. Bugger.

'Cancer isn't funny... but testicles are'

TV amuses me. There are some weird people on Antiques Roadshow. A guy smuggled artwork out of Cuba. And his girlfriend looks like a stereotypical european spy. Wearing a hat, trenchcoat and sunglasses inside.

I just realised that I'm dressed entirely in grey. Impressive. I like grey.
Maybe that's why I'm so insanely boring....

Ha.. anyways. Perhaps a new list and lots of rambling tomorrow.

Paranoia paranoia
Everybody's coming to get me
Just say you never met me
I'm going underground with the moles
Hear the voices in my head
I swear to god it sounds like they're snoring
But if you're bored then you're boring
The agony and the irony, they're killing me...

Love that song..

~Over and off to wallow in music..

Splutter

Yo.

How's it going?
Really.. I want to know. I'm bored. And I miss talking to people. Sigh.

I went shopping today. In the sales. In Belfast.
Joy.
Although I guess it wasn't too bad.. And I did get a lot of stuff.. but I don't know.. Whilst I like the stuff.. I don't think I can pull it off.. [no, I don't mean literally.. ] as in.. I don't know whether clothes actually suit me or not.. and really.. I assume that I look like crap most of the time [because I do look like crap most of the time].. so I think I'm beginning to care less.. and just wear whatever. Which is kind of nice I guess. Why am I telling you this? Probably because talking about sales made me think of the stuff I bought and how I don't know if the clothes are really 'me' and if there even is a really 'me' for them to be. Identity crisis ahoy. Or not. I know who I am.. I just don't know how I come across. [Insert ramble about whether who you are is internal or external].

ANYHOO... I got shiiiiiiny shoes and a dress... and an emo hoodless hoody... and a coat.. etc. Which will be fun to fit into a suitcase.

ZOMG.. I only have like a week and a bit left before going back to uni. This worries me as I have done no work. And I have exams at the start of term. I'm clearly an idiot.. 8 weeks of work ≠ easily crammable. But I guess being back at uni will be good, people to talk to.. the work/exams/lack of comfort will not be so good.. but oh well..

Hehe.. Dara should be live on tv more often. ''I've eaten through my own face''

Yeas. New Year soon. I was gonna type out a list I found the other day of things I wanted to do before I die.. but now I'm tired and well.. figured there's no saving this post.

~ Hugging in a special way...

Boxes

Wheeeeee! Look at me go!


w00t.

Well, that's another Christmas over.. It really is just another day.. but a nice one I guess. I now own a radio. That means that I should be able to keep in one-sided contact with the outside world during term... Maybe.

New Year next... That means I'm going to have to be all reflective about this year and then be all determined not to do the wrong things again next year.. That's too much effort. Although not really.. Seeing as I'm constantly thinking about these things anyway, just on a smaller scale.. ie days/weeks not a whole year.. Hmm. Fun times ahoy.

My brother's gf is coming over tomorrow.. at least.. I think she's his gf.. I mean, she was, but she might not still be. And we've been trying to work it out for months.. But I think it's fair to say that she is. Obviously, because she's coming over. I think I'm high on mince pies. And the hot toddy* could have something to do with it...

*PURELY MEDICINAL - I am plagued.

Heh.. Have you seen the news about that tiger that went on a rampage? Of course you have. Whoever you are. With your googley eyes. Anyway.. Why was the zoo open? I mean, surely the whole world stops on 25th Dec.. and that's why everyone panics and buys enough food for a week, in case the world doesn't start up again for a while...no? Mkay.
I like how everyone is like 'well there was a huge moat and a massive wall'.. and I'm sitting here thinking 'but tigers like swimming.. and can probably climb. I mean, they have climbing spikes inbuilt! Even if they couldn't climb initially, in that enclosure they probably got bored enough to learn..'

I'm gonna stop talking about the tiger now..

I've quite enjoyed the TV that's been on.. except that I've noticed that all the channels have the same films, they just show them at different times. But anyway.. yes, TV has been enjoyable.. there is actually good funny stuff on.. and dr who.. And there is probably time to play boardgames.. yaaaay. Although.. really.. should start working.

Dum de dum.. I'm bored. I miss the days when I could talk lots.

I think I'm gonna stop now..

urk.

Hmph.

Grrski.. I hate people.
Not actually.. I just hate lots of people being really 'busy' and inefficient in a small space. I'm talking about people shopping at Christmas if you can't tell. We had some food and stuff to get today, so went shopping.
Annoyance no. 1 : THE CAR PARK
Right, a mini-multistorey [ie 2 floors]. People couldn't get out of the higher floor and so were just sitting all over the car park.. blocking the people coming in from actually parking.. which in turn meant that it was harder for the people wanting out to get out.. And then there were just some people sitting there in their cars doing nothing.. So I got out of my car.. walked about, told people that there were spaces 'thataway' if they wanted them and then got annoyed when some people only moved forward an inch.. So squeezed past them [probably a bit too quickly for their [and their wingmirrors'] liking and parked.
Annoyance no. 2 : THE SHOPPING ITSELF
So we walk in... and it's hell already.. people are queueing down the aisles.. meaning that it's quite difficult for people who want to get something from the aisles to get it. So I leave my mother with the trolley because I know that if I am left with it I will despair with humanity completely and start ranting at strangers about their hideous inefficiency due to lack of attention. The gathering of food goes mostly well.. and so we join a queue. And halfway through the queue ignorant woman butts into it.. with her designer handbag and trenchcoat.. for some reason I think she also had sunglasses on her head.. hmm.. So we tactfully sort her out and get through all the checkout malarky.. only for..
Annoyance no.3 : CAR PARK TAKE 2 - THE WANKER IN THE HONDA
So.. get to the carpark.. it's still all jammed up.. but I breathe deeply and decide to do what is clearly the best thing to do- be british and get in the goddamn queue and stay there happily queueing. So after about half an hour I get close to the exit, only for Johnny Cockface to drive across the empty parking spaces and pull up beside me, expecting to get into the mainstream of traffic in front of me. Well I'd be damned if I let him get away with such a flagrant disregard for the OBVIOUS QUEUEING SYSTEM [Like really, it went the whole way round the carpark, it couldn't be missed]. So I made sure there was no way I was letting him in. The car behind me [silver bmw, middle aged female driver] had also decided that he wasn't getting in.. and so majorly cut him up after beeping at him.. At this point it became apparent that most of the queue had united and decreed that this man with his prominent sat-nav [if and when I use mine, I do it discreetly.. and ignore the instructions] was not going to get away with being so rude.
There was a real feeling of queue solidarity, it was awesome. That's Christmas.

Those were my main shopping annoyances.. You know how pointless inefficiency pisses me off. I'm sure I've ranted needlessly about it many times before.

Ah TV... there's suddenly good stuff on.. Like Fawlty Towers [don't mention the war ep], Father Ted, Have I Got News For You.. Lots of okayish films too I guess.. Heh, South Park.. I think I'm in an easily humoured mood.. i.e the immodium plus ad.. "When you had diarrhea this morning YOU HAD A CHOICE.."

It could, of course, be the mulled wine.

Hmm. Eve tomorrow. Should probably think about putting the tree up. Maybe.

~over and this post is ending early. lucky you.

mumph.

Yeo.

Hmm...
I got sent revision stuffs.. on parliamentary sovereignty. YUM. Highlighting counts as work, right? If so I have already slaughtered one highlighter and therefore must have done something vaguely productive. I feel quite sad everytime a highlighter dies.. When it just can't colour anymore.. =(
But then the happiness that the fluorescence of a fresh highlighter brings is quite nice.. blinding almost.
I like highlighters ^_^

[break fo' some mo' highlightin']

Haha.. I love some of the sentences that legal people come out with.. "But that is theory and has no relation to realities." They always throw in a sentence at the end of an extremely long and confusing paragraph to render what they've just said completely void... "But that is for another day." I guess that's kinda in keeping with my style. Maybe this is the right subject for me after all.. I haven't been so sure for a little while.. hmm.

I've been thinking. I'm always thinking.. Most times I don't like it.. And I'm right not to. Thinking makes everything worse..!!
I don't know what I'm gonna do about this thinking. Put it in a box and drop it in the grand canyon.. That will become my answer to everything..

I was having lunch with some comrades today.. again.. no news. Apart from the fact that people are routinely forced to wear antlers.. Which amused me.. I hope there's plenty of hanging out time before they all disappear off travelling.. I wanna go places.. I will this summer.. really.. I will.. maybe.. perhaps... If I can find someone to go with..

Muuuaaargggh!

If I just don't talk.. will things get better? I always wonder that.. Like if it's better to be proactive.. or just to do nothing and see what happens... hmm.

bah. I'm sleepy. And I'm not actually being coherent. So I'm gonna stop. Cos no one's reading anyway. Maybe I'll be brave tonight..

~Over and out.

Scene.

Fire.. Love it. And taking photos of it is fun.

So. Went to el slimelight last night. It started off sticky.. but then developed into the sweaty, slimey hole that we all know and love..
AGHGAAAAH!!!
A cat just took my headphones off!
I was just sitting here telling you about the limelight.. and a paw came and batted my headphones off! The cheek of cats these days.

Anyway, as I was saying [I know that I've been one of the few who walks away from you Steven Smith we all lose. One look at you and they're suddenly covered in shrapnel too] the limelight..
IS SO SCENE IT HURTS. Like really.. People actually dress up to go out.. I forgot that that happens. So many people with asymmetrical haircuts and perfectly applied liquid eyeliner and fashionably prepared vintage clothing.. And there were even people with.. with.. HEADBANDS. I don't see that sort of thing on a regular basis.. Probably because I'm a skank.. but still.. The only time I saw that level of scene whilst I was away was at a Robots gig.. where it's kind of expected-ish.
Seeing people that I had forgotten existed was a bit strange too..
But it was nice to be back embarrassing people with my stupid shitty excuse for dancing.. Someone wanna buy me some skill for christmas? anyone?

In other news, we have a ladder for stairs. It's an interesting arrangement. I also have a lot of swedish furniture to put together. But I'm going to drink this cider first. Because DIY goes better when drunk.. if you're me at least anyway. Yeaaaah. I also have just the teensiest weeniest feeling that I have been lied to. Which is always nice. Oo, there's an environmental journalist on the Daily Show.. Plastic eating microbes... yum. Apparently there have been no major happenings here during the past 10 weeks.. Disappointing. I thought somebody would have done something interesting.. but seemingly not. But it was decided that I do have more work and worse accommodation than the people at uni here.

The Secret Millionaire is using Bat For Lashes... interesting.

Instead of trying to find new music to listen to, I have decided to just go and listen to all the old music that I haven't listened to properly in a while.. So I'm having fun having little fests of music and getting back into it all..

Right.. I can't put this furniture off any longer.. might edit later.. might not.. bet you're on edge.




not.



~over and up the ladder.

[edit] So it's taken me.... uh.. well it's 22.41.. so however long to construct a wardrobey type thing and two under bed storage boxes.. I suck. =(

Oo er..

I went to Ikea today. I feel as if my life has been abducted for 3ish hours. It would have been fine if it had been only me going to get stuff.. but I was not alone.. So it took ages..
Here is what I learnt:
- Belfast's Ikea is the biggest in the UK.
- Ikea's flat pack trolleys are fucking awesome for zooming around the aisles.
- Now that I'm an 'adult' nobody bothers to tell me off for zooming about the aisles on said trolley. Instead they look on with envy [more realistically, disgust].
-Swedish furniture can be extremely tempting.
-Instead of paying for a measuring tape from John Lewis, nest time I can just find the nearest Ikea and get a stack of free paper ones. And lots of pencils.
- IKEA STEALS YOUR SOUL

Gah. Am I the only one to be annoyed that a perfume as is using the yeah yeah yeahs' music? I mean, maybe it would be ok if the perfume was cool, but it's called 'elle'.. that's a girly mag, not a rocky edgey fragrance.

I have a decision to make when 9 o'clock swings around. Do I watch A) The Omid Djalili Show B) Have I Got A Bit More News For You or C) Bones ?
Last time I watched A, I saw Omid's testicles. =(
B is probably a safe bet.
C means I have to try and forget that David Boreanaz is David Boreanaz.
Ok.. well.. my decision has magically made itself. A isn't on til 9.40. C is one I've seen.. B it is. Although hmm. Richard of Judy fame.

Ooo.. sweeney todd! That'll be fun.. Adventure to the cinemaaaa. I have to go see the golden compass and st. trinian's too.. but before going back to uni.
My laptop is creaking... That's worrying, right?
In future I must have some sort of plan for posts. Hehe.. I'm loving this stand up.. and this multi-tasking sketch..

Hmm..
Eleven Things:
1- I'm bored and can't think of anything to type about
2- Why do things [animals and people I guess] look so sweet and calm when they're sleeping? unless they're doing that crazy thing where their eyes are still kinda open.. eek.
3- Why do I get distracted when I play tetris and try to get the lowest score possible/ make the prettiest pattern with the blocks?
4 - I'm going insane. This has now been confirmed.
5 - People are always leaving. I don't like it.
6 - I think I must be antisocial, and crap at being social.
7 - What's it like to fall a really great distance? Does time do that funny thing where it slows down? or does it speed up and before you know it you're splattered on some solid surface? Perhaps I should ask someone who's done a parachute jump. Which would be three of my friends. Handy.
8 - I have really shaky hands. My mum thinks I have Parkinson's. Or have fried my nerve endings with drugs. But really, I just have shaky hands. I can make my fingers twitch involuntarily.. ok I know, paradox [the english term, not the person], but not really.. in that.. I can sort of.. make it start but then have no control over it. I'll show you sometime. Then it'll make sense.
9 - I would quite like to study other subjects. And sometimes I wonder if I made the right choice.. because a lot of other degrees look like muchos fun. Maybe I could be an eternal student.. just getting degree after degree..
10 - I don't understand dreams. Like.. they're in my own head.. so.. like.. shouldn't they be nice to me? and shouldn't I be able to have some sort of control over them? And be able to tell what was a dream and what was real life?
11 - When I think about things like no. 3,4,6,7,9,10 I sometime think there may actually be something wrong with me. Like I'm schizophrenic. But then sometimes I think I'm a hypochondriac. Who's correct?!

Well, that's filled up space at least.

I will come up with a concept tomorrow.

~over and goodnight.

Cults...

Yo.

Cults eh?
Watched that programme about the 'End of the World' cult last night.. And y'know.. it made me think about cults..
And cult. I can't decide if I should take a look in there or if it will just piss me off with its overpriced, overtrendy wares.

Sidenote: It is interesting, that when there are builders jackhammering the walls around me, I am actually more productive work-wise, then when there aren't... Explanation anyone?

Back to the subject of cults:
So if you were going to start a cult, what would your..uh.. rules? ideology? [cheesh.. I can't even think of what the correct term is..] be?

I haven't thought about this a lot.. Not on the same scale as My Super Duper Über Fort anyway.
But y'know I like to think I'd be reasonable enough not to predict The End Of The World within my lifetime. And I wouldn't be all creepy..
I'd have fun prophecies/rules.
Like.. we'd like shiiiiny things. And have frequent parties/music-listening-to-sessions/film watching. The general principle being to just loaf around and have fun.. The money to fund it would come from a.. uh.. hmm.. Somewhere. It would come from Somewhere. Definitely.
Main beliefs? Hmm.. To be nice to people and have fun.. just interacting with people.. y'know.. 'cos that's nice.. That probably stems from my like for sitting watching people.. like when you're in a cafe or something and you can see the people on the street.. And also that I love just hanging out.. There might be a slight problem I guess.. in that there would need to be some new people every so often.. so that the group didn't get bored and annoyed with each other.. but then.. the group couldn't be too big so that people didn't get to know each other... hmmm. Mathematical equation needed.

There would be cool nicknames too. And dressing up. And shiny things. And lots of messing about. But no pressure to do any work.
So actually, it would basically be university except with no need to do work [it could be done if you felt like it though] and with nicer facilities [paid for by the money from Somewhere].

Rar rar rar..

Brian Wankum. What a name.

Hmm.. The noise and dust is back so I'm gonna go be productive.. perhaps...
I'll get bored though and probably come back.. not that anyone cares. bah.

~over and bah to you dust!

Dude..

What day is it?
Tuesday?
I gotta get back into this keeping track thing. Like really.

Dum de dum..
I watched muppet christmas carol the other day..
Didn't make me feel overly christmassy.. think I am becoming a bit of a scrooge. I like certain bits of Christmas.. like the family time and mulled wine/cider etc. just not the rest of it.. ah well.

Oo.. I went to the doctor's the other day. He made my head light up like a chinese lantern. It was annoying. Blinking didn't make it stop. Apparently it looked really cool though.. Wish I'd taken a picture.. =(

People are going to start coming home soooon ^_^
But I really gotta start working on the ole law. Stupid exams. I can't decide on which level of stress to operate. I can stress myself out mega-easily if I think about the right things in the right contexts. But for now.. manifesto!
I think perhaps why I've been so strange lately [as in above the normal level] is 'cos I haven't been doodling enough to satisfy my emo side.. makes sense.. yeah? so anyway..
How does one go about drawing ducks?

WTF??!
THAT IS NOT WHAT THE CHIPMUNKS LOOK/SOUND LIKE!!!
gargh.

Is it wrong that I like that hoosiers' song? the one about being worried about Ray? It reminds me of the lemonheads' song.. simply because of Ray. He gets around a bit dun he?

Hmph. Why can't I decide who to trust?

Happy Tuesday..

Withdrawl

Addiction sucks.
Well, actually, it's not so much the addiction as the withdrawl..
I mean, I guess addiction does suck in that you become reliant on something and you can't guarantee that it will always be available. But whilst it is there, everything's great. Once it's gone and you have to go all cold turkey then it really freakin' blows.
And really I don't know what I'm talking about. But meh... Do I ever?

F.I.R.E.I.N.C.A.I.R.O

Yeah so, withdrawl..
When you decide to give up is there more of a conviction to do so? Like, because you have made that choice is it easier to just cut whatever out? I suppose it must be. And it probably depends on what you're cutting out as to how much will power is needed. Hmm..
And then.. when you don't make that decision.. is it harder? Because you hadn't prepared yourself and thought about it... I'm just talking crap aren't I? oh well. Just let me ramble for a bit further.. Because right, I accept the situation, really, I do. And most of the time it's okay and I'm cool. But then I just have these moments where I miss it majorly and I hate it.. I hate not being able to forget about it and get over it as quickly and as easily as everyone else can. I hate that despite the fact that I know the facts and can cope most of the time, there are still times when it gets to me and I revert back to my old position of not understanding.. I don't know what I miss exactly.. I guess I miss fooling myself into thinking that I was worth something..Or that sense of safety.. Or just generally, really.
But then of course, a little while later, everything's back to being ok again.. and I'm all grand.
Going back and forth sucks.
And I don't even know what exactly I'm complaining about. I'm just complaining! okay?!
Maybe it's just because I suck. And can't cope with cutting something out completely.. dead..gone.. zilch. But then.. I can kind of.. It's just when I realise I've done it that things go wrong.
And also when I remember that anyone else affected is completely fine and cool 24/7 and no longer cares about it... I mean, I don't know what I actually expect.. Nothing really. When I actually think about it. People are better than me, why wouldn't they get to 100% and just move right along? [and good on 'em, I'm happy for them]. Instead of my method of slowly recovering and maintaining a level of maybe 95% for a while. There are way more infinitely awesomer and more fun things out there, so why not get to them asap? Do I really expect people to actually care/be affected in any way? Because that really would be stupid of me.
None of this is my place..
I don't know why I'm bothering to type..
I have everything sorted in my head. Just about. I just have moments. Moments where I'd like to talk about it with someone relevant.. but that isn't really possible. Even if it was possible, you know I'd just go and fuck it up even further than I have done thusfar. Without meaning to at all. Because I do accept everything... I get it. I just.. don't know. For some reason it niggles me still. It'll stop soon, I know it will.
Perhaps it's just because I'm a loser. I think that pretty much causes and explains everything.

Don't get attached to life...

Sigh.. I guess it was the associated stuff that I wasn't prepared to have to go without. But I do have to.. for now at least. And it sucks. And maybe it will get better. Following this, it possibly won't. Although yeah, really, this will make no difference. But then I guess that the associated stuff belongs to someone else now anyway. I just... gah!

Bluuuuurgh.

I don't know what I'm getting so caught up about. There isn't anything to get agitated over, and nobody else even considers it.

So basically this was a waste of space, and I am fully aware of this fact.
I apologise for making you endure this..
I will be back to normal in 5 mins. You'll see.

~over and I promise I'm not a psycho.

Urk

I'm sort of doing a podcast.
But it definitely sucks.

So..

=/


Yeah. Probably not going to be published.
Yay for your ears!

[edit] bugger it.

Hah.. I am so not spending my saturday watching Dog the Bounty Hunter... oh.. wait.. yes I am..

Actually, that's unfair.. I have been productive despite it being the SHITTIEST day weatherwise. I've been out, navigated several mini-lakes, got a new airport express, food, newspaper, sorted out the animals... and really there's not a lot else I can do.. So Dog it is. If it were a weekday it would be Without A Trace, Bones, more Bones and that town called Eureka thing.

[...]

I spoke too soon.

The postman just arrived with my books.
And Jesus!
They're bloody heavy.
Now I guess I have some work to do.
Awesome.

~over and there is no way I am going outside again.

I don't know why I'm posting that now.. When I'm home.. And don't have to drink coffee come 1.30 am.
But oh well.
Besides, it won't even work because I bet it won't be the right format...



I'M HOOOOOOOOOOOOOME!!!!!

And The Good Life are fucking awesome and Tim Kasher is a genius.
Like really.. I just love his lyrics.. This post may contain quite a lot of them. Just so you know.


Questions:
WHERE IS THE CORRIDOR?
Why do most doors open without the use of a corkey?
Why isn't everything I need within arm's reach of my chair?
Why isn't everywhere I want to go a 2 min walk away?
Why aren't there people about to chat to?
Why isn't there lots of law and legalese RAPING MY BRAIN?
What is this thing I do at night.. where I lie still and am unproductive for hours and afterwards I feel refreshed?
What is this box with moving pictures in it?
Why am I sitting in a chair which is really quite comfortable?
Is it wrong that I find the spice girls' tesco advert quite funny and good?
Why does the washing machine actually make my clothes properly clean?
Who the hell are all these people in neighbours?
Why does food magically appear?
Why does nobody seem to care about how many pans/plates/cutlery cooking will use up?
Why is the shower actually nice?

I'll stop there...

I can hardly stand... much less the sight of myself..

I think I'm gonna have a rest for a few days.. until my books arrive.. and then I'll work.. really. I will. Yes. So much to do it's unreal. Basically the whole course over again. =(
Sometimes I wonder what happens at other universities.. if people complaining of lots of work really have that much.. I guess they do.. bah, everything is a myth.

Hmm.. I kinda wish I lived on the mainland.. it would make visiting/hanging out/catching up so much easier. I know there's quite a large norn ironish crew though but..sigh.. I miss the bridge. There's so much to do there, so many possibilities. Although nowhere near as much comfort and homeliness as home. I think I need a cross between the two.

Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaar!

Your eyes can't disguise it.. so glassy, half empty.. ready to spill..

La de da.. Tim Kasher! Right there! With his awesome voice! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Not at all bad for £6.50. =)

It's different when you're lonely... the whole world's in love.. holding hands between bar stools.. and you're holding your tongue.. [the background noise over this bit is nice. I like it.]

Hmm.. imovie is a bisnitch.

ZOMG!!!
Roast duck.. and and AND.....



GRAVY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So excited.


Is that wrong? probably...

Arg. Will fix this shit up later... Apologies.. I can't write interesting things.. You know that. Right?

~over and mmmm... duck....

[edit]

The duck was damn good. There was gravy and stuffing and roast potatoes.. proper home style. I'm so gonna do a roast dinner next term. I know it's possible in my gyp room. I've seen it.

Seriously loving the good life again. I think I need to allow more time for music in Lent. Mwah ha. Watch me come up with a master plan of how I'll do all these things, and then watch me not do them.

I think there are googlers again. I don't like them. I don't understand why they are here or what they want. I like having about 2 people look at this once a fortnight. Explain yourselves!
Although how gutted must the person searching for 'fucked up at netball' have been when they found this? heh.. No porno for you. GUT-TED.

I am missing the bubble majorly. It keeps me distracted. Nobody is here. I want to catch up with everyone but no one is available to talk. And anyone that is won't want to. Woe is me. I'm such an emo loser. hah.

Somebody advise me on some new music to listen to...? please? I have 6 weeks to immerse myself.

Baaaaaaaargh! I'm bored! somebody say something!

Packing

Of the putting stuff in boxes variety thankyouverymuch..

Eeek..
How the hell did I inherit so much crap over 8 weeks?
Like really.. It's insane.

What's more, how am I going to make it 15kg? there's just no way it's happening guys.

I suppose that packing should be quite a reflective activity really. Like, the symbolism of packing your effective life into boxes, suitcases, whatever. Seeing what you've gained [a whole load of shit in my case] and so on.. Giving you time to think over the little chunk of your life that's just gone by..
It's weird to think that my first term of uni has just happened. And I'm not entirely sure it was what I thought it would be. Like it's totally awesome, but like, I only have 8 more terms left ever! and if they all go this quick... I'll be a slave to a corporate machine in no time =(

I wonder how much space everything that matters to me in life would take up. How small it could be compacted with the proper arrangement of item, which combinations are most spatially efficient etc. And what size and shapes concepts would be...
Speaking of which.. did I tell you about Crazy AIDs guy? [CAG] He doesn't have AIDs, and he probably isn't crazy, just ignorant. [NB Crazy AIDs guy is different to AIDs guy who doesn't have AIDs either but is actually very nice.] So anyway, FWL and I were out in the cold asking people to Stop AIDs, as you do. And I do the whole 'would you like to stop some AIDs today?' and CAG walks over and says, 'I think the whole thing could be stopped with a little abstinence', which is fair enough.. I then pointed out that in an ideal world yes, but realistically, once someone has AIDs it's probably going to be passed on..So drugs are needed.. He then went into this big rant about how we 'encourage pro-AIDs lifestyles' [at which point FWL said aside, 'you mean life in general..'] and how he doesn't mind people 'feeling that way' but they 'shouldn't act on it'.. At which point I wanted to shout at him really badly. Anyway, on to the crazy bit. He then said, 'Did you know that if we took all the human beings in the world and put them into a box it would be a mile long, wide and high? And then it could be dropped into the grand canyon and forgotten about'
We were just like... W....T.....F.....? Then he left.. And being lawyers, we then had to point out the flaws in that plan [as well as his earlier AIDs argument].. such as, who would operate the crane dropping the box? and it couldn't be forgotten anyway because there would be no one left to forget.

Ahem, yes anyway.. that was a bit of a tangent, although I meant well.. basically to introduce the theory of all humanity in a box. Picture it.
Do you think it would make a good photo?

In other actual news -
I managed to gain a bow tie, antlers, a red nose and quite a lot of red face paint during the course of last night.
And an award for "best game face".
I've injured myself again. I keep doing it in such unexciting ways. This time a very drunk boy fell full force on my knee.. which dutifully made a strange noise and now doesn't like to bend too much.
Also, we did ok in that rowing thing.

In case you hadn't noticed, I think I'm becoming even more vague and abstract. I'm probably not. I'm probably just talking crap. In fact, I know I'm talking crap. And yet I can't help asking myself stupid questions and letting my mind wander on from there..

Like why do I care about things which are none of my business? Why do I voluntarily expend energy on them? It doesn't seem to be stoppable. And there really is no point in it. *eats a caramel square*
Yeesss.. the moment of realization of being worthless.. that's what does it.

Roar.

This is why I shouldn't have a blog.
This is why I shouldn't think and/or exist in general.

This is why I need to go pack away my life.

~over and boxed up

[edit]
Now that I have had my meal of the day, I feel like telling you another Stop AIDs story. This one is entitled, 'The Crazy Communist Lady'. You probably won't find it amusing.. But I'm going to tell you anyway. Because that is how I roll, had you not noticed by this point.

The Crazy Communist Lady
Once upon a time, there were two waster lawyers [WLs] who enjoyed the pursuit of stopping AIDs in their spare time. On one occasion, in the freezing cold, when the WLs were stopping AIDs in its tracks as well as making up AIDs versions of popular songs, a lady in a red coat happened to stop by the stall. The WLs asked her if she would like to stop AIDs. She enquired as to what exactly the scheme was. When she was told it was about relaxing laws so that generic drugs could be used, the first opinion was made known. "Oh, I read in a study that over half of generic drugs don't actually do anything. So I don't think I'll sign." The WLs did not give up however, and mentioned that parhaps co-operation with drug companies would be a good step if she wasn't keen on the generic drugs. CCL then mentioned that she worked for the NHS and that we should believe everything we read in the papers about them, bullying is rife and she is going to leave the country. "Very nice" say the WLs. The conversation moves back to the current government.. at which point CCL sees fit to lean over to MajorWL and whisper conspiratorially "the problem with this government is it's full of capitalists.. Marx was right wasn't he?" MajorWL half agreed in that lawyerly way, stating that Marx did make a lot of sense, but in practice it didn't often work out so well. "Yes, but that's because everyone is so greedy". Well done dear, well done. At this point, MajorWL thought it would be a good idea to try and lighten the mood and finish the conversation, what with having AIDs to stop and all. Unfortunately MajorWL made the mistake of commenting jokingly about being nearby to King's with its left-friendly attitude. "Terrible place, elitist and founded by one of the worst capitalists in history... Henry VIII." Whilst taken aback by this, MajorWL tries to keep the conversation up by remarking that Henry VIII was 'quite a character'. "All of the problems with this country can be traced back to him. A lot of them are his fault," again, stage whispered. MajorWL could only nod and say that yes, she supposed they could all be traced back but maybe things will change in the future.
CCL signed the damn petition.

The End